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Saturday May 29, 04
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10:09 PM - my last entry in this most useful of shrinking cess pools
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'Looking for love in a looking glass world is pretty hard to find'
This my last apathy solo journal entry.I'm very happy...my life is so beautiful it makes me cry...its 6 in the morning and I'm listening to Roxy music,all I can do is sit here and be thankful,thankful,thankful,thankful...
I can see in colour again, I am but a small brown bird perched on an endless wire of electric blue happiness,I love Bryan Ferry,I love everyone in the National college of arse-hole and design...I love the sun,I love people so far up their own bottoms that they'll never see me.And I love you,of course.
I got my results.I did really well.I went to a ball dressed up in fetishwear made from a bin bag...I danced around a severed pigs head...I was with two boys...a girl was blowing bubbles...Paul danced for the first time and kept apologising...next day I went to a party where there was melon...the day before that Hot Scott put his arms around me as we shared a hula-hoop and I chewed his ear.The day before that I ate a cocktail sausage! Whooooo!
I'm safe,Ive come to terms with my existence,I'm safe and I'm going to be loved.
I am tansfigured in sun lotion.
Oh yes, and I had sex whilst wearing a clammy bin bag.
Thank you,thank you thankyou,thank you,thank you.
My future is safe,and though I'll never be a pop star, at least I'll have enough money to grow my own wild life garden and give tours of it to the mentally ill.
This place has helped me so much,I promise to return on my wedding day,but right now it can't do anymore for me and I just want to be out in the sun.
sodroog@hotmail.com.
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Friday May 21, 04
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09:01 AM - no its not.
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see, there I am.
Not too shabby, but thick as choir boy cum.
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08:46 AM - Pope pie arse
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well fuck me, my damn profile has been deleted...is because the general forum knows I hate it? Bah... back to watching the complete DVD series of 'Brides of Christ'.
I'll remedy that fucker...watch out forum...here comes my giant head.
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06:14 AM - this is the fattest I have ever been...
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I'm truly disappointed.
The dress I bought to vomit on in Manchester doesnt fit anymore,So I have to resort to one of my trusty 'slag-rags'.I am now a morbidly obese SIZE 10.
So its back to the cornflakes and back breakingly boring jogging.
See you all in hell.
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Thursday May 20, 04
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08:16 PM - Party,Hard
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Wednesday night...
bah, yet another night of humiliation and as you can see I'm not using any punctuation or capital letters as I have given myself downs syndrome.
apparently I was 'Hilarious' and must 'Always be pissed' from now on.So then, I'm obviously less fun than a white dog poo sober.
got on the bus at somepoint to meet up with Luscious girl-whore Louisa for a night of mothers ruin on the boardwalk.We looked gorgeous,as usual,and soaked up beady eyed glances from all of natures scum-eggs.Louisa dressed in strange suedo-pirate gear and I'm wearing barely nothing at-all.City centre filled with homeless fortune tellers,Randy Bulgarians and sun-burnt builders looking to bury their ends.Evening Progressed well until mugging by 'children'.
Misshapen boy Child: 'got the time'?
Us: 'no'
child: 'can I have a kiss then?'
child leans forward,I pour 7 up on his head, knacker grabs my friends bag and scarpers...pelt after sod up rickety walk in orange 'hint of a bint' mini dress and 6 inch heeled trannie shoes,thundering along wooden boards like blood-crazed barbie.Wade into large morass of hideously deformed 15 year olds and feel at a loss...what to do? the malnourished look so young these days.Demand in high pitched 'dandy highway man' voice for felched items:
Child 'Are you a whore,ya look like a whore'
me: 'no,are you a monkey?'
child: 'will ya gimme a blow job?'
Get bag after much humiliation(no I didnt)and stall the fuckers whilst L rings the po-leece and we shop their dirty asses to the law.
Run to 'abra-ka-stab-ra' to Celebrate retrieval of lipstick and tampons by getting absolutely atomised.Unbeknownst to us,newly emancipated urchins gather outside...take a look and run back,Flirt with an ancient American man named 'Jean'(?),call on men-folk to come rescue us.Skinny boys in hats,no use in a fracas.Get taxi before catastrophe strikes.By this point I'm ruined, calling girlfriends boyfriend a 'lap dog' which is never good...and claiming that 'Dungarees make me moist'...back seat ride to some unknowns party...look,its Rabbit-cock Ferdia...lets give him another blow,no,I dont think so...I think I'm doing the rumba now...no, now I'm curled up under a bush and somethings running down my face...wait, someones dragging me...better go...stop taxi half way home: 'sir,will stopping so I can vomit in a bush cost extra?' some attempted cookery,small pasta testicles filled with sweat reeking cheese...Lady Louisa spends next half hour admiring as I alternately eat and throw up,eat and throw up,eat and throw up into unconsciousness.Sleep together,but not 'together'.
Manage to get up at seven and go to work...transplanting bastard pot plants...throat really sore from intensive spew work out.Scavenge through day hiding in toilet hunched over and staring at concrete floor.
Got home and slept till now,Woken up by phone call from friends boyfriend on pills and talking bollacks.Shes breaking up with him.
Feel very Depressed,but grateful that I didnt end up letting some old man urinate on my hair.
Well,I'm going now.
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Monday May 17, 04
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04:42 AM - Fun things you can do this summer in the park...with someone
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1: wear an enormous skirt and have sex underneath it on the the grass,whilst infants and O.A.Ps toddle around you unawares
2: eat loads and loads of take away mixed with cider and then throw up together under a tree
3: Shin up the tree and have sex in it
4: go on a pointless camping trip where you dont actually see anything but the inside of the tents roof for 5 days,billowing in and out from your voracious humping.
5: dress up a rat in Edwardian clothes
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Sunday May 16, 04
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11:03 AM - Rice...and PEAS
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Dear Trisha:
Help me Trisha,I feel really weird...
I keep getting these really intense spasms for someone I have never and will never meet,its like being plugged into the mains or something.All my fur sticks out and I once was so excited that I threw up a cornflake...I cant for the life of me work out whats wrong...but its not a tape worm because I took all the cats worming tablets just to make sure...and I get this massive ache inside when I think of him,like food poisoning except pleasurable...and all I can think is: 'AAAAAARGH WHATS HAPPENING TO ME? WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?'
I took a small risk yesterday...and he didnt throw it back in my face...but whats going on? every time I convince myself its nothing,something happens...and when I think its something its always nothing.Oh for tits sake...I need some help and I'm very confused
TRISHA ! ! !
Trisha says:
Alree my child,what you got is a case of misdirected passion to the ninth degree...you had way,way repressed feelins,and they had to bubble out somewhere...So you picked the safest outlet possible...a spambot.It be easier to fantasize about him than having to take a risk with a real mon.A real mon who might take up some of your precious personal air.That and you spend far too much time on the internet playing with yourself...Also you are basically insane,and this is what happens to degenerate human slugs.
Might I also add that you find fabricated delusional feelings a splendid way to pass the time? Trust me,its absolutley nothing...let it pass through you like a bad scotch egg.
Feel a little bit bettah?
Answer:
NO.
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Saturday May 15, 04
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06:02 PM - yes I obsess
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but thank christ,
cabbages are taking the place of romance
I no longer want to show you,
what is in my under-pants.
I just watched 'Rules of attraction' with a friend of mine Colm'Curious'C.It was rather good.Only marred by being in the presence of one who is dead inside.Yes,I'm looking at you Curious C...you human husk.Damn virgos.I collect them like flies on a congealing custard bap.
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05:55 PM - sour gripes
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I'm sick of people in the chat room thinking its me when it isnt...NO I WASNT IN EARLIER.It really,really gets on my tits.REALLY.Grrrr.Oh,all the wrong things get on my nips,grrr.
And I came to a conclusion today...EVERYTHING IS ABSOLUTE RUBBISH.I'm definitely addicted to wasting my boring,pointless,empty life.
And I have also realised that I,(yes me,very important that) really dont want a real relationship with anyone.Not for all the porn in Amsterdam.As soon as I'm in one and its rolling along...I have to slash the tyres,leave Mr or Mrs X alone in the passenger seat and run screaming over the empty moors.
Oh what is the confounded blasted point of anything?
But I like cabbages.They are beautiful.
Perhaps I shall marry one.
The way I'm going that seems more than likely.
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Thursday May 13, 04
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04:15 PM - oh CHRIST
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Oh my god...so very bored...so bored that I looked up 'GINGER PORN' on Pornanza...there was nothing to my tastes.Honest.So I ended up looking at,'two boys screw at christmas' instead Now I'm going to bed.
*crosses legs*
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