Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intellectually Challenged

Update (May 29, 11:20 AM PT):

Bret posted a follow-up blog with mostly attacks on personal appearances of fans:

The Morrissey Solo Loony Forum: Chinese Whispers & Kleenex
Posted on Sunday May 29 18:31:00 BST 2011

* For those who actually care about factual details I am 41, not "50-something".


David Bret posted the link to his blog post on the Morrissey-solo Facebook page:

The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intellectually Challenged, But It Helps - David Bret's blog
Posted on Saturday May 28 18:38:00 BST 2011

Now let me get one thing straight. Not ALL Morrissey fans are fruit-loops. In my time I have met some very nice ones. Americans, Chinese, French, Australian, doctors, dentists, porn stars. I have even slept with a couple--and they certainly were not vegetarian!

However, the Morrissey Solo Forum has a breed of its own. Like all forums, it is made up of educationally challenged, faceless morons who, unable to cope with the real world and incapable of thinking for themselves, come up with nifty little names such as Not Me Not I, Viva Hate, Dave Jay, and Skylarker--the latter one feckless little bird who should try sky-diving, preferably without a parachute.

Bret made a reference--years ago--to a line from a song, "There are some bad people on the rise," the latter word of which had to be changed to "right" to deter some sort of controversy. For some reason, Skylarker has got his Tampax in a knot and taken great exception to this. First of all, I am deeply shocked that he has read my book (as did 120,000 others, making it sell better than the tome by the Moz-hated Johnny Rogan)--and what shocks me is that Skylarker CAN read.

To this sexless, retarded creature, I am the anti-Christ, the "f***tard", whatever that is supposed to mean. Like I say, the majority of Moz fans are A1 folk. Couldn't wish for a better bunch of people--most of them bright, intellectual, and unreliant of every single word which emits from their great man's mouth.

The forum fans don't eat meat, don't enjoy life much, dream of their idol constantly and masturbate a lot, even though they don't really like sex, and they try to emulate his witticisms.

Where they fail, on every count, is in their quest for normality. So, Mr Skylarker, when you are lambasting someone better than you as a "f***tard". just remember--it takes one to know one. And the next time you wrap your fingers around your digit and jerk away to "You're The One For Me, Fatty", just remember tomorrow will be just another day when you will be just another nobody.

And think about Morrissey, studying you from afar and sniggering--like myself--all the way to the bank.


Related forum post:
 
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Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

Separated at Birth?
 
eek. it's all a bit squeaky isn't it?

feeling sufficiently embarrassed mr brett?? and so you should boy.
 
It's entirely predictable that all the utterly idiotic so-slowers such as Uncle Sweaty, David T, Ghoul under his latest name, Skylark et al should queue up to attack Bret for speaking the truth.

Do these 'characters' seriously believe they are reasonable human beings? They are not. They are, in fact, utter fools. I presume this is why they spend most of their days on this website in some form or another. Res Ipsa Loquitur, as they say.

Bret's observation was a little unkindly delivered - I do not believe in such pejorative language, which seems to me a little prejudiced - but his broader point is quite valid; that is, that the people who inhabit this site are very dysfunctional souls for the most part - surely the main reason why the more functional Morrissey fans choose not to post here?

The forum on this site is an embarrassing joke. It's sad rather than malicious, of course. Anyone who arrives with anything approaching a little wit or intellect is subject to opprobrium, if not banned; and the tedium of Uncle Sweaty, Skylarr and Kewpie goes on apparently forever.

Frinking, squalid and rather puerile fantasies, sensual excitement over photographs of 1980s Smiths cassettes, self-loathing projected onto anyone with an iota of wit, vapid consumerism and tepid so-slow snobbery! Oh, that place has it all! And all thanks to wonderful David Tseng!

www.morrisseysworld.blogspot.com

watch them delete this post because it criticises them! Oh isn't freedom of speech a wonderful thing?
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

What would be really good is if Mr Bret came to this site, openly, and put his points to those he has detracted. In an open forum, where he can have his say, and others can too. Because Mr Bret posts his 'thoughts' on a site he controls, thus eliminating any response to his posts. Come on Mr Bret - you have forceful opinions, surely you don't mind them being discussed openly, do you? Or will you post another 'anti-this-site-and-its-denizens' piece on your own site without fear of comeback? Because that would be a little cowardly, wouldn't it? Go ahead and post here. That would be nice.

What I find most hilarious about Uncle Sweaty is that he delivers his angry bile (invariably focused entirely on the contents of this website, which appears to be his whole life) with such sincerity, one can almost see the spots of sweat welling up on his ruddy brow.

As I said before, a semi-intelligent person who really needs to rethink how he behaves. There is more to life than being a Morrissey solo moderator and getting angry and upset over criticisms relating to one's morrissey-solo useage!!
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

What I find most hilarious about Uncle Sweaty is that he delivers his angry bile (invariably focused entirely on the contents of this website, which appears to be his whole life) with such sincerity, one can almost see the spots of sweat welling up on his ruddy brow.

As I said before, a semi-intelligent person who really needs to rethink how he behaves. There is more to life than being a Morrissey solo moderator and getting angry and upset over criticisms relating to one's morrissey-solo useage!!

Most amusingly, Uncle Sweaty is the very plonker who regularly tries to getpeople 'banned' from the forum if he disagrees with them. This is the person criticising Bret for not allowing critical views on his own blog!

What happened to Uncle Sweaty? It's sad. I hope things improve for you.
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

What I find most hilarious about Uncle Sweaty is...

There is more to life than being a Morrissey solo moderator and getting angry and upset over criticisms relating to one's morrissey-solo useage!!

What I find most about hilarious about Paul is the fact that - even now, seemingly in his 50s - he still hasn't worked out there's more to life (for everyone else) than pretending to be your favourite pop star and getting angry and upset over everybody thinking you look like a complete tosspot.

Paul, you make me feel better about myself; keep it up!
 
That would be a very apt criticism, were I Paul. Thankfully, I am not.
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

self-loathing projected onto anyone with an iota of wit

Paul, I don't think anybody projects self-loathing onto you because you have only "an iota of wit" (unfortunate though that is); they think you loathe yourself because every time you dress up in your Morrissey outfit and try to sing like Morrissey and try to ape Morrissey's mannerisms, you announce to the world the degree of contempt you feel for yourself. Most people can settle for listening to the records.

Is it really true that even your neighbours laugh at you?
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

What I find most hilarious about Uncle Sweaty is that he delivers his angry bile (invariably focused entirely on the contents of this website, which appears to be his whole life) with such sincerity, one can almost see the spots of sweat welling up on his ruddy brow.

As I said before, a semi-intelligent person who really needs to rethink how he behaves. There is more to life than being a Morrissey solo moderator and getting angry and upset over criticisms relating to one's morrissey-solo useage!!

"usage"
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

Ok, Paul.

I was one of his leading critics on this site for years! The man is a hairy trout pouting amidst his kylie records!

But that's not the point!

When it comes to this website, there are some ghastly characters, some almost as bad as the aforementioned. The forum is a sordid hellhole of illiteracy, stupidity and projection of self-loathing to rival a Stone Roses concert, and I quite liked the Roses. Honestly there are people on this site, and particularly on the forum, who really do need to think about getting some kind of life outside of morrissey-solo forum world!

Is it so difficult to believe that more than two people - David Bret and Paul - cannot bear the site of you all?

The typical person could not survive amid the childish ignorance that passes for adulthood on the forum for more than a couple of months. Quite honestly, I don't know how the likes of Uncle Sweaty, Kewpie and GoingHome manage to hold it together in there, but it means either that they are used to living among excrement and are no longer affected by the stench - or that they are remarkably resilient individuals. Either way, they deserve our sympathy as much as our pity.
 
I have moved on to more important questions like how will Jay Tando portray James Cromwell in the film about the famous actors life and are they related?


Urban the swede (not the vegetable but sometimes a fruit)
 
This Skylarker fellow is a bit sad. He's nothing more than Viva's little attack dog that he sends out after people he doesn't like. Get away while you can Skylarker, you don't know who the man pulling your strings really is.
 
Tseng, fyi, you look like you're in your late 30s, your actual age at most. Bret just had nothing else on you, which actually says a lot about how great you are!

M
 
from someone who uses his real name:

what a strange person, this David Bret. ican agree with his assessment of some on here, but why bother devoting 2 blog posts to it and linking the posts to Morrissey's facebook page (Moz hasa facebook page- ha). and how on earth can this douche possibly remember the names of the 3 fans he supposedly encountered while hanging out with "the Morrissey gang" years ago? something is wrong with this person.
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

I was one of his leading critics on this site for years! The man is a hairy trout pouting amidst his kylie records!

Well, in that case, much kudos to you!

But that's not the point!

When it comes to this website, there are some ghastly characters, some almost as bad as the aforementioned. The forum is a sordid hellhole of illiteracy, stupidity and projection of self-loathing to rival a Stone Roses concert, and I quite liked the Roses. Honestly there are people on this site, and particularly on the forum, who really do need to think about getting some kind of life outside of morrissey-solo forum world!

Is it so difficult to believe that more than two people - David Bret and Paul - cannot bear the site of you all?

The typical person could not survive amid the childish ignorance that passes for adulthood on the forum for more than a couple of months. Quite honestly, I don't know how the likes of Uncle Sweaty, Kewpie and GoingHome manage to hold it together in there, but it means either that they are used to living among excrement and are no longer affected by the stench - or that they are remarkably resilient individuals. Either way, they deserve our sympathy as much as our pity.

I'll agree that there are an awful lot of arseholes on this message board, so no, I don't think it unlikely that lots of people could dislike those that regularly post here. It seems perfectly reasonable to me. You just sounded a lot like Paul, that's all. Sorry if that offended you. I dare say you're probably an alright person in the real world, but all that stuff about people "who really do need to think about getting some kind of life outside of morrissey-solo forum world!" makes me think you're harbouring an awful lot of pent-up anger & bitterness about people who post on an internet forum, and that, if I'm being honest, isn't the sort of thing I'd associate with someone who has "some kind of life" beyond this site.

I didn't get the bit about The Stone Roses and self-loathing either.

Anyway, you take care.
 
It is funny that a man that made a life for himself by writing about the famous has a go at those same type of people as him who shares his obsession over a famous person. Bret has written about people he never met and assuming this and that and most of the time he's been guessing. Throwing stones in your own glass house isn't clever at all.
 
Re: Article: David Bret blog - "The Morrissey Solo Forum: You Don't Have To Be Intell

It is funny that a man that made a life for himself by writing about the famous has a go at those same type of people as him who shares his obsession over a famous person. Bret has written about people he never met and assuming this and that and most of the time he's been guessing. Throwing stones in your own glass house isn't clever at all.

Yeah, I think he's a dick.
 
The saddest thing I ever saw
was a tribute band
fronted by Paul the bore

Trying to sing
the crowd helps him out
in his own mind
he is the latest shout

He copied the moves
and he bought the same shirts
but when we hear him sing
it just fooking hurts


Urban in Sweden (Poet laureate and Nobel prize winner)
 

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