The new med I am on is remeron.It has awful side effects like weight gain and one of lesser known side effects is it can make your hair fall out.But I`ve tried everything else short of ect.I`ve been extra depressed because one of my dogs got really sick the vet said it could be due to her old age.So I just sat there and cried with her.Than God she got better in a few days.My insomnia has been getting worse.The other day I only got to sleep at 7:00 in morning even after taking my meds.The new anti depressant should take effect in two to four weeks.I don`t know if I can take it that much longer.All I seem to want to do is just sit there and cry.Hurting myself makes it better sometimes.But sometimes it just doesn`t help at all.All I WANT to do is sleep but my insomnia is so bad I can`t even do that.I just want this shit to be over.I need it to be over so I can get on with this sorry life.I don`t know what to do anymore.My Mom keeps telling me maybe I should go into a hospital maybe that would help.My psych says I need to try to sleep everyday.I wish I could do that.It is easier said than done.It`s 2:30 in the morning here and I haven`t slept since sunday.I`m tired ,tired tired.I`m so wired though I don`t think I could get to sleep with all the seroquel and geodon in the world.Right now honestly I don`t feel like sleeping at all.My psych also told me I need to get off the caffine.He said my meds are supposed to be calming me down and the caffine won`t let them.I really don`t think that matters though.It`s just my stupid(excuse my language)fucked up brain.Maybe I am just a fuck up.I`m so tired of this.

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    Come,Come Nuclear Bomb
              ~Morrissey~

    How I Dearly Wish I Was Not Here
                          ~Morrissey~