Anyone notice a lot of women go for 'bad boy' types?

I've noticed a lot that a lot of women seem to go for the 'bad boy' type rather than the nice quiet guy such as myself who lacks confidence. I know that women like confident men and the 'bad boy' types seem to have no shortage of confidence so maybe that is why women are attracted to them? I've also heard that women think they can fix 'bad boys' or that they find them 'challenging' and exciting'?

I've never had a girlfriend or been in a been in a relationship despite being a quiet and polite person who lacks confidence and when I was younger I use to naively think because I was quiet, polite and friendly person I would eventually attract the interest of someone. Now I realise how wrong I was and it's obvious to me now that 'nice guys finish last' and women are primarily attracted to confidence in men and sometimes it doesn't even matter to them whether the man is an idiot or not so long as he is confident.

I've got no wish to make a sweeping generalisation about women but based on what I've seen around me I've noticed that a disproportionate amount of women seem to go for the 'bad boys' types. Perhaps it's genetic and women are instinctively attracted to alpha males and women being attracted to the aggressive and dominant personality traits of a 'bad boy' is a by product of this?

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying all women are like this of course but you'd have to be blind if you didn't think there was truth in it and no one is going to change my mind that 'nice guys finish last'.
 
Are you sure that you're not overlooking the socially awkward girls who are around you as well? ;)
 
It's a bit of a clichee. People are not attracted to 'bad guys' or 'nice guys'. They're are attracted to people who have something attractive and special. Who, unfortunately, are usually bad guys making you believe that they're nice.
 
I've noticed a lot that a lot of women seem to go for the 'bad boy' type rather than the nice quiet guy such as myself who lacks confidence. I know that women like confident men and the 'bad boy' types seem to have no shortage of confidence so maybe that is why women are attracted to them? I've also heard that women think they can fix 'bad boys' or that they find them 'challenging' and exciting'?

I've never had a girlfriend or been in a been in a relationship despite being a quiet and polite person who lacks confidence and when I was younger I use to naively think because I was quiet, polite and friendly person I would eventually attract the interest of someone. Now I realise how wrong I was and it's obvious to me now that 'nice guys finish last' and women are primarily attracted to confidence in men and sometimes it doesn't even matter to them whether the man is an idiot or not so long as he is confident.

I've got no wish to make a sweeping generalisation about women but based on what I've seen around me I've noticed that a disproportionate amount of women seem to go for the 'bad boys' types. Perhaps it's genetic and women are instinctively attracted to alpha males and women being attracted to the aggressive and dominant personality traits of a 'bad boy' is a by product of this?

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying all women are like this of course but you'd have to be blind if you didn't think there was truth in it and no one is going to change my mind that 'nice guys finish last'.

Sorry for your social awkwardness when you were younger, I am a woman that is very shy also, although I believe I am pretty good at making others feel comfortable, some may say not. I guess I really don't have a reason to be , maybe you don't either?
 
Are you sure that you're not overlooking the socially awkward girls who are around you as well? ;)

No I'm not and I expected this response but in my experience even the socially awkward females are still predominately attracted to the 'bad boy' alpha males types the difference being that socially awkward females have more chance of having a relationship than socially awkward males because men are expected to make the first move and so our always competing for female attention so eventually even a socially awkward female might have be approached (particularly if she's good looking which isn't fair) while a socially awkward male is condemned to being single and alone.
 
Now that you have pin-pointed your inadequacies and realized that females want a strong, confident man, stop sobbing, grow yourself a pair of bollocks, stop writing what you already know, and ask a girl out!
Remember my friend, the worst that can happen is she says no.
If you have had no success being 'good', perhaps its time to try some 'bad'.
A lot of guys are inherently nice. They are 'hard wired' that way, and it is an admirable quality. However, admirable qualities will not keep you warm at night like the warmth of a woman.
Trust me. If you continue to keep on the path of, 'I refuse to lower myself by being, (or pretending to be) a "bad boy" and would rather be alone for the right reasons, than in company for the 'wrong' reasons, than that is precisely where you will end up.
Alone.

Good luck!
 
Now that you have pin-pointed your inadequacies and realized that females want a strong, confident man, stop sobbing, grow yourself a pair of bollocks, stop writing what you already know, and ask a girl out!
Remember my friend, the worst that can happen is she says no.
If you have had no success being 'good', perhaps its time to try some 'bad'.
A lot of guys are inherently nice. They are 'hard wired' that way, and it is an admirable quality. However, admirable qualities will not keep you warm at night like the warmth of a woman.
Trust me. If you continue to keep on the path of, 'I refuse to lower myself by being, (or pretending to be) a "bad boy" and would rather be alone for the right reasons, than in company for the 'wrong' reasons, than that is precisely where you will end up.
Alone.

Good luck!

I don't think it's right that women should want a 'strong' and 'confident' man it's very socially darwinistic in my opinion and proves to me that women choose their partners based on natural selection rather than any notion such as love and romance which surely doesn't exist as relationships are based on lust and then economic and social compatibility. Also even if I could 'pretend' to be a 'bad boy' which I can't I don't see why I should and it's a condemnation of women that they are attracted to 'bad boy' types rather than nice quiet guys like me.
 
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Always be yourself. Always. If that's not good enough for someone else than "f*** 'em." No person on the face of the Earth is worth play acting for. Don't waste time & energy on this bullshit. Just be yourself.
 
Always be yourself. Always. If that's not good enough for someone else than "f*** 'em." No person on the face of the Earth is worth play acting for. Don't waste time & energy on this bullshit. Just be yourself.

Agree completely all these notions that men have to compete for women by vying for their attention and trying to impress them is wrong and shows how absurd human interaction is. Women should accept quiet guys like myself for who we are and see past our lack of confidence but no women only seem to notice the confident and outgoing guys.
 
well, speaking as a former "bad boy" type :cool: and yes, it served me well in my youth :blushing:
but guess what?
its not so attractive on an aging man, downright creepy sometimes
however, yeah, there is one thing I will never forget from my former days, which is:
go for it
and even when you get shot down, don't let it get to you
also, you know what?
you make that first move too early, but act like a man about it
and sometimes they come around, has happened to me many a time
thankfully
so yeah, f*** being socially akward*, becuase really at this point I think it is giving a "bad name" to all of us mature men doing our best to be, well
agressive enough that a woman would feel like we are a "real man" but not so much of one that we are a brute
chin up buddy, if I can learn how to NOT treat women more bad than good**
then you can learn to talk to one! :thumb:
too much?
if so, I am sorry
my heart is in the right place
just reading this stuff reminds me how my life was changed many years ago by Smith's lyrics like:

And in the darkened underpass
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last
But then a strange fear gripped me and I
Just couldn't ask


-I just had an epiphany at some point when listening in junior high and ever since then
my dating life has been devoted to not being "that guy" :o


*=now if only I could translate this to social situations related to business, but I am still an idiot at that
hey man, we all have our faults
**=I still think most of us men are just in general shitty to women, including the more "passive ones" :rolleyes:
some of the mind games they put a women through should be a crime
 
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I don't think it's right that women should want a 'strong' and 'confident' man it's very socially darwinistic in my opinion and proves to me that women choose their partners based on natural selection rather than any notion such as love and romance which surely doesn't exist as relationships are based on lust and then economic and social compatibility. Also even if I could 'pretend' to be a 'bad boy' which I can't I don't see why I should and it's a condemnation of women that they are attracted to 'bad boy' types rather than nice quiet guys like me.

Look man, of course its, 'not right', maybe even not fair, but it is what it is, like it or not. No one is telling you to be something that you are not, but its clear that you need to make some adjustments. Again. Quiet, nice, guys who can articulate themselves, express genuine emotions, dress smartly, etc. etc. etc., are totally unappreciated and will surely be taken advantage of by "most" females, but you either take a shot at it, or sit at home alone indefinitely.
You can never win or lose, if you don't run the race.
 
Agree completely all these notions that men have to compete for women by vying for their attention and trying to impress them is wrong and shows how absurd human interaction is. Women should accept quiet guys like myself for who we are and see past our lack of confidence but no women only seem to notice the confident and outgoing guys.

I understand what you're saying and mostly agree with you. I've known a few women who prefer quiet & shy guys but most don't. I think you shouldn't try to focus on confidence so much. It's almost impossible to manufacture confidence anyway. I know this because I've tried a few times and it doesn't work. What is confidence, anyway? The older you get, the more you realize, that so-called confidence isn't all that impressive. The reality is confidence is as fleeting as the wind. The key for you to find a girlfriend is to find a common denominator with her and to just be yourself.

-You're here at Morrissey-Solo so I'm guessing you love Moz's music & the music of The Smiths as well. There seem to be quite a few single women here so you should post your picture in the Member's pic area. Also bounce around and get involved in the forums or threads or whatever they're called. Give this a try. Heck, the music of Morrissey & The Smiths is a great common denominator. If you like reading books then you can join a book club and meet a woman. Join a jogging club or some volunteer group. If you go to Church then go to the Singles get-togethers. Find a common denominator. Some women are sick of confidence & getting burned and would like to find a nice guy like you. Just be yourself. Don't try to fake confidence. f*** confidence. Good luck. I'm sure other folks probably have even better tips than this but I think this is a pretty good start.
 
They do! It's one of the reasons why the world is knackered, certain women i know spread them for the most uncooth, backward and brain-dead silverbacks in the jungle. And as for the kids.....forget it. Slaughter them at birth!
 
Alpha males? Wimps!

They've got nothin' on the psychopaths.

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Sociallyawkward, I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents...

The Bad Boy image - is just that - an image. If you strip them of their clothes and look beyond their handsome faces, you'll find lots of insecurities. The trouble is women have a hard time doing these things. And, you've got to remember most of these types of "relationships" hardly ever last very long. Unless she's got a bad girl image - in which case they're not in love with one another but completely absorbed with themselves - and the idea of their union. And you can bet they have other partners, too.

I can give you three examples (from my point of view): I post a lot of dribble here about Peter Doherty, Julian Casablancas, and James Dean. I'm going to use them as examples because we all know who they are...

Let's start with Peter: He's got that image and he's been in trouble with the law numerous times, it's true. He's got ALL of the physical traits I LOVE in a man: He's got big brown eyes. Dark hair. He's huge (6'2). I love the way he walks and I adore listening to him speak and sing. Voice is a big thing for me. Take away the cigarettes (PLEASE!) and the drugs - Voila! He's perfect. BUT...Let's also take away the cool way he dresses (I adore the modern Lord Byron look) - in fact, let's just strip him completely. You'd find the most vulnerable, insecure man in the world, I think. Sweet and Poetic. Probably really just a moma's boy...But, we all know he's quite a tragedy.

Julian Casablancas: Again, all the physical traits - perfect. I don't think he's hooked on drugs, but god, those ghastly cigarettes! Take them away! Physically perfect to my eye...The thing with Julian is that he's only got the image. It isn't hard, if you watch him closely, to see the class clown. Girls FLIP for this guy.

James Dean: Well...I should have a PhD in that subject. James Dean was thought to be a "rebel" because of the movie Rebel Without A Cause. He didn't take a lot of crap from producers and directors and wanted them to know that his time was just as valuable as theirs. Many have reported he was hard to work with, but, in the past, I've met quite a few people who knew Jimmy and worked with him. I've also met some old school mates and a few relatives of his. He was just a hayseed. Really. Strip him of the Hollywood, bad boy image and you've got a clean cut, quiet, sweet guy. Most definitely an intellectual.

On a personal level, the last guy I really fell in love with...Well, he was seen by many as a bad boy of sorts, I guess. But, he was terribly quiet and shy. He was an artist (could draw anything) and his knowledge in music was incredible. He had moments of insecurities, though he hid them quite well. Very hard shell to crack. He drove me crazy, but to this day there is a place in my heart that is devoted to him - and I guess there always will be.

So...it's just an image. Look at guys for who they are - not by what they look like or appear to be on the surface - and you'll see it's not as black and white as you make it out to be. :) All women want is to be loved and respected. To be adored for the small things she does (the things others look over), the natural ways she goes about her day and her life. Someone who'll accept her insecurities and fears. Find someone you're interested in, and start concentrating on those things - believe me, she'll love you for it.

It goes both ways. Men and Women are really very much alike. Keep that in mind.
 
I understand what you're saying and mostly agree with you. I've known a few women who prefer quiet & shy guys but most don't. I think you shouldn't try to focus on confidence so much. It's almost impossible to manufacture confidence anyway. I know this because I've tried a few times and it doesn't work. What is confidence, anyway? The older you get, the more you realize, that so-called confidence isn't all that impressive. The reality is confidence is as fleeting as the wind. The key for you to find a girlfriend is to find a common denominator with her and to just be yourself. -You're here at Morrissey-Solo so I'm guessing you love Moz's music & the music of The Smiths as well. There seem to be quite a few single women here so you should post your picture in the Member's pic area. Also bounce around and get involved in the forums or threads or whatever they're called. Give this a try. Heck, the music of Morrissey & The Smiths is a great common denominator. If you like reading books then you can join a book club and meet a woman. Join a jogging club or some volunteer group. If you go to Church then go to the Singles get-togethers. Find a common denominator. Some women are sick of confidence & getting burned and would like to find a nice guy like you. Just be yourself. Don't try to fake confidence. f*** confidence. Good luck. I'm sure other folks probably have even better tips than this but I think this is a pretty good start.

Well said. In fact, everything you said here is well said. :)
 
Don't over think and second guess everything. It's a simple life. Victims allow it to happen EVERY day, then complain when it all turns to shit. Move on, get a life ffs.
 
Sociallyawkward, I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents...

The Bad Boy image - is just that - an image. If you strip them of their clothes and look beyond their handsome faces, you'll find lots of insecurities. The trouble is women have a hard time doing these things. And, you've got to remember most of these types of "relationships" hardly ever last very long. Unless she's got a bad girl image - in which case they're not in love with one another but completely absorbed with themselves - and the idea of their union. And you can bet they have other partners, too.

I can give you three examples (from my point of view): I post a lot of dribble here about Peter Doherty, Julian Casablancas, and James Dean. I'm going to use them as examples because we all know who they are...

Let's start with Peter: He's got that image and he's been in trouble with the law numerous times, it's true. He's got ALL of the physical traits I LOVE in a man: He's got big brown eyes. Dark hair. He's huge (6'2). I love the way he walks and I adore listening to him speak and sing. Voice is a big thing for me. Take away the cigarettes (PLEASE!) and the drugs - Voila! He's perfect. BUT...Let's also take away the cool way he dresses (I adore the modern Lord Byron look) - in fact, let's just strip him completely. You'd find the most vulnerable, insecure man in the world, I think. Sweet and Poetic. Probably really just a moma's boy...But, we all know he's quite a tragedy.

Julian Casablancas: Again, all the physical traits - perfect. I don't think he's hooked on drugs, but god, those ghastly cigarettes! Take them away! Physically perfect to my eye...The thing with Julian is that he's only got the image. It isn't hard, if you watch him closely, to see the class clown. Girls FLIP for this guy.

James Dean: Well...I should have a PhD in that subject. James Dean was thought to be a "rebel" because of the movie Rebel Without A Cause. He didn't take a lot of crap from producers and directors and wanted them to know that his time was just as valuable as theirs. Many have reported he was hard to work with, but, in the past, I've met quite a few people who knew Jimmy and worked with him. I've also met some old school mates and a few relatives of his. He was just a hayseed. Really. Strip him of the Hollywood, bad boy image and you've got a clean cut, quiet, sweet guy. Most definitely an intellectual.

On a personal level, the last guy I really fell in love with...Well, he was seen by many as a bad boy of sorts, I guess. But, he was terribly quiet and shy. He was an artist (could draw anything) and his knowledge in music was incredible. He had moments of insecurities, though he hid them quite well. Very hard shell to crack. He drove me crazy, but to this day there is a place in my heart that is devoted to him - and I guess there always will be.

So...it's just an image. Look at guys for who they are - not by what they look like or appear to be on the surface - and you'll see it's not as black and white as you make it out to be. :) All women want is to be loved and respected. To be adored for the small things she does (the things others look over), the natural ways she goes about her day and her life. Someone who'll accept her insecurities and fears. Find someone you're interested in, and start concentrating on those things - believe me, she'll love you for it.

It goes both ways. Men and Women are really very much alike. Keep that in mind.

Honestly, socialllyawkwardguy, you really are a work of art, hard to comprehend, and .......I will be in LA this weekend, to have fun, if we never meet , we never meet, if we bump into each other I promise to be nice. Bye, A
 
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