It was such fun today. I wasn't expecting it. Sitting in the park, he got horny and made suggestions. Arrangements were made and my my, it's like looking at photos and fantasizing, and then getting to be with the subject, with full on contact, well, not full, if it were full, I'd be getting the kissing that I want, that opens up and is both receptive and bold, and not just pecks here and there, they'd be lingering. That would blow me away up, up, and away into that cloud way way up there, and I'd hover, float up there in it, on it, in my female hormone bathed imagination. He has such a beautiful mouth and it's such a tease. Lahhhh

Maybe he and I are a different sub-species, wired a bit incompatibly. He likes rough, I like gentle ( yet robust ). I won't change. Will he convert? He has been converting though, wether he wants to admit it or not. He's been liking the gentle style.

I long for the kissing. Will he give me what I long for? I've told him he has three months to learn to give it to me, or I'll search for someone who will. Probably won't find anyone but I wanted to make the point that he's holding out on me, in my opinion.

Only one person kissed me the way that felt like home, lingeringly. I was trapped in a situation that prevented me from joining him in going further than that one night, just that one kiss. It's probably too late now. Hmm!

The man, my bf, fuckbuddy, whatever he is called, he let me lead his his lips to mine while we were pistoning and gave me that full kiss but only for a second and then put all his attention back on genitally centred sensation, as if the kissing has to distract him from it, instead of accentuating, instead of what I'd intended, that it would make it more vivid.

So I hope we aren't hard wired differently in a way that makes it impossible for him to relate and be glad to give me what I want.

I think I'm pretty lucky though, as it is, in ways *sly little smile*.