(ahem)
they say a man should always dress for the job he wants
so why am i dressed up like a pirate in the restaurant
it's all because some hacker, stole my identity
now im in here every evning serving chowder and ice tea, should have gone to freeeeeee credit report dot com
i could have seen this coming at me like an atom bomb
they monitor your credit and send you email alerts,
so you dont end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts
or
While I'm shoppin' for a new car, which one's me?
A cool Convertible or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack,
Cuz' now I'm drivin' off a lot in a used Subcompact.
F-R-E-E that spells free,
Credit report dot com bay-be(baby).
Saw their ads on my T.V.
Thought about going, but was too lazy.
Now instead of lookin' fly n rollin' phat,
My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse's gettin' laughed at.
F-R-E-E that spells free,
Credit report dot com bay-be(baby).
and for some variety,
Well I married my dream girl.
But she didn't tell me her credit was bad.
so now instead of living in a pleasant suburb.
we're living in the basement at her mom and dads.
No we cant get a loan
for a respectable home.
Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card.
If we'd gone to free credit report dot com,
I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.
okay, goodnight.