Britain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgians

meat_is_murder19

New Member
BRITAIN has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks - according to the BORING BELGIANS.
As tensions rise ahead of the vote for the EU Presidency, regional newspaper La Capitale listed ten reasons to hate Blighty to derail Tony Blair's bid for the job.

Other swipes made by the rag include slating our "warm beer which even the least gifted of our brewers would despair of".

They attacked us for driving on the left - claiming we want to do everything "differently" - and whined about England knocking Belgium out of the 1990 World Cup thanks to an extra-time winner from David Platt.

Continuing on the theme, the dullards say they haven't forgotten about our football hooligans.



Water joke ... Stella ArtoisAnd the paper even slates the English language.

While they grudgingly admit English is the universal language of business, they think we refuse to speak theirs if we get lost in Brussels, Liege or Charleroi.

To round off the attack, they say Brits look down on anyone who mispronounces a word in English.

But the ill feeling is mutual - here we bring you ten reasons why Belgium is rubbish.

1. THE MANNEKEN PIS: Belgium's most famous tourist attraction, a bronze fountain in Brussels dating back to 1618, is a statue of a toddler having a wee. Next...

2. CHARLEROI: Voted The World's Ugliest City this year, the industrial hovel actually offers a tour of its grottiest sites. It takes in a slag heap and sprawling wasteland. Look out for an upcoming feature in Sun Travel.

3. THERE IS ONLY ONE FAMOUS BELGIAN: Have a guess. No? Nothing? OK, OK... it's the Muscles From Brussels himself - Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yep, their only famous person is a rubbish actor.


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4. THE EU HQ: Located in Brussels, we have the EU to thank for the banning of knobbly fruit and veg, the demise of pounds and ounces and ludicrous legal decisions because of the European Convention on Human Rights.

5. BRUSSELS SPROUTS: And they reckon our food is bad. Grown in the Brussels area for 400 years, the windy after-effects of this vile veg create more of a stink than the nearby EU HQ.

6. SPOILING STELLA ARTOIS: Belgians have ruined the best thing to come out of their country by watering it down from 5.2% alcohol to 5%. Watering down their lager, watering down our fun. Typical.

7. THEY ARE A JOKE: Even the humourless French have a laugh at Belgians. Their "les histoires Belges" gags about their dull neighbours are a bit like our "Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman" jokes.



Wee boy ... the Manneken Pis8. BELGIAN CONGO: Under the control of Belgium's ruthless King Leopold II, the Congo Free State became infamous for the brutal enslavement of locals when it was exposed by a British report in 1904.

9. STRAIGHT ROADS: They have suspiciously few curves on their long, tedious roads. To make matters worse, they drive on the right, which is of course the wrong side.

10. MUSKRATS: Amazingly, these water-dwelling giant rats are eaten in Belgium. Another example of wonderful Belgian cuisine.

P.S. We secretly want Belgian PM Herman Van Rompuy for EU President. Just think of the headlines we could create with a name like that...



from the sun
 
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PregnantForTheLastTime

Hideous trait.
Re: BRITAIN has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says BELGI

"England, my country, the home of the free. Such miserable weather! But England's as happy as England can be... why cry?"

Guess you failed to please their press... :lbf:
 

Skinner

RIP The Rev
Re: BRITAIN has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says BELGI

I would say lucky not lazy. As in they are lucky to live there.

As for the food being bad, I'm going to have to go ahead and agree wih that. The chocolate is good. Everything else I ate while I was there...not so much. Just saying :blushing:
 

JeanneDarc

Senior Member
Re: BRITAIN has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says BELGI

They should look at themselves for a change. Last weekend I went to Brussels and the rivalry between the French speaking part and Dutch speaking part is so childish it's stupid.
 

EPbabe

Active Member
Re: Bitain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgia

:lbf: Britain has terrible weather?
 

MindlessRuffian

Señor Member
Re: Bitain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgia

I thought this "President of Europe" talk was a joke. Like, "King of the World".

Give me a break, I study Latin America.
 

Jukebox Jury

Retired
Re: Bitain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgia

Belgians - who do nothing all day but going around sticking their fingers in dykes:eek::thumb::lbf:

Jukebox Jury
 

MindlessRuffian

Señor Member
Re: Bitain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgia

Heh, me too, at first anyway. The choice of words makes it sound a bit :crazy:.

I mean...the first time I heard it, it did happen to be 3AM...

But I got this weird 5 minute delusion. I thought that in the past week that I haven't seen the news, all European nations formed a supernation. I was frightened for like 3 minutes, realized I'm an idiot, then went to bed.

(I also sat in the dark for 15 minutes thinking I traveled back in time at the end of October. No one told me Daylight Savings Time was happening. Fall back! I thought I'd traveled back in time an hour and was wondering to myself: a) did I accidentally make a time machine? b) if I can go back an hour, can I go back farther? and c) what if I like...have a Harry Potter time turner moment and accidentally kill my future self?!)

....I'm an idiot at 3AM :D
 

Anker Ignis Fatuus Von K.

Fumbling politeness
Re: Bitain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgia

Belgium - The country in which good chocolate is only produced to lure children with it...
 

PUNKturedBIKE

Lovely Riah
Re: Bitain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgia

Urrgh, The Sun.

People only became interested in this bureaucratic non-sense due to the media escalating the 'Blair for EU President' story. It's a paper pushing job, I hope Rompuy is as dull as he looks and he'll enjoy it.

In other news: it's raining outside, i'm going to eat fish and chips and then if i can be arsed, i'll go and get drunk.
 

This charming man.

Throbbing member.
Re: Bitain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgia

The Dutch and Belgians made some good techno tunes. 20 years old. LOL WUT!

[youtube]PQfKFwa-jEY&feature=related[/youtube]

 
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Qvist

Well-Known Member
Re: Bitain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgia

Hah, you're not getting any sympathy from me over this, which is just the kind of thing the English are world champions in. What goes around comes around. :)

A couple of good moments come to mind here:

Monty Python's legendary Prejudice TV Show sketch, featuring the viewer's contest "Find a derogatory term for the Belgians"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19fcN3VaXs4


and Dylan Moran's go at Germany:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoLIU2NI66w

Dammit, could someone tell me how you embed the youtube thingies?

cheers
 
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Qvist

Well-Known Member
Re: Britain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgi

3. THERE IS ONLY ONE FAMOUS BELGIAN: Have a guess. No? Nothing? OK, OK... it's the Muscles From Brussels himself - Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yep, their only famous person is a rubbish actor.

Huh, even I can do better than that, off the top of my head. Georges Simenon. Jan Ceulemans. Enzo Scifo. James Ensor. Maurice Maeterlinck. That cyclist during the fifties. And Jacques Brel, for crying out loud. For good measure, I'm going to count Poirot as well. :)

5. BRUSSELS SPROUTS: And they reckon our food is bad.

Ha ha, no no, don't even think about going there. Belgian cuisine is superb. Brussels is considered the second restaurant city of the world, after Paris. Much as I like English food (I do, actually), for an englishman to hint at shortcomings in Belgian cuisine is as credible as a Bedouin making fun of Norwegian ski prowess. There's only so far you can bend things. :)

cheers
 

Our Lady

New Member
Re: Britain has terrible weather, horrible food and is full of lazy drunks says Belgi

Félicien Rops? Magritte? Rodenbach? Belgians either gave birth to or perfected nearly all noteworthy art movements from the last four centuries.

Britain is silly, to say the least.
 
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Kewpie

Member
Moderator
Subscriber
hmmmm

Van Gogh? Magritte? Rodenbach? Belgians either gave birth to or perfected nearly all noteworthy art movements from the last four centuries.

Britain is silly, to say the least.


Van Gogh is Dutch, not Belgian.
 

Our Lady

New Member
Re: hmmmm

Van Gogh is Dutch, not Belgian.

Since you're such a stickler for perfection, I've replaced him with Félicien Rops.

And that shoud be 'was', he was Dutch.
 
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