I feel snowed-in emotionally and physically. I know this is a time when I must try to reach out, yet I feel myself rebuilding a wall around me.

I feel desperately sad and lost. I want answers that I fear I may never have.

I don't want to be social now, yet I know I must do all I can to avoid isolating myself.

I am contacting a group called Survivors. Will someone there cradle my tears and help me frame this horrible tragedy?

The memorial was beautiful. What else can I say, but that it was so wrong to have to go to my brother's funeral. I picked-out two songs that were played: Jeff's favorite "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" and one of our favorites when we were teens, "Thank You" by Led Zeppelin. It was Jeff and Deanna's song.

It still seems like one big fog.