Overestimator

By realitybites · Jan 21, 2019 · ·
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  1. I am an overestimator of people. Time and time again I give them far too much credit and place way too much confidence in their integrity, honesty, intelligence and talent. I suppose because I see the glass half-full that I am susceptible to this chronic overestimation. Not only do I give people the benefit of the doubt, I actually esteem them higher than they deserve. It’s like I'm on a Kool-Aid diet when I first meet people; but then I get to know them for who they truly are and my sugary elixir is suddenly taken away and I am left disappointed and disillusioned... and a bit sour. I thought them way too precious. It’s not their fault that they are flawed and dumber than I thought.

    I have a gift for making people feel really good when they first cross paths with me. Because I put them on a pedestal. This makes them feel special and important. And they are… but not nearly as wonderful as I estimated them to be in the beginning. Once my perspective changes, I see them for who they really are: fairly plain, fairly normal, fairly boring and fairly average.

    And when they too realize that I am now seeing their true selves—flaws and mediocrity and awkwardness—they fall back to ground level or perhaps even lower, sinking deeper than they were before they were overestimated by this overestimator.

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  1. Light Housework
    I've been gullible too, because it's fun, until the shit hits the fan.
      realitybites likes this.
  2. realitybites
    @Violeta Love this: "The stained glass image of them usually cracks once I see that they have no integrity or values. I get tricked into a false sense of security thinking that the person I am opening up to and sharing things with is supportive and mature, but then I come to see who they really are, which is actually a backstabbing, sanctimonious jerk."

    Leaves one feeling betrayed and even questioning one's judgement. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off being the opposite: hyper-critical. At least then I may be pleasantly surprised by how I underestimated someone. So glad to have a core of family members that meet and exceed my expectations time and time again. Wonder if they'd say the same about me.
      Light Housework and Violeta like this.
  3. Violeta
    I can relate. This usually happens to me in certain professional environments. I'd like to paraphrase you and say that it's not *my* fault that they are flawed and dumber than I thought. The stained glass image of them usually cracks once I see that they have no integrity or values. I get tricked into a false sense of security thinking that the person I am opening up to and sharing things with is supportive and mature, but then I come to see who they really are, which is actually a backstabbing, sanctimonious jerk. Not the unique person I thought was a friend, but just another vapid and ordinary person to avoid. I'm rambling here, but your timing is excellent. It's been a strange week.
      Light Housework and realitybites like this.