I went to see John Shuttleworth in February on his "2000 And John" tour. 'Supporting' John, was Graham Fellows latest character creation "Brian Appleton", who was presenting the true history of Rock and Roll which you cannot read in any books currently available.

Brian is a rock musicologist and part-time lecturer in media studies, and is a man obsessed by the outrageous plagiarism he has suffered from over the years. His presentation (with slides!) explains his previously unknown KEY involvement in many major rock stars over the years (Rod Stewart, Phil Collins, Boy George, etc).

"Brain" has a section in his act where he reckons he has been ripped off by Morrissey and it's great!

Before "proving" the fact with a song, he says something like "My girlfriend was sick at the time, but I was feeling very ill too, and I wasn't getting any attention, so I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I wrote this before I'd even heard of The Smiths. I think Morrissey must have been outside my window listening in. It's only half an hour on the train from Manchester to Newcastle Under Lyme - he could have been passing my window and heard me singing this. The jury's still out, but listen..."

He then does a stunning 1983 Morrissey impression whilst playing Marr-esque acoustic guitar and sings his song "My Turn To Be Poorly"

Some of the lyrics are:

My turn to be infirm
Stop acting like a kid
It's me that's the invalid
Where's my anadin
You lazy harridan
(perfect Moz falsetto)
My turn to be poorly