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And yet, where were the parents?

3 Whyte 3 Nevin 2 Boorer (+1) 1 Street 1 Tobias A little surprising.

Cassette of Rank. I had no idea what to expect, but a record shop had gone bust and all its tapes were 50p. I can still remember listening to it for the first time.

In alphabetical not rank order: All You Need Is Me Dear God Please Help Me Hold On To Your Friends Life Is a Pigsty Pregnant For the Last Time Sing Your Life Spring-Healed Jim The Last of the Famous International Playboys The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get You're Gonna Need Someone On...

Sounds like you're caught in a trap.

If it works, then it's successful.

He sort of has.

If the Devil has all the best tunes, I really doubt Sam Smith is a Satanist. Popular though, and there's nothing wrong with dressing like Darth Vader doing a fart inside his suit.

Think all of this only makes sense if there's going to be legal action upstream. Otherwise Capitol would just put the thing out and take whatever money they can. Get your popcorn now.

The Smiths' debut album was re-recorded months after the first version was finished.

Take a leak anytime you need to. :p

I don't think he has. Getting the recordings back would probably mean handing back the money. As it is, he's got a pile of cash and Capitol have nothing.

Not totally convinced that everything Fiona writes should be put on the front page of Solo.

IMO Morrissey albums are never going to sell in huge quantities again. But they will do the same sort of sales regardless of how they are released. None of his recent albums have profited from ingenious hype and marketing.

There's a clock on the wall making fun of us all.

You're right, but I think it would be simpler for him to find a tiny record label that will do it for a very small cut and already has the distribution set up.

Dave Haslam rests his case.

I wonder if that's real or a hoax. OK, I don't wonder that, because it's obvious.

Nick Kent was attacked by Sid Vicious with a bike chain, inspiring the lyrics to Such a Little Thing.