Nonchalant in Arizona

  1. A man posted this in the POF forums...

    It inspired me to write this...

    Very insightful. I am new to POF and already I am running into some stumbling blocks. I do want to meet people and am hopeful that I can even meet one special person that I can really connect with—on a cerebral level. But that is the problem right there. Most men who have messaged me are extroverts. Want to meet right away and DO SOMETHING. Being an introvert, I don't want to go do something—right away. I want to take it slow. See if there is some intellectual chemistry there. Because if not, frankly, it won't work for me—no matter how good he is in the sack. I need my mind to be stimulated as well as my bod. I want an intellectual equal, not just a spooning partner.

    I wonder if this is not the medium for me at times—because of the reasons you mentioned in your post. But then I remember it is EXACTLY my medium. The written word is where I shine. Online connecting is something I am good at. It is the in person stuff that has me feeling anxious. Not because I am shy but because I am sharing space. In-person intimacy is a different animal. I enjoy being alone too much for my own good. I just don't have the urge to merge like I did when my hormones were compelling me to get out there and get some. (Sorry to be so crude.) As I get older, I care less and less. I don't mind growing old alone. It isn't something I dread or fear at all. Sounds kind of peaceful, actually.

    I have 'introverted' listed in my profile. With the qualifier 'very', no less. Am I putting off men who steer clear of introverts? I don't think so. Because honestly, 9/10 of the men who have contacted me couldn't define introvert to save their lives. Sorry, but it is true.

    So this is my predicament. I guess I could just keep receiving and responding to messages. Or send a few out as well. Maybe one day some introverted, yet assertive, cutie will send me a message and we will click. In the meantime, no worries, no hurries. I'll continue to walk alone and that is OK by me.


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