Blender Magazine rates the 50 worst bands of all time

[Weiß]

The first question is "Who the f*ck is 'Blender', and why should we give a f*ck what they think?"

Alternately: Blender? I hardly know her.

Read 'em and weep:

(From a second-hand source, so I don't know if it is 100% accurate):

50 - Iron Butterfly
49 - Toad The Wet Sprocket
48 - Master P
47 - Goo Goo Dolls
46 - The Spin Doctors
45 - Gipsy Kings
44 - Manowar
43 - Mike & The Mechanics
42 - Rick Wakeman
41 - Whitesnake
40 - Blind Melon
39 - Bob Geldof
38 - Nelson
37 - The Doors
36 - 98 Degrees
35 - Paul Oakenfold
34 - Live
33 - Japan
32 - The Hooters
31 - Arrested Development
30 - Richard Marx
29 - Skinny Puppy
28 - Crash Test Dummies
27 - Color Me Badd
26 - Celene Dion
25 - Jamiroquai
24 - Bad English
23 - Creed
22 - Primus
21 - The Alan Parsons Project
20 - Howard Jones
19 - Dan Fogelberg
18 - Pat Boone
17 - Benzino
16 - Oingo Boingo
15 - Yanni
14 - Yngwie Malmsteen
13 - Mick Jagger (solo)
12 - Tin Machine
11 - Latoya Jackson
10 - Air Supply
9 - Lee Greenwood
8 - Vanilla Ice
7 - Asia
6 - Kansas
5 - Starship
4 - Kenny G
3 - Michael Bolton
2 - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
1 - Insane Clown Posse

I'd agree with many as being bad. Can't stand Creed, Starship, Kansas, Lee Greenwood, Air Supply, ELP, Fogelberg, and that f*cking Paul Oakenfold song with that little b!tch shifty shellshock makes my eyes bleed. How do you rank rank? I actually like some of them. Well, I don't often turn the channel on some. Tin Machine was pretty good. Skinny Puppy served a need. How could you change the channel on Still of the Night?

What say you, Friends of Moz?

 

[Hallahook]

My God!! Iron butterfly and Blind Melon......*dead faint*

 

[Mr.Improper PIMP of all info.....]

Actually,most of that list is right on. Though I do think that oingo boingo is kinda dope. Howard jones had some big hits in the day,so he's ok. I saw that guy in concert about 12 years ago,he was ok. The rest of the groups on that list: suck!!!!! Blender is just another way for the mens mag MAXIM to make money. I do remember about a year or so ago,they had a little pic of morrissey in their mag and poked fun at him,which im still pissed at them for by the way. They said he was very"dopey and depressing" and "why would anyone still listen to him??" Sounds like they need to be issued a beating????

 

[Patrick McCann]

> What say you, Friends of Moz?

They won't be getting any arguments from me.
The ones I've heard fully deserve to be there. Would have been nice to see a few more pre-Punk self-indulgent twats. The 'look-at-me-playing-my-guitar-for-ten-minutes' mob.
Nice to see ELP and Rick Wakeman representing the organ knob-twiddling brigade (while the audience just stood there, like the dummies they were).
I'm sure their mums will be very proud.

No 1975 - 1980 Punk bands. Says it all really.

Aye, Punk Rock does indeed rule, y'know.

*gazes wistfully into the middle distance*.

 

[chill]

Is this supposed to be a list of the "top fifty bands who were critically acclaimed at one point or another but shouldn't have been" or the "top fifty bands who suck, but still probably wouldn't be put on a list like this by any other more sensible magazine" or "top fifty bands I hate so you should too"? Some of these bands are actually quite decent (although a lot of them genuinely suck). I wouldn't put them near the bottom of the list, especially when bands like Good Charlotte and Sum 41 exist. And I mean, if Celine Dion counts as a band, where the f*** are Britney Spears and Mandy Moore? At least Celine's got decent pipes. This list is a complete joke.

 

[Tingle]

Just wondering if Rick Wakeman is an organ-knob twiddler or and organ Knob-twiddler? Or even a Knob organ-twiddler. You pays your money etc.....

> They won't be getting any arguments from me.
> The ones I've heard fully deserve to be there. Would have been nice to see
> a few more pre-Punk self-indulgent twats. The
> 'look-at-me-playing-my-guitar-for-ten-minutes' mob.
> Nice to see ELP and Rick Wakeman representing the organ knob-twiddling
> brigade (while the audience just stood there, like the dummies they were).
> I'm sure their mums will be very proud.

> No 1975 - 1980 Punk bands. Says it all really.

> Aye, Punk Rock does indeed rule, y'know.

> *gazes wistfully into the middle distance*.

 

[GenderNectar]

Where's Our Lady Peace & Rush? *gags*

I agree with most of those.

> 47 - Goo Goo Dolls 40 - Blind Melon 29 - Skinny Puppy

 

[Hallahook]

Re: Where's Our Lady Peace & Rush? *gags*

> I agree with most of those.

Ah, nice to see you back on line, my dear.

 

[Hallahook]

Re: Where's Our Lady Peace & Rush? *gags*

> I agree with most of those.

I gotta admit though, as far as Canadian performers go, I have ultimate respect for Neil Young. Ever read his book "Shakey"?
Thumbs up to this man and his ability to overcome Life's hardships, because he's had a shitload of them.

 

[Parly]

Ah, as always the triumphantly skilled reasoning of Chill rings true.

When I received this issue of Blender and flipped to the pages about the 50 worst I expected to see something bad. I admit a lot of those bands do indeed suck, but some genuinely crap acts were left out while some incredibly fantastic artists were thrown in.

I don't think the folks at Blender are all there in the head. They produce so many lists of this and that it must be too hard for them to use that brain cell they share and actually sit down and think of what properly belongs there. They don't know what in hell they're doing, they just form these half-assed lists to promote or knock people and likely base it on who wouldn't pay them to shed a flattering light on themselves.

These supposed "writers" at Blender suck, and deserve punishment. Severe, painful torture. Their eyes should be removed with hot spoons and their fingertips bitten off by starved goats while they're fully conscious. As they slip away, they should be packed in crates with Mosquitoes who are carrying the larvae of botflies, so that when they awake they find hundreds of creatures crawling under their mutinous skin, until finally they die from complications caused by severe and hilariously overexaggerated myiasis.

 

[Parly]

Re: Where's Our Lady Peace & Rush? *gags*

> I gotta admit though, as far as Canadian performers go, I have ultimate
> respect for Neil Young. Ever read his book "Shakey"?
> Thumbs up to this man and his ability to overcome Life's hardships,
> because he's had a shitload of them.

NEIL YOUNG!!!!!!!! *screams with glee and sings a Heart Of Gold-Helpless-Harvest Moon medley*

 

[Hallahook]

Re: Where's Our Lady Peace & Rush? *gags*

> NEIL YOUNG!!!!!!!! *screams with glee and sings a Heart Of
> Gold-Helpless-Harvest Moon medley*

I knew I liked you for a reason, Mr/Ms Parly.

 

[Parly]

Re: Where's Our Lady Peace & Rush? *gags*

> I knew I liked you for a reason, Mr/Ms Parly.

Aha.
The Neil Young Effect.
That's probably why half the people I know like me.
And therefore why I often hide my appreciation of him...

 

[A.K1976]

> The first question is "Who the f*ck is 'Blender', and why should we
> give a f*ck what they think?"

> Alternately: Blender? I hardly know her.

> Read 'em and weep:

> (From a second-hand source, so I don't know if it is 100% accurate):

> 50 - Iron Butterfly
> 49 - Toad The Wet Sprocket
> 48 - Master P
> 47 - Goo Goo Dolls
> 46 - The Spin Doctors
> 45 - Gipsy Kings
> 44 - Manowar
> 43 - Mike & The Mechanics
> 42 - Rick Wakeman
> 41 - Whitesnake
> 40 - Blind Melon
> 39 - Bob Geldof
> 38 - Nelson
> 37 - The Doors
> 36 - 98 Degrees
> 35 - Paul Oakenfold
> 34 - Live
> 33 - Japan
> 32 - The Hooters
> 31 - Arrested Development
> 30 - Richard Marx
> 29 - Skinny Puppy
> 28 - Crash Test Dummies
> 27 - Color Me Badd
> 26 - Celene Dion
> 25 - Jamiroquai
> 24 - Bad English
> 23 - Creed
> 22 - Primus
> 21 - The Alan Parsons Project
> 20 - Howard Jones
> 19 - Dan Fogelberg
> 18 - Pat Boone
> 17 - Benzino
> 16 - Oingo Boingo
> 15 - Yanni
> 14 - Yngwie Malmsteen
> 13 - Mick Jagger (solo)
> 12 - Tin Machine
> 11 - Latoya Jackson
> 10 - Air Supply
> 9 - Lee Greenwood
> 8 - Vanilla Ice
> 7 - Asia
> 6 - Kansas
> 5 - Starship
> 4 - Kenny G
> 3 - Michael Bolton
> 2 - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
> 1 - Insane Clown Posse

> I'd agree with many as being bad. Can't stand Creed, Starship, Kansas, Lee
> Greenwood, Air Supply, ELP, Fogelberg, and that f*cking Paul Oakenfold
> song with that little b!tch shifty shellshock makes my eyes bleed. How do
> you rank rank? I actually like some of them. Well, I don't often turn the
> channel on some. Tin Machine was pretty good. Skinny Puppy served a need.
> How could you change the channel on Still of the Night?

> What say you, Friends of Moz?

There is a lot of absolute crap in there, but surely there sgould be more teen trash in there such as Robbie Williams, any boy/girl band, Sum 41, Blink 182, and any Nu Metal.

Its a bit much having The Doors in there, I'm not into them, but thats a bit over the top to say the least. Also Japan did 3 wonderul albums, you just have to overlook their awful New Romantic image.

One of the worst bands of all time were Skrewdriver (Nazi Scum), absolute shite.

 

[Weiß]

Ooooo. Sorry luv. Wrong answer.

After all, Canada has to have *something* to offer besides cheekbones, doesn't it?

These lyrics aren't un-Smithslike, are they?

"Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone

Nowhere is the dreamer
Or the misfit so alone

Any escape might help to smooth
The unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe
The restless dreams of youth"
-Subdivisions, Signals (1982)

"Those who know what's best for us,
must rise and save us from ourselves."
-Witch Hunt, Moving Pictures (1981)

"There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance,
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance.
A planet of playthings,
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
"The stars aren't aligned -
Or the gods are malign"
Blame is better to give than receive.

You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that's clear-
I will choose Free Will."
-Freewill, Permanent Waves (1980)

 

[Patrick McCann]

> Ah, as always the triumphantly skilled reasoning of Chill rings true.

> When I received this issue of Blender and flipped to the pages about the
> 50 worst I expected to see something bad. I admit a lot of those bands do
> indeed suck, but some genuinely crap acts were left out while some
> incredibly fantastic artists were thrown in.

> I don't think the folks at Blender are all there in the head. They produce
> so many lists of this and that it must be too hard for them to use that
> brain cell they share and actually sit down and think of what properly
> belongs there. They don't know what in hell they're doing, they just form
> these half-assed lists to promote or knock people and likely base it on
> who wouldn't pay them to shed a flattering light on themselves.

> These supposed "writers" at Blender suck, and deserve
> punishment. Severe, painful torture. Their eyes should be removed with hot
> spoons and their fingertips bitten off by starved goats while they're
> fully conscious. As they slip away, they should be packed in crates with
> Mosquitoes who are carrying the larvae of botflies, so that when they
> awake they find hundreds of creatures crawling under their mutinous skin,
> until finally they die from complications caused by severe and hilariously
> overexaggerated myiasis.

Get off the fence, Parly. Do you like them or not?

 

[GenderNectar]

Nooooooo!!! Just when I was starting to love you.....

...you go and recite Rush lyrics. *sigh* OK. Perhaps their lyrics aren't bad, but I'd rather set myself on fire than listen to Geddy belt out a tune. My ears are bleeding at the thought.

P.S I swear Geddy made an appearance in the Tori audience Wednesday night. There was a guy a couple rows ahead of us that looked IDENTICAL to him! I tried to hit him with my shoe but missed.

 

[Erik]

Re: Where's Our Lady Peace & Rush? *gags*

> I agree with most of those.

They missed

Tori Amos
Depeche Mode

 

[GenderNectar]

P.S

Rush are from St. Catharines, Ontario. Guess where I'm from and live. Yep. The one and only. Please don't spread the word. I'm embarrassed enough already.

A friend of mine who lives in the U.S flew down to Toronto for the Rush convention last year. We met and I took him to Port Dalhousie which is where Lakeside Park is. The irony of the whole thing is that I had no idea that was the title of one of Rush's songs! Needless to say, he flipped out when we got there. I took him to the carosel, etc. Silly Rush fan.

 

[GenderNectar]

Re: Where's Our Lady Peace & Rush? *gags*

> They missed

> Tori Amos
> Depeche Mode

Poor Erik seems to be confused. We're discussing the WORST bands, not the best. Try and keep up.