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Saturday May 10, 08
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12:27 PM - Do you remember the first animal* you killed?
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music: Meat Is Murder BY The Smiths
mood: i need food, no animals today i think
for me it was a sparrow in flight, i raised my bb gun, lead the target and fired
it fell like a stone, landing near my feet, i do not remember whether i felt bad about it at the time
but i have never forgotten the feeling of finding something that i was real good at
and my how the birdies payed for long time after that, it was not a powerful weapon
so i had to learn to stalk up on them, to be quick, to be quiet and accurate
it was then a rifle became an extension of my arm
why am i thinking about all this?
well, today i have consented to talk to someone about PTSD
i remembered this last night and thought that maybe this would trigger an episode while i tried to sleep
and it did in a way, but not about killing people
instead i remembered about being 11 and killing birds
so yeah, indeed, meat is murder
as Morrissey so long ago pointed at
and the worst form of it, is when we do it for sport...
*=i am not counting bugs here
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