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Sunday September 20, 09
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11:28 PM - bippity boppity boo
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I hate to start out with "well, I guess I don't come here as much as I used to...." but there ya go.
I don't know really what to say except that I'm currently in a state of limbo.
it becomes even more scary the more that I think about it. My student loans will be coming due in December, I still don't have a paying job, the bar results won't be in until November, and at that point, people won't be thinking of anything except for Christmas parties and turkey, and so I'm guessing that I won't be hired anywhere until after the new year.
So, I've been looking at "seasonal work" at places like World Market and Whole Foods.
But I get hung up on the applications. They say "list relevant work experience" which, to me, would be the McDonald's and Movie 8 stuff I used to do, but that was from way back in the day when I was 19 and 22 years old. I really don't want to put the legal stuff on it because "writing appellate briefs" sounds way too irrelevant for the position and may possibly scare people off. My recent legal experience resembles that of a handyman on a farm who travels from town to town to do odd jobs.
Right now, I'm disappointed.
I feel like I should hunt the Mexicans down and see how they live off of 3 cents a day because I feel like those are the skills I need to be sharpening.
I feel like I should have been clipping coupons and saving money. I feel like I should have purchased more raw ingredients and learned how to cook more meals from scratch. Not that I'm exactly that poor at the moment, but I feel like it could go that way just because of the economy and the fact that I might have to take criminal appointments.
Yes, I may have to start my own law practice.
I mean, I thought that the day may come eventually, but I really didn't want it coming out of the gate.
It's at moments like this when I think even more about the cries of "socialism!" that people have decided to shout. It seems like absolutely nobody is asking where our government was when all of these mortgage companies were ripping people off. There ya go: it's unchecked capitalism. And we still lost.
What people don't get is that businesses don't have moral compasses. They work solely for their own benefit. Intellectually, a company can realize that home prices can't keep going up and up and that a lot of these people can't pay, but when they're feeding at the trough of short-term benefits, they absolutely don't care that they are part of a puzzle. All they could see was that "so and so is doing it and they're hugely profitable, and our fickle shareholders will wonder why WE aren't ripping people off if there is money to be had."
Well, last I heard, robbing a bank is illegal, even if it gives you money, because it causes societal harm. Lives are put at risk in the name of protecting property. So, basically, some force out there has to tell people "no, you can't do this."
So, what I've been doing in the meantime is going back to volunteer at the public defender's office. I feel a bit like a 5th year senior because they will never hire me and I'm basically doing it for God and country and fear of boredom.
I guess I also keep hoping that a few more months of experience will make a difference.
Maybe it will.
I think now of the summer after I graduated from UT and how I DJ'd at the radio station. I landed my first job in San Angelo because I had DJ experience. It paid almost nothing, but at least I got my foot in the door and was able to move back to Austin fairly quickly.
I hate to once again be that much of a bottom-feeder, but there ya go. I'm so tired of being alone, and now, I have to start all over again. At least the marrieds have had some sort of consistency in their lives. There is no happy Faerie that is going to look into my heart, see how much I've worked, and take me away from this. All I can think is, "what if I just don't find a job? What if I never practice law and I have to find something else to do?"
Now, I know what those immigrants from Taiwan who were professionals at home and are now delivering pizzas to a bunch of frat boys feel like.
what I need is a rudder. That's always what I've needed. I've needed some direction and somebody that knows what they are talking about. I need somebody with a logical vision, and something that I can accomplish.
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Whole Foods should be very laid back, so just tell them your plight and emphasise that you are interested in working in an enlightened atmosphere because mainstream worklife is making you ill. They'll understand, and may recognise a like-mind.
Good luck to you...