Blogs

  1. Moz Solo Hall of Fame

    (Not including myself cuz that would be presumptuous) vicarinatutugal virtually dead chica realitybites nugz (Shit, didn’t mean for it to be all women) the more you explore me!/Cornelius blaze Uncleskinny Bored !Viva Hate! Buzzetta Jukebox Jury Kewpie troubleluvsme -I could go on, but 12 seems good, some people now that might rate someday of course...
  2. Breaking free one last time

    When push comes to shove, she’s with them against you :straightface: sooner you realize that, the better dude :o Got to get out of here and be free of all of these people, no exceptions... Update: Ok, so they could see I was pissed and they gave me the lowdown, which is good, cuz while I could just never speak to most of my fam ever again and it really be a blessing, fact is, I love my mom dearly, always will and I’d like to soak up as much of seeing her before I go off globetrotting...
  3. The Scars Still Linger

    It`s been a few years now since I last self injured. I still wear the marks it left. The scars are still there reminding me of what I did to myself. All the time I dragged the razor or scissors or a jagged piece of broken glass across my arm or the times I used cigarette lighters to burn myself. Sometimes I can`t believe what I`ve done to myself and I am disgusted by what I see when I look at my scars. Other times I miss the relief it used to bring. That moment when I could breathe again. I...
  4. Loss

    My step dad died 415 days ago, he was only 67, set to retire at the end of last year, missed that by half a year, oh the cruel irony of that, tireless worker his whole life, one of those things that makes one certain there is no god or if so, what a total dick this supposed deity is & so yeah, his death, my step dad, it still hits me hard sometimes, like today weirdly I guess. Its my mom’s birthday and normally I’d have been helping him figure out what to get for her before today because...
  5. Believe it or not

    one can serve ones country, with distinction even, find they’ve discovered something they’re actually quite good at it and walk away, cuz to kill for lies and evil old men is simply not worth the vain glory of it all, the death and destruction is something someone like me can get use to really, but the injustice of it all was just too much, killing people that don’t deserve it is a weight like no other really and while life post army has been hard, never really fit in anywheres, I don’t...
  6. Statute Of Limitations Has Surely Expired On This

    Just wanted it to be finally known that I was the person who perpetrated the 2001 "Striptease With A Difference" hoax referenced here, here, and here. I mixed my own moos with the generic striptease song and then appended that to a snippet of a studio-release version of a Durutti Column song from the same time period as Viva Hate. Here's a link to the raw and mixed "moo" files. Back when this was done, my friend and I believed that if a fake version were released, it might prompt someone...
  7. Must see film

    Can’t rate this film I’m too close to it in watching and in my deeply catholic upbringing, but it’s an important film, it will stand the test of time, warning though, it builds slowly and is filled with religious allegory that you might miss, but for me? It’s a masterpiece...
  8. Coming to terms with the inevitable now

    Last year the Dodgers were one win from winning it all after 29 years and not gonna lie, it hurt a lot, I sat there watching it alone, all who I’d watch them with we’re dead and buried or gone from my life, and well, this year they are good, but far from great, just too many missing pieces, sure, they could still make the post season again but they aren’t special, best to comes with it now, before October, a hard enough month for me as is, best start mourning another season ending in...
  9. Sleeping in Seattle

    Tomorrow morning I am flying to Seattle with my mom! This will be our first trip there. Both of of have traveled extensively throughout the US but never farther northwest of California. We are home. Here is the link to my Seattle Pics: [URL]https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2013636902003444.1073741828.100000714625640&type=1&l=904e74531a[/URL] The trip was wonderful. We ate the best oysters, mussels, cherries, crab, and omakase I have ever had. The weather was perfect--sunny for six of the...
  10. No one

    A normal day. It is late afternoon and I am getting my workout in. The music is blaring and I am pumped. I feel very strong. In between benchpress sets, John Denver's song, "No One" comes on. Maybe one of the saddest songs I know. The songs ending verse is belted out in a desperate and urgent plea. I am stunned into a tearful reminiscence on the bench. Oh, my young life had lived this song so many times. "I came into this lovely city About three weeks ago today And I've been trying to...
  11. When You're Older

    When you're older you are no longer a victim of your sexual hormones--a slave to your libido. When you are older you aren't expected to look sexy but rewarded highly if you do. When you are older you impress with your strength--feel no shame for being vulnerable. When you are older you have meaningful relationships that have ripened over time. When you are older you have a wealth of knowledge at your disposal--plentiful experiences and memories to comfort. When you are older you are...
  12. I`m Not Happy And I Am Sad

    I feel numb. I`m not sure if it`s the meds or not. I feel empty inside. I don`t seem capable of much these days. I look in the mirror and all I see is emptiness in my eyes. My body feels exhausted all the time. This illness takes so much from me. I don`t see my purpose in life. I don`t feel alive. I do have things I am grateful for like my family. It isn`t perfect but whose is? I feel guilty for feeling so down. I know that there are people that have it much harder than me. But I guess that...
  13. Relearning how to navigate this site.

    Some would know me as redpathetic. I don't have my password anymore. This site is different now. It's been a long time since I've posted.
  14. Yes, just me

    I fell to sleep so early. 6. I woke up at 10..I feel sad, strangely upset , bitter because of trying to understand people like Dolores O Riordan... Excetera... "Maybe it is all just heartburn!" Dead.. Yes, She is dead at 46 yrs of age!!! Crazy! how lives we set in front of our eyes ears hearts can affect us. Even from afar. "Be careful Monkey!" I have felt her grief her concerns, her pain. I guess, I know! I just see it all so, Clear. Yes, life , Eeven my life, is A God given gift....
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