a morrissey-hommage

Very nice, really very good. love to hear completed song get them lyrics done.
 
its nice, its like a medley musical journey through the smiths/moz. would love to hear some vocal tho to solidify it as a song.
 
ahem, this may sound rather ridiculous, but:
I try to find some decent lyrics to that song, and singer came up with a draft, which - of course - by now is rather simple and stupid, and since we're not native english-speakers (obviously), I wanted to ask some kind solo-readers and writers to help us.... so if anyone has a good idea, in the mood of the draft below (and maybe in same length-of-sentence).... I would be more than happy - thanks at all! of course I will post the finished result here.
(song is about a long-lost-love that the protagonist wishes back)


I want to hold you, I want to feel you
I want to be alone with you /
We're well acquainted, I want to belt it out
I set myself on fire /

When you go away, I dont know what to say,
i dont know how it ends /
Nothings forever, I know it better,
is it so wrong to be in love? (whispered: oh no) /

Refrain: No need to trust me, but scrap your save way
I dont want to be alone
Come back baby come back, come back baby please.... come back /

alternative refrain: And In the morning.
Im disenchanted, those dreams will never become true
Come back baby come back, come back baby please.... come back /

I may be dull and blind, my heart's too lost to find
And in the end we die /
Nothings forever,
I know it better
I want to be in love again
 
I really like your song, and the lyrics are good so far too.
 
thanks kenzie!

i just added different guitars, I think its a bit better now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOtmZTfk6lE

ill post here the finisehd version, thanks for all your interest, its easier to work hours over a new song if someones actually listening to it. tried to mix a bit of marr-guitar with libertines here, which doesnt work, of course

(although the distored guitars are too loud here, will be better in the finished-mix)
 
now finished (at least the music), so I thought, I put it here once more:
-> since the singer wasnt happy with his vocal delivery by now, I made a version with me singing....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vTeUlTmP0w

im not too happy though, cause

a) I cant sing
b) its too much "singing", and too little "direct conversation with the listener"

but c) I like the song itself very much

thanks, everyone,
cheers
 
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