Blogs

  1. this is what happens when you fall on ice and use your glasses and face to break your fall

    all stitched up now, but its so damn itchy and above is such a throbbing from a bump :squiffy: merry Christmas to me I guess :rolleyes: and yes, that's my 7 week beard usually I shave for Christmas but this year might let it slide til the New Year :o
  2. from lows to highs

    So yesterday were cleaning out this cabin and I started out my usual happy go lucky self when working and well, were not in the building a minute and I can just feel something is weird, but I just get the job done then I ask what’s the deal with the place. Every dwelling has a story, its an old picker cabin converted into a family house years ago. The last fam in it was an elderly couple and their middle aged son, the son died from pneumonia last winter, the mom died shortly after then the...
  3. what I like about my new job

    the money :cool: nah, that's not important, fact is often you do work and get nothing $ wise to show for it o_O thing is though, just this week, dealing with a bidding war, checking out an old abandoned dwelling, managing a team of people fixing a place up before winter really hits, coming up with a mass mailing list, talking on the phone with some people who are a real hoot :D handling advertising, and its all only Tuesday afternoon, the diversity, I love it :guitar:
  4. Chapter 4 More Suspicions

    Nan, I was told, had stood on a chair in the kitchen, to change a light bulb, and the chair collapsed underneath her, resulting in a broken hip, which led to her death. I wonder, if Deb set that 'accident' up. The timing of it was shortly after Nan had begun to pay me some positive attention. There's a pattern of fatalities following a positive interaction with a human or animal. A canary we had, Pete, used to sing beautifully for me, and would run after me on the floor with my socks off...
  5. Spaced...

    Maybe I feel like writing, I don't know.....peace comes in the evening, amid the glow of the lamps and a thoughtful gaze. Even if it's from miles away. There is no distance. Only love. Today we've had what feels like a tentative monsoon. Steady rain that thinks it wants to be dramatic, but only just dances on the surface. I'm ready for the deluge, it's cosy. It's the kind of atmosphere where you could just wrap yourself in velvet and listen to Sci-Fi Lullabies into the night...indeed.
  6. New home, new job

    changed so much in my life the last 2 weeks, still absorbing it all, making plenty of mistakes but recovering quickly, money never sleeps...
  7. Tea, chocolate, and space heaters...

    Ah, Brett Anderson, your memoir was too short, and beyond beautiful. What a gift for him to write Coal Black Mornings - I think I read it in only three days. He always felt so kindred, don't ask me to explain. It's just something that is felt. I wasn't feeling well yesterday, but I wafted about the used bookshop anyway, and although I didn't find what I was looking for, Orlando by Woolf leapt off the shelf at me, so I bought it, and it's the perfect thing for these chilly autumn nights....
  8. A familiar forest...

    The new flat is growing on me. "It's big for a studio!" / "It's small for a one bedroom!"... Tis somewhere inbetween... Five years ago, I moved across town to get away from it all. It wasn't really convenient to anything. Anything in the physical world, that is. Spiritually, it was just what I needed. As I went through the loss of my mother, my aunt, my grandmother, it became almost like a cocoon for me. A place to think and process everything, and ultimately, a place to hide. I did a lot...
  9. more photos :-(

    found even more old photos today. all of them are depressing. why? i can't really say. the past was never beautiful. it was never interesting. most of the people in these pictures have been dead for a long time, others are no longer a part of my life. do i miss them? not a bit. the question is: what does this past mean for me? i refuse to relate to it other than with nausea. i don't know what moulded you mould that's what i see when i look into your face you let yourself be a vessel for...
  10. I found a picture of you...

    I come here out of nostalgia amidst this rain and fog. Here I am, pining for the early 2000s when the blog page was called the journal page and there was a strong group of regular writers who would post daily about their lives, and it was always interesting. People weren't critical, judgemental, or fake. We were just ourselves. I miss that. You can travel the world and back without even leaving your house. Emotional landscapes are limitless. I can't fill these pages with everything...
  11. The List

    There is a waiting list to get an apartment in my community and that list just got shorter by one.
  12. slides

    went through 400 or so old family slides that i had found in my mother's attic. i hadnt been looking at them for many decades. late 60s to mid 80s all more or less carefully assorted into groups of slides belonging to one section of life as it once was taking place, like my parents' honeymoon in spain, x-mas at the grandparents, my england trip with a school mate, baby pics, pregnant mother pics, new years eve at the neighbors, the cat, etc. while looking at the slides one by one i noticed...
  13. Chapter 3 the staircase

    Another time I believe Deb, my adoptive sister, tried to off me, I remember I was descending the stairs to the basement, and I saw down below, Deb's bare beautifully tanned right shoulder, and her long luscious brown hair. She had her back to me and was standing in the doorway to where dad's work table and my little play room was, so that I could only see her shoulder and half of her back. I figured she might be reading one of her Nancy Drew murder mysteries. I continue on down the stairs,...
  14. Still I Cling

    I don`t remember the exact time I discovered this thing. This thing that made me feel better. This thing that brought me this strange form of relief. Even I know it`s a strange thing to do to yourself. It`s also weird that doing that to yourself takes you (temporarily) away from what`s going on in your head. It makes you feel better for a few moments. You think it helps you when in reality it hurts you. It leaves those ugly scars behind. Your wounds may heal but those scars will never fade....
  15. I guess that was chapter 1, so this will be chapter 2

    I spent a lot of time in the basement watching television in my first 8 years. The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Tarzan, cartoons, and old fashioned wrestling were mostly what I watched. I wanted to follow my older sister Deb around, but she wasn't having it. She hated me, I now realize. The only time I remember having anyone over, Steve, I went under the basement stairs where I had a pretend house, and I noticed that the lamp was strangely unplugged. So I wrapped my little hand round...
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