Blogs

  1. New home, new job

    changed so much in my life the last 2 weeks, still absorbing it all, making plenty of mistakes but recovering quickly, money never sleeps...
  2. Tea, chocolate, and space heaters...

    Ah, Brett Anderson, your memoir was too short, and beyond beautiful. What a gift for him to write Coal Black Mornings - I think I read it in only three days. He always felt so kindred, don't ask me to explain. It's just something that is felt. I wasn't feeling well yesterday, but I wafted about the used bookshop anyway, and although I didn't find what I was looking for, Orlando by Woolf leapt off the shelf at me, so I bought it, and it's the perfect thing for these chilly autumn nights....
  3. A familiar forest...

    The new flat is growing on me. "It's big for a studio!" / "It's small for a one bedroom!"... Tis somewhere inbetween... Five years ago, I moved across town to get away from it all. It wasn't really convenient to anything. Anything in the physical world, that is. Spiritually, it was just what I needed. As I went through the loss of my mother, my aunt, my grandmother, it became almost like a cocoon for me. A place to think and process everything, and ultimately, a place to hide. I did a lot...
  4. I found a picture of you...

    I come here out of nostalgia amidst this rain and fog. Here I am, pining for the early 2000s when the blog page was called the journal page and there was a strong group of regular writers who would post daily about their lives, and it was always interesting. People weren't critical, judgemental, or fake. We were just ourselves. I miss that. You can travel the world and back without even leaving your house. Emotional landscapes are limitless. I can't fill these pages with everything...
  5. The List

    There is a waiting list to get an apartment in my community and that list just got shorter by one.
  6. Chapter 3 the staircase

    Another time I believe Deb, my adoptive sister, tried to off me, I remember I was descending the stairs to the basement, and I saw down below, Deb's bare beautifully tanned right shoulder, and her long luscious brown hair. She had her back to me and was standing in the doorway to where dad's work table and my little play room was, so that I could only see her shoulder and half of her back. I figured she might be reading one of her Nancy Drew murder mysteries. I continue on down the stairs,...
  7. Still I Cling

    I don`t remember the exact time I discovered this thing. This thing that made me feel better. This thing that brought me this strange form of relief. Even I know it`s a strange thing to do to yourself. It`s also weird that doing that to yourself takes you (temporarily) away from what`s going on in your head. It makes you feel better for a few moments. You think it helps you when in reality it hurts you. It leaves those ugly scars behind. Your wounds may heal but those scars will never fade....
  8. I guess that was chapter 1, so this will be chapter 2

    I spent a lot of time in the basement watching television in my first 8 years. The Brady Bunch, The Partridge Family, Tarzan, cartoons, and old fashioned wrestling were mostly what I watched. I wanted to follow my older sister Deb around, but she wasn't having it. She hated me, I now realize. The only time I remember having anyone over, Steve, I went under the basement stairs where I had a pretend house, and I noticed that the lamp was strangely unplugged. So I wrapped my little hand round...
  9. Disorder

    I 've had trouble sleeping for a long time now. I have probably written before that I can`t sleep without the help of meds. I have racing thoughts and they seem to get worse at night. During the day there are distractions. Like errands I have to run and household things that need to get done. Nights I sit in my bedroom and watch TV. Nights are the worst for me because that`s when I feel the loneliest. It`s quieter at night but my thoughts grow louder at night. They go from very unwanted ,...
  10. I guess I can try

    I've been pondering writing about my life. I guess I would start at birth. I was adopted at 2 weeks old supposedly, in Montreal. I was told that the maternity ward that birthed me burned down along with all records. The people who adopted me weren't emotionally savvy. Under their naive noses their other adoptee would attempt to kill me by a variety of means, but she was thought of by our mother as the good child. She was four years older than I. I suspect our father sensed Deb was mean, but...
  11. The Little Prince

    "Life itself is only a vision, a dream." "Nothing exists save empty space and you" ~Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger, Chapter IX~ "...In antiphonal azure swing, souls drone their unfinished melody...when did we live and when did we not?" ~James Dean in a letter to Barbara Glenn~ Sing me to sleep...
  12. I've been there.

    I've been roofied. So I guess that's why I have such strong feelings about Cosby. It happened to me twice. I'm glad he's in jail now. His spokesman is trying to turn it into a race war. [URL]https://dailym.ai/2OO95tV[/URL]
  13. Get that thing away from me

    Approximately 5 days ago I started to not feel so hot. I assumed it was just nicotine withdrawals and just got some nicotine on Friday. This turned out to be a big mistake for what I actually had was the mother of all flus! I shall not go into details but let’s just say after soldiering on for days, something inside me just dissolved away. The pain hit me all at once, head, stomach, vomiting, diarrhea, runny nose, just the worst and all because of my wonderful little nephew, he’s adorable...
  14. Moz Solo Hall of Fame

    (Not including myself cuz that would be presumptuous) vicarinatutugal virtually dead chica realitybites nugz (Shit, didn’t mean for it to be all women) the more you explore me!/Cornelius blaze Uncleskinny Bored !Viva Hate! Buzzetta Jukebox Jury Kewpie troubleluvsme -I could go on, but 12 seems good, some people now that might rate someday of course...
  15. Breaking free one last time

    When push comes to shove, she’s with them against you :straightface: sooner you realize that, the better dude :o Got to get out of here and be free of all of these people, no exceptions... Update: Ok, so they could see I was pissed and they gave me the lowdown, which is good, cuz while I could just never speak to most of my fam ever again and it really be a blessing, fact is, I love my mom dearly, always will and I’d like to soak up as much of seeing her before I go off globetrotting...
Loading...