After a thousand years of not remembering I have returned. I am in Wandsworth once more and slowly, but surely I'm becoming the craven idiot I always knew I would be.

You can shove your macho postering up your arse. Welcome to my world and enjoy the magic.

I was not put here to make sense.

Delighted.

This seems to be a week that goes on for ever. Will it never end?

I was watching an advert for a Stephen Fry programme about manic depression. He said that he didn't want to commit suicide but he wouldn't mind dying.

I think we've all been there.

Now this is uninteresting. A couple of weeks ago two of my friends started talking about my hands. I'd never really noticed but apparently my hands or rather my fingers are quite ugly. The middle finger on both hands bend away from the index finger. Personally I don't mind as these fingers have served me well on many occasions...

I'll leave that to your imagination.

Yesterday I worked for 14 hours. Yesterday I got up, ate, went to work, worked, came home and went to bed.

It was a perfect day.

Sometimes I feel like a machine. All I have to do is kill my emotions.

Which would not be a bad thing.

Seriously though... I know there is more to life than this.

I got a really good night's sleep last night. No really. I slept like a baby. Sometimes I'll take sleep over anything else. Fatigue is my enemy and I dislike it with a passion.

7-8 hours a night is awesome.

It also helps that I have the bed to myself. I'm not good at sharing.

The weekend was quite busy. Friday was a nothing event. Saturday was large sums of cash spent, hanging out with some good people and eating ad drinking some nice things.

Sunday was similar, but with adults.

I'm being funny...

To be honest though I felt my age. I'm getting on a bit now. Going to clubs and doing that sort of thing is not a productive use of my time.

Cheerio...

It's Monday and everything seems pretty good. Quins RL won't get relegated and I've decided to do my blog and this journal in tandem.

How could I ever leave you?

It didn't do that much over the weekend. I spent most of Saturday asleep. On Sunday I watched rugby league. There you go.

It's going to be another busy week at work but that's good. It'll keep me out of trouble. Not that I ever get into any trouble. Not real trouble.

Anyway...

I feel like a bit of a fraud. What I write here has very little to do with Morrissey. I'm mulling over the idea of abandoning my journal and putting my efforts into my blog. I haven't made a decision yet. Needless to say that if I decide to go with the blog I'll post the address here.

Mother's on the mend by the way.

Hello. This is my last entry before the weekend. I'm going to see my folks. My mother's in hospital. She's quite unwell but she should recover.

I'm actually looking forward to the 4 hour journey to see them. It gets me out of London anyway.

My mother's illness has made me reasses a few things. I'm very much like her. She's the one member of my family I felt most connected to. What has struck her could strike me too. I realise that I have been right about quite a few things but I've been persuaded around by others to ignore my instinct. I guess I should have more confidence in myself.

Other news...

Recently people have been confirming what I already know: I'm a bit of a loner. I look around and see that people are deperate to be with other people. I don't really understand that. I enjoy being with certain people but their numbers are few. Most of the time I enjoy my own company.

I don't see the point of being like everyone else. I believe that you should be yourself. You can still fit in and contribute without conforming. It's those who are different that make a difference.

I had this idea. I want to die alone and not be discovered for a few weeks. I want what's left to be carried out in buckets. I want to cause as much inconvenience as possible and quite literally leave my mark.

I don't know why but that idea made me smile. Whether it's true or not remains to be seen. It won't matter to me. I'll be dead.

But that won't happen for a very long time.

I'm not being funny but I just can't understand smoking. We all know that it's bad for your health. We all know that a packet costs far to much. We all know that it makes you smell. So why do it. What possibly can it achieve?

I'm all for banning smoking in public places. Why should I and the majority have the air around us polluted by the selfishness of others? Why should we have our health put at risk? If you want to smoke do it in private, in your own home, away from normal people who don't want to kill themselves.

I couldn't think of anything else to write about today.

I've realised that my sore throat could be caused by my duvet cover. You see I haven't used this duvet cover for a while and it's been in storage. I didn't wash it and my sore throats started after I change my bed linen. So I guess it's pretty obvious. Unfortunately by the time I realised this it was passed midnight and my I could get to my other bed linen. The airing cupboard's in my flatmate's room and he'd passed out long ago.

Let this be a lesson to you all.