posted by davidt on Tuesday July 02 2002, @08:00AM
Marcus writes:

I spotted that old Moz sidekick Jake paying pool in an East End drinking establishment on Saturday. Despite the presence of his less than friendly looking chums I finally summoned up the guts to speak to the said suedehead. 'Jake?' I tentatively began.

'Yeah'? he responded.

So it was him! At last I was on the brink, the cusp, the very precipice of being privy to some salacious juicy gossip on the Great Mancunian Hermit himself!!! I steeled myself . . .

'Seen Moz recently?' I enquired, affecting the air of studied indifference.

'Fuck off.'

I froze. Had he really told me to fuck off? or was he just coughing?

It was said as casually as on might blink or swot an annoying fly. I decided for my own safety to leave at this point when, adding insult to injury, one of his tattooed acquaintances branded me a 'fucking student' I left in a state of utter dejection. Not only had I failed in my quest for gossip but I had been publicly humiliated into the bargain. Later however, I was proudly telling my housemates that Jake had told me to fuck off! 'Er . . . Who's Jake?' they chorused.
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  • That's a great story. Just a couple of questions.
    How did you know it was him? Did he even
    look at you as he said it?
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @08:11AM (#32836)
  • ...and concentrate on writing. Amazing narrative!
    Havfine -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @08:19AM (#32837)
    (User #284 Info)
    "Have you forgotten how to love yourself?" Red House Painters
  • just who is "Jake?"
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @08:55AM (#32840)
  • It's bad enough that Morrissey has to deal with all the stalkers, but at least he chose to become a celebrity (although I don't think that gives people the right to hang around outside his house). But I think it's in extremely poor taste to pester his friends and/or former friends, it's selfish and thoughtless and I am quite sure that Moz would not approve. The poor man doesn't even know the meaning of the word privacy anymore, and to invade the privacy of his friends as well just to satisfy your curiosity is really out of order.

    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @09:14AM (#32842)
  • duh (Score:2, Funny)

    and what did you think he was going to do? be your pal?
    suzanne -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @09:34AM (#32846)
    (User #36 Info)
    I scare dead people.
    • Why not by David T (different) (Score:1) Tuesday July 02 2002, @10:23AM
      • Re:Why not by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday July 03 2002, @12:25AM
      • Re:Why not by suzanne (Score:0) Wednesday July 03 2002, @02:25PM
  • I have heard so many rumors about this man. Really what is the deal with him and moz, once and for all? Not like it really matters, but I am sure alot of us have always wondered that.
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @11:46AM (#32868)
    • He's Bi by Anonymous (Score:0) Tuesday July 02 2002, @01:01PM
  • Jake (Score:3, Insightful)

    Jake was Morrissey's lover for at least a couple of years in the mid 1990s. He is an ex-boxer and is indeed the subject of 'Best friend on the Payroll'. He inspired the Boxers thing, and it's his tattooed midriff that appears on the 'The More you Ignore Me' cover. Note he had 'MOZ' tattooed across himself....

    I also personally believe he's the reason Moz looks so very happy and content in the 'The More you Ignore Me' vid. Didn't anyone else notice that?

    Unfortunately, inevitably, it all went wrong. To all you pathetic homophobes, live with it. If you love Moz, you have to love every aspect of him. If not, piss off and buy an Oasis album.
    Northern Bird -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @12:03PM (#32877)
    (User #4363 Info)
    no longer drowning...
    • Re:Jake by Xhris (Score:1) Tuesday July 02 2002, @03:53PM
    • Flamebait? by Celibate Cry (Score:1) Tuesday July 02 2002, @08:20PM
  • homer sexual (Score:2, Interesting)

    Why is it that if anyone dares to question whether Morrissey is homosexual or not they're branded homophobes?

    I would say that it's a perfectly valid question, seeing as The Man has never actually clarified his position.

    It seems to me that the "Morrissey's gay" bunch think they're in the know and everyone else is either naive or homophobic, because there's absolutely no way an intelligent person could ever actually question whether Morrissey is gay.

    For all I know, Morrissey may very well be as gay as the night is dark, but I think there's more than enough evidence to make a case for him being of another persuasion
    Mr_Biffo -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @12:35PM (#32881)
    (User #2843 Info)
    "Lies are no comfort when there are tears in your eyes"
  • Those that question have a legitimate right to, since most of the clues lie in the man's own written words. And by the way, Homophobe is overused nowadays anyway. Shouldn't this tired term be put to rest? Believe me, we understand. We get it. Yes, we are in the know. Sexuality is just one facet of a person's identity. Whether you chug cock, or munch on carpet, you have an obligation to develop other areas of yourself that are interesting to your fellow man/woman. Please, enough already with the "gay" attitude and try cultivating a less boring personality. The homo-sex thing is soooo 1987.
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @03:11PM (#32901)
  • I am not 100% sure of morrissey's sexuality, and since sex is such a small part of life, its not terribly important to know what he prefers, However I do like to think of him as gay, since I am also gay, it would just be a nice plus. Not for any sexual reason or anything like that, just because its just another way to relate to him. etc.
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @03:56PM (#32905)
    • Re:hmmm by Anonymous (Score:0) Tuesday July 02 2002, @04:05PM
      • Re:hmmm by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday July 03 2002, @09:37AM
  • Who cares? (Score:2, Insightful)

    Who cares if Morrissey shagged Jake? For that matter who cares if Morrissey is gay, bisexual or asexual? All that matters is that he has created some of the best music ever, and that he has made our lives better for it. Some of you people just like to fight for the sake of it. You all sound jealous of everyone who has ever came into contact with Morrissey. Like any of you (gay or straight) would have a chance with Moz anyway. Get over yourselves.
    Kelly -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @04:13PM (#32909)
    (User #267 Info)
    • Re:Who cares? by FRED UP (Score:1) Tuesday July 02 2002, @05:35PM
      • Re:Who cares? by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday July 03 2002, @12:47PM
  • I can indeed tell you that Jake was Moz's ex-lover/boyfriend/friend whatever. I know this is fact from a VERY VERY reliable source. Who the hell cares anyway? To everyone whom is troubled by this....get over it. Jake is/was a junky also, and that is probably part of the reason they are no longer speaking. "Sunny" refers to much of that. By the have balls to ask him a question like that? I am surprised you got a polite "Toss off" rather than a poolstick up your arse.
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @07:05PM (#32921)
  • Of all the times I have listened to Morrissey I never got the feeling that I would enjoy his music more by trying to figure out what his sexual preference is. If forced to guess I would say he's bisexual which is not uncommon in his circle of celebrity.

    Let's leave this peice of gossip back in the 90's where it belongs.
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @07:26PM (#32922)
  • Here I thought Pasty white English people in leather jackets as an image of toughness and violence was funny enough.

    Pasty white GAY English people telling people to Fuck off and acting all tough and gang like is infinitly more funny.

    Whats next

    The Pasty white English GAY parapelgic gang?

    I can't believe Jake got away with saying that without getting a well deserved smack. Next time...

    Has anyone noticed that for every person who says something about Moz's sexuality, there are 20 people going on about "how it doesn't matter to them and that it doesn't need to be discussed.....blah, blah,

    Then shut the fuk up. Jeez. You'd think people who listen to Moz would understand irony. You'd think that, but you'd be horribly wrong.
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @07:31PM (#32923)
  • Smooth. (Score:1, Funny)

    Right. So you run into this fella who used to signify greatly in Morrissey's life -- Moz was once his (choose one or more: friend/boyfriend/employer) -- but who disappeared from Morrissey-world quite suddenly and hasn't been seen with Moz since, and around whom all sorts of rumors abound regarding the dissolusion of their relationship. Probably a bit of a sore spot, right? So what do you do? Ask him if he's seen Morrissey. Way to rub it in, whatever the "it" may be. Did you honestly think he'd answer in the affirmative? Is reminding someone of a loss a good way of endearing that person to you? It's like asking an acquaintance with a weight problem, "Hey, remember when you were thin?" Smooth.
    Anonymous -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @08:56PM (#32928)
    • Re:Smooth. by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday July 03 2002, @02:35PM
  • Having read through all these 50 posts and actually finding it quite amusing, I think it is now time to get back to the real subject. Thanks for a great story Marcus! You should pursue a career in writing of some sort. And it took balls to do what you did...though of course it could never have any other outcome.

    That some people here fail to understand the tongue-in-cheek nature of the story is no surprise...neither is it that the endless speculation about Moz' sexuality continues. Amazing that he has managed to keep it a mystery for close to 20 years now, considering how all those other 80's gay icons seem to have come out by now, and how many people stalk him and follow him around whenever they see him. Maybe he really is celibate?
    Joemoz -- Tuesday July 02 2002, @11:37PM (#32937)
    (User #1342 Info)
  • but were afraid to ask... :-)

    who is Moz HOTTEST Boyfriend, I would vote for Mike Stipe of REM over Jake Walters...

    "Not if there is anything wrong with it" (Seinfeld show, copyrights...)

    who is Moz UGLIEST enemy...
    Obviously Robert Smith from Cure... BTW, I like Cure music Big Time, but Black Goth Rob Smith in black lipstick induced scary nightmares during my innocent childhood at 80s... :-)

    who is Moz LEAST FAVOURITE gay icon?
    Madonna, Moz called Material Girl's act "almost the organized prostitution" or something like that.

    who is Moz MOST FAVOURITE houseguest?
    Kato Kaelin or Chris from Amb Out, you decide... (Wicked Smile)

    who is Moz WORST enemy...
    Moz himself...

    P.S. Sorry for repost...
    Fox in the Snow -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @12:34AM (#32941)
    (User #4967 Info)
    • out of date by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday July 03 2002, @07:27AM
  • Nice try Marcus. One little piece of time, try asking Jake about the weather before Morrissey. Maybe then, he and his "friends" won't clown you in public. If your goal is to get information from someone this is not the best way to go about it, but i'm sure you know that by now. What did you expect? Did you think Jake would say anything other than what he said? Only a straight-up, bonafide, JACKASS would do what you did, and be surprised to get run like that. I mean, what else is Jake and his posse going to do?
    Oh, and by the way Marcus, thanks alot for your story. It has inspired many half-witted e-mails like the one below:

    Dear Orenthal,

    Have you seen Ron and Nicole lately?



    "fucking student"? That's too classic!
    Jim Rome -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @02:03AM (#32946)
    (User #720 Info |
    ...and how?
  • Wooh this is an interesting new topic(note sarcasm), if you really love Morrissey stop making him out to be some sort of deranged pervert, you people would be first to complain if the NME came up the filth that you are spewing out so give it a bloody rest. Yes I have a fair idea as to what sexuality Morrissey is but really as long as he doesnt date Elton John or Madonna I couldnt give a crap. Discuss his albums and the quality of the new tour rather than this gutter press drivel.
    Anonymous -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @09:28AM (#32966)
  • I have only read a smattering of the stuff about this little vignette but it would appear to me...
    1.Said Jake should be met without his mates and awarded a sound kicking.
    2.All the homophobic tossers,mostly anonymous bravehearts,ditto.And I'm not gay.
    3.What a bitter old queen the lovely Jake sounds.Playing pool does not a hard man maketh.
    Furby -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @12:34PM (#32995)
    (User #4754 Info)
    in the silence you don't know,you must go on,I can't go on,I'll go on.
  • anyone have a picture of the guy?
    Mozzeybite -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @12:48PM (#33002)
    (User #3695 Info)
  • How sick do you think Morrissey's friends/ex-friends are of stupid fans going up them and saying, "Uh . . .what's Morrissey up to?" Try leaving people alone when they're relaxing Fucking student.
    Anonymous -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @02:00PM (#33012)
  • You should've said, "So...'best friend on the payroll eh?' Is 'friend' really the best word to define your relationship to el jefe?"
    Then he would've said, "Huh? Fu[K off!"
    Or, if you were gay yourself you could've approached him as a potential one night stand. HAHAH!
    Anonymous -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @02:36PM (#33021)
  • What a hot topic.
    Quickly David, please post a Moz-sighting at Pico Rivera Sports Arena to change the topic.
    Anonymous -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @03:00PM (#33023)
  • Dear Moz,

    Seen Robert Smith lately? How bout Johnny Rogan?


    Dear Evander Holyfield,

    Seen Mike Tyson lately?


    Dear Madonna,

    Seen Courtney Love lately?

    --Marcus the F'n Student

    Notice to all clones: quit sending me these MARCUS emails. We get it.
    Jim Rome -- Wednesday July 03 2002, @10:29PM (#33040)
    (User #720 Info |
    ...and how?
    • Re: oh, my aching sides by Anonymous (Score:0) Thursday July 04 2002, @06:11AM
      • what drugs by Anonymous (Score:0) Thursday July 04 2002, @08:00AM
        • Re:what drugs by Anonymous (Score:0) Thursday July 04 2002, @09:07AM
          • Re:what drugs by Anonymous (Score:0) Friday July 05 2002, @02:13AM
    • Re:more emails by Anonymous (Score:0) Thursday July 04 2002, @06:22AM
    • Dear Jim by Celibate Cry (Score:1) Thursday July 04 2002, @09:51PM
  • I can't believe this is still an issue. Everyone knows, (or at least should know), that Moz is indeed a full fledged, baggy trouser wearing, pseudo-balding, quiff lovin' bi-sexual. Hell, half of those darn brit males are anyways, whats the big deal?!
    I can't believe all you so called Moz fans still argue this after he wrote the song, "I can have both" :P Ever listen to the words? Ever see him sing it in concert? I was at a show, and he sang I can have both, he may as well been at the Toronto Gay Pride Festival.
    He refused to come out 15 years ago, because well, let's be frank, he thought it would hurt his career. Honestly, Boy George never exactly cornered the hetero market did he :P People read whatever they want into Moz's lyrics, that's the joy of it. Whether he is gay or not shouldn't really be an issue. I'm not gay, but who gives a shite if I was? Same goes for the El Mozzer.
    Lastly well, I used to wonder too (like in 86'), whether he was gay or not. One of these strange curiosities for a young boy I guess. My brother put it best. WHat did Morrissey ask for his birthday? 12 Sailors! Tehheee!
    As for jake, I believe the story, why not. If you were shooting pool with your chums, would u want some kid waving the fact that you took the ole hershey plunge, prolly for the fact that ole steve bought him nice clothes and fancy dinners! His mates prolly kicked his ass afterwards. "haha, Jake did you have to blow Morrissey to get that 1oz pendant? :P " Snix.
    Well I've ranted enough. You people take things too seriously, and I know I'll be severly ridiculed for this post. This is not anti-gay sentiment. If your gay, be proud. If your not, respect people, respect. We are all animals dudes, we all got needs. For most of us, our favourite singer likes men too. No shame in that. Just means he prolly gets laid twice as much as we do :P So cheers to him.
    P.s- Like reported like 3 years ago, this album better not be f'in MEXICAN THEMED :P I'll burn my copy if it is :P
    Peace, love, and Harmony.
    Dave K, Plumbers Ass in Buffalo
    Anonymous -- Thursday July 04 2002, @04:21AM (#33053)
  • If only you could have come up with a more clever advance. Apparently this "Jake" is a bad ass who doesn't enjoy small talk from strangers. Personally i couldn't give rats hairy behind who Moz hangs with. Does it really matter, anyway NOW?
    Anonymous -- Friday July 05 2002, @10:05AM (#33127)
  • Stop crying your heart out, Marcus.
    Anonymous -- Sunday July 07 2002, @12:52PM (#33219)
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