Hilariously Depressing Smiths Lyrics ~ Part I

By realitybites · Aug 19, 2013 ·
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  1. I love twisted things... things that are dark and dramatic and depressing yet humorous as well. When it comes to music, nobody, I mean NOBODY, writes depressing lyrics that are so belly-laughing funny, like Morrissey does. This is his greatest charm... attraction... what makes me love his music so much.

    I will listen to each Smiths album in its entirety, including the B-sides off the singles, and decide what I think is a hoot--in my current frame of mind. It is interesting how our take on a song changes with the seasons. We may not have found certain things funny ten years ago... such as growing old, until we can relate to it ourselves, perhaps. Of course, there are universals that will be hilarious forever... no matter what station in life we find ourselves. But I am relistening and reevaluating so that this project has an active, current, living feel about it. I will attempt to listen to at least one album a day.

    Moz solo albums Part I, Part II

    I will listen to the Smiths albums in chronological order. (Moz ones were listened to in reverse chronological order.)

    Part I is The Smiths - Meat is Murder. Part II is The Queen is Dead - Strangeways, Here We Come.

    This is going to be fun, as I absolutely adore every Smiths song. I really do. A strange misconception about Moz's lyrics, embraced by those who are not in the know, is that they make one feel depressed. Just the opposite. They make me feel happy. The humor, the irony, the tongue-in cheek witty lines, informs the listener that Moz is aware that all his self-depredation, complaining, and whining, is absurd. He's laughing at himself and all of life's complexities, and wants us to laugh with him, at him, and at ourselves as well. It's one big pity party and we are all participants. And because we are in on the joke, this makes us feel special and important and clever. And different, in a good way.


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    The Smiths ~ August 19, 2013


    Reel Around the Fountain

    This hypersexual song has some of my favorite lyrics...

    Slap me on the patio
    I'll take it now
    Oh...

    Fifteen minutes with you
    Well, I wouldn't say no
    Oh, people said that you were virtually dead
    And they were so wrong

    Oh, people said that you were easily led
    And they were half-right

    I dreamt about you last night
    And I fell out of bed twice
    You can pin and mount me like a butterfly



    You've Got Everything Now

    No, I've never had a job
    Because I've never wanted one

    You are your mother's only son
    And you're a desperate one
    Oh ...

    But I don't want a lover
    I just want to be seen ... oh ... in the back of your car



    Miserable Lie

    So, goodbye
    Please stay with your own kind
    And I'll stay with mine

    There's something against us
    It's not time


    I look at yours, you laugh at mine
    And "love" is just a miserable lie


    And in that voice...

    I need advice, I need advice
    I need advice, I need advice
    Nobody ever looks at me twice
    Nobody ever looks at me twice



    Pretty Girls Make Graves

    "There is a quick and easy way" you say
    Before you illustrate
    I'd rather state:
    "I'm not the man you think I am
    I'm not the man you think I am"

    I could have been wild and I could have
    Been free
    But Nature played this trick on me

    She wants it Now
    And she will not wait
    But she's too rough
    And I'm too delicate

    Then, on the sand
    Another man, he takes her hand
    A smile lights up her stupid face
    (and well, it would)

    I lost my faith in Womanhood



    This Charming Man

    A punctured bicycle
    On a hillside desolate
    Will nature make a man of me yet?


    Why pamper life's complexity
    When the leather runs smooth
    On the passenger seat

    I would go out tonight
    But I haven't got a stitch to wear



    Still Ill

    I decree today that life
    Is simply taking and not giving
    England is mine - it owes me a living

    Does the body rule the mind
    Or does the mind rule the body?
    I donĀ“t know...

    And if you must, go to work - tomorrow
    Well, if I were you I wouldn't bother
    For there are brighter sides to life
    And I should know, because I've seen them
    But not very often ...



    Hand in Glove

    And if the people stare
    Then the people stare
    Oh, I really don't know


    Yes, we may be hidden by rags
    But we've something they'll never have

    For the good life is out there somewhere
    So stay on my arm, you little charmer


    What Difference Does It Make?

    The devil will find work for idle hands to do
    But now you make me feel so ashamed
    Because I've only got two hands
    Well, I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh

    But now you have gone
    And your prejudice won't keep you warm tonight



    Hatful of Hollow ~ August 20, 2013


    William it Was Really Nothing

    Oh, the rain falls hard on a humdrum town
    This town has dragged you down

    I don't dream about anyone - except myself !



    These Things Take Time

    And I know that I'm
    The most inept
    That ever stepped


    How Soon is Now?

    I am the son and the heir
    Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
    I am the son and heir
    Of the nothing in particular

    So you go and you stand on your own
    And you leave on your own
    And you go home
    And you cry and you want to die



    Handsome Devil


    There's more to life than books, you know
    But not much more



    Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now


    One of my fave Smiths songs. The whole song is hilarious.

    I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
    But heaven knows I'm miserable now

    I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
    And heaven knows I'm miserable now

    In my life
    Why do I give valuable time
    To people who don't care if I live or die?

    Two lovers entwined pass me by
    And heaven knows I'm miserable now

    In my life
    Why do I smile
    At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye?



    This Night Has Opened My Eyes

    One of the Smiths more somber songs, both lyrically and musically.

    She could have been a poet or she could have been a fool


    Accept Yourself

    Others conquered love - but I ran
    I sat in my room and I drew up a plan
    But plans can fall through as so often they do
    And time is against me now



    Girl Afraid

    Boy afraid
    Prudence never pays




    Meat is Murder ~ August 20, 2013

    This album is a masterpiece, to say the least.

    The Headmaster Ritual

    Absolutely adore this song. That yodeling is priceless. The lyrics are the epitome of dark humor at its finest.

    Belligerent ghouls
    Run Manchester schools

    Spineless swines
    Cemented minds

    Sir leads the troops
    Jealous of youth
    Same old suit since 1962

    He does the military two-step
    Down the nape of my neck

    I wanna go home
    I don't wanna stay
    Give up education
    As a bad mistake

    Mid-week on the playing fields
    Sir thwacks you on the knees

    Knees you in the groin
    Elbow in the face
    Bruises bigger than dinner plates

    He does the military two-step
    Down the nape of my neck



    Rusholme Ruffians

    I might walk home alone...
    ...But my faith in love is still devout

    From a seat on a whirling waltzer
    Her skirt ascends for a watching eye
    It's a hideous trait (on her mother's side)

    So...scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen
    (This means you really love me)



    I Want the One I Can't Have

    On the day that your mentality
    Decides to try to catch up with your biology

    Cause I want the one I can't have
    And it's driving me mad

    And if you ever need self-validation
    Just meet me in the alley by the
    Railway station



    What She said

    What she said :
    "How come someone hasn't noticed
    That I'm dead
    And decided to bury me?

    What she said was sad
    But then, all the rejection she's had
    To pretend to be happy
    Could only be idiocy

    What she read
    All heady books
    She'd sit and prophesise
    (It took a tattooed boy from
    Birkenhead
    To really really open her eyes)

    What she said :
    "I smoke 'cos I'm hoping for an
    Early death
    AND I NEED TO CLING TO SOMETHING!"



    That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

    Time's tide will smother you

    It's too close to home
    And it's too near the bone



    Nowhere Fast

    I'd like to drop my trousers to the world
    I am a man of means (of slender means)
    Each household appliance
    Is like a new science in my town

    I'd like to drop my trousers to the Queen
    Every sensible child will know what this means

    And when I'm lying in my bed
    I think about life
    And I think about death
    And neither one particularly appeals to me



    Well I Wonder

    My favorite Smiths song.

    Well I wonder
    Do you hear me when you sleep?
    I hoarsely cry
    Why ...

    Well I wonder
    Do you see me when we pass?
    I half die ...
    Why ...

    Gasping - dying - but somehow still alive
    This is the final stand of all I am

    Please keep me in mind

    Well I wonder



    Barbarism Begins at Home

    Unruly girls
    Who will not settle down
    They must be taken in hand

    A crack on the head
    Is what you get for not asking
    Quando quando quando likes this.

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