The Morrissey Motion Picture (How Hollywood would ruin it)

his is how Hollywoodies would ruin it (like they ruin almost everything)

Title: Strangeways and the Beach

Pitch to the studios: It's like Angela's Ashes mixed in with Eddie and the Cruisers and a bit of the Matrix. (the matrix part will get them to bite)

Plot: The tale of an Irish boy (Hollywood types decide that British is too boring) struggling with an abusive dad, a lovelorn mom, a retarded sister in a poor town and how he grew up to be a rock star that is now elusive. (Imagine the action, the cliches and the special effects)

Morrissey's journey from abused boy to rock superstar and now a secret agent for America's Deep Blue team (that's the Matrix part) wile dealing with the troubling love triangle between Moz, Marr and Dana Linden (invented by the writers to appease the Christian Right in USA).

Director: Steven Spielberg (who else to bring out those overwarmed heartjerking stories)

Morrissey: Matt Damon (Nevermind he will speak in a Manchester accent from Ireland)

Marr: Ben Affleck (He'll have a bad Australian accent)

ANdy Rourke: Vince Vaughn (Looks nice as a setting)

Mike Joyce: Tim Meadows (We need a token black man and besides moviegoers wont really know who he is...screw The Smith fans)

Boz Boorer: Jude Law (Charismatic ladies man type)

Alain Whyte: Susan Sarandon (We need a woman and no one will know..screw the Moz fans)

Gaz: Bez of Black Grape and Happy Mondays (he wont do much, just dance and speak so it gives it a more Britishy feel)

Spike: Sting (the rock equvalent of Micheal Caine..besides John Lydon turned this down...wont he be sorry now)

Dana Linden (Morrissey's Girlfriend): Gwnyth Paltrow

Jake Rikki (we invented this guy, American manager..real gruff) Tom Arnold (and he will be the laugh angle..isn't it hilarious?)

Kate Moss: Drugged out groupie

Dolph Lundgren: Agent Fred Girraffe, the man responsible for the breakup of the SMiths.

Action! Drama! Torrid Love triangles!

Soundtrack by Wang Chung (they were good in To live and Die in L.A.)
with contribitions by
98 degrees "Girlfirend in a Coma"
Shonen Knife "Unhappy Birthday"

..we tried to get that groovy ian curtis but he wont return our calls, what gives?

Can you smell the money now? This will be a hit for us. It will be a classic. Americans love Irish/British..oh who gives..with their accents, it will be a classic.

BRAVO, greasetea!!

I'm choking on my Cheerios - this is fantastic!

champion!!

> his is how Hollywoodies would ruin it (like they ruin almost
> everything)

> Title: Strangeways and the Beach

> Pitch to the studios: It's like Angela's Ashes mixed in with
> Eddie and the Cruisers and a bit of the Matrix. (the matrix part
> will get them to bite)

> Plot: The tale of an Irish boy (Hollywood types decide that
> British is too boring) struggling with an abusive dad, a
> lovelorn mom, a retarded sister in a poor town and how he grew
> up to be a rock star that is now elusive. (Imagine the action,
> the cliches and the special effects)

> Morrissey's journey from abused boy to rock superstar and now a
> secret agent for America's Deep Blue team (that's the Matrix
> part) wile dealing with the troubling love triangle between Moz,
> Marr and Dana Linden (invented by the writers to appease the
> Christian Right in USA).

> Director: Steven Spielberg (who else to bring out those
> overwarmed heartjerking stories)

> Morrissey: Matt Damon (Nevermind he will speak in a Manchester
> accent from Ireland)

> Marr: Ben Affleck (He'll have a bad Australian accent)

> ANdy Rourke: Vince Vaughn (Looks nice as a setting)

> Mike Joyce: Tim Meadows (We need a token black man and besides
> moviegoers wont really know who he is...screw The Smith fans)

> Boz Boorer: Jude Law (Charismatic ladies man type)

> Alain Whyte: Susan Sarandon (We need a woman and no one will
> know..screw the Moz fans)

> Gaz: Bez of Black Grape and Happy Mondays (he wont do much, just
> dance and speak so it gives it a more Britishy feel)

> Spike: Sting (the rock equvalent of Micheal Caine..besides John
> Lydon turned this down...wont he be sorry now)

> Dana Linden (Morrissey's Girlfriend): Gwnyth Paltrow

> Jake Rikki (we invented this guy, American manager..real gruff)
> Tom Arnold (and he will be the laugh angle..isn't it hilarious?)

> Kate Moss: Drugged out groupie

> Dolph Lundgren: Agent Fred Girraffe, the man responsible for the
> breakup of the SMiths.

> Action! Drama! Torrid Love triangles!

> Soundtrack by Wang Chung (they were good in To live and Die in
> L.A.)
> with contribitions by
> 98 degrees "Girlfirend in a Coma"
> Shonen Knife "Unhappy Birthday"

> ..we tried to get that groovy ian curtis but he wont return our
> calls, what gives?

> Can you smell the money now? This will be a hit for us. It will
> be a classic. Americans love Irish/British..oh who gives..with
> their accents, it will be a classic.

great job!i especially liked dolph lundgren as fred giraffe-responsible for the breakup of the smiths.