I did think that latest poll was a little odd...but I cannot think of one myself...
What am I doing here, there is other things I should be doing instead but something lures me back. Must be the hope of seeing 'new Morrissey album' announced or something!
I was reading in another journal about the 70% sure, 100% sure = too late & I think that is some good advice. Perhaps we don't all need to plan every tiny detail of our life. Leave some room & who knows what might happen. I think that is a good philosphy & one that I will try to remember with all my stuff that I have going on at the moment. Although I have never really been one to wait around, more of the kind of person who just jumps up & takes what is on offer. Guess that is how I get into trouble!
I'm going out this weekend & my mum is looking after bub overnight....looking forward to it! I haven't been out all night since the Morrissey concert about a month ago, so I'm going to phone everyone to see that they can all come out to play as well!
Last night I dreamt that I was in a club where the music was playing without the words - kind of like karaoke - but people were dancing & singing along instead of just standing with a mike - I remember feeling good as all my friends were with me & we had a booth seat & were drinking beers, watching the other people dancing/singing along. Then 'Can't Get Enough' by Suede came on and my boyfriend pulled me up to dance. It was a fun dream...I wonder if it would really work...

Packed weekend...went swimming yesterday which was very cooling. Some shopping in the city, some wine out in the garden during the cool of night. Friends for dinner...but missed out on going to yoga, but it was good to have a little sleep in.
On TV the other night they had this joke that went something like "Morrissey has writers block so takes depressants"...ha ha ha...very un-original.
I've been working on some writing & also my website which is driving me a little crazy as I am getting plenty of hits but no other kind of feedback. A little odd to me. But I might try and do some kind of direct advertising, see if that changes anything...I mean, I'm only trying to help others!!!
My boyfriend and I seem to be getting along much better than last week, which is a relief! It is hard having a baby and trying to keep relationships up to date as well. But I think we'll be alright.
When I went to my friends house I forgot to get a whole load of CDs back, so I am missing heaps of music that I really want to listen to. Like, I am in the mood for 'Dry' but she has still got it. Damn!
At the moment I am loving the new Beth Orton single, its on the radio heaps & is a lovely tune.

My friend came over for lunch today & it was lovely as always to see her. Although she didn't stay too long as she was feeling slightly under the weather. A bit rundown.
I am totally over the slagging off that I got on the tour part of this site & am moving on. Nah, it didn't bother me that much just felt a bit petty for a moment.
Still slaving away at the website etc, my boyfriend was trusted to put up something but he did it wrong, not once but twice. So I felt that it made me look a bit silly & unprofessional.
We have been getting along a little bit better as I've been making some effort - but it is hard. I've got no patience as that is used up on the baby & I expect him to be a mind reader sometimes. Just chill out & remember what is important in life I guess. He does try most of the time! Last night I gave him my free pass to The Ring & he really enjoyed it, although he said it was very scary, which is why I didn't really want to go. I stayed home & watched a doco about Eva Braun. Kind of interesting but how she could not have known what was going on or slept with Hitler..ugh!
I really want to get the new Tori Amos album but lack of funds at the moment...maybe an early xmas present??

It is so hot here & without airconditioning it is making both me and the baby very grumpy!
Actually got the first part of my licence on Friday, so was very happy with that. It has taken me so long to actually get around to doing something about it. Everyone was pleased for me but now the difficult part - actually learning to drive a car - not just the theory part! But I should be ok seeing that I really need to do it now...
My brothers 21st went ok, I had a bit too much to drink & felt very headachey the next morning. Also, because I only managed one hour sleep! Made it to yoga though, so I guess that shows some dedication. Fell asleep in the meditation part again though.
Today...I have letters to mail, photographs to work on, baby to take care of...it never ends...
Am thinking of finding somewhere new to live as I hate hot summers & I feel like all is not right with my partner & I.

Finished a painting & I am quite proud of it. Working in a similar vein as the ones in my most recent exhibition. However this one is based around memories of the Moz concert. So, people might not get it - however those who do will have my love! As they know who he is....
Didn't go to a meeting that I was supposed to go to last night so I feel a bit guilt. However, I am allowed a night off sometimes. It was nice, we had a salad for dinner with avacdo, olives & feta cheese. Watched The Bill with a nice cup of tea! However my darling baby didn't sleep all the night through, so I do feel a bit tired today.

What can I add to these recent journal entries. But don't take your life. Hopefully things will get better & as much as this is a cliche, some people really do have it worse! I haven't been well for about 4 years & am finally having an operation to sort it all out (misdiagnosed etc) & at times I felt really sorry for myself. But my boyfriends mother has cancer & is pretty much living on borrowed time. Yet she is able to find enough joy to keep her going. Enough books to read & gorgeous music to listen to. It makes me feel weak & also wakes me up a little. Life ain't so bad...we get to experience the beautiful music of Moz for one thing!! I also find that as you get older things become more manageable. But I don't want to make light of anyones situation.

Favourite poem - Lady Lazarus, Sylvia Plath
Favourite Moz song - Alsatian Cousin (changes each day)
Favourite Cure song - The Figurehead, Pornography LP
Favourite drink - lemon water/beer

Reading entries lately & I feel like I am writing out a shopping list. Try not to be too down but also remember that your problems are valid & not insignificant.
My day has been ok, got my brothers 21st present easily. I thought it was going to take hours to find something as he is a bit picky & trendy!
Worked more on art, coming up with some ideas that I am pleased to continue on with. I can always tell if its going to be good if I stay with it for more than an hour!
Currently I am listening to Station To Station & the guy next door who is chopping down a tree as he has done for the last four evenings when my baby is trying to sleep!!!! Hopefully it doesn't wake her up again this evening. She has been a bit tired from our shopping trip.
Thinking about that latest Moz poll regarding karaoke. Recently I got the Suede DVD which has Karaoke & realised how bad my singing is!!! Oh well. I also thought their videos were very crappy! Which suprised me as I thought they would be more stylish.
Damn! She has woken up. Don't think I resent her waking, its just that i know she needs the sleep!

Still working away at the site - this time on the promotion side of things. But that is the more boring, less creative option...
Good to see the Morrissey is leading the popular Mancurian poll! Guess, its all those good Morrissey-solo people who did the voting!
It is a beautiful, sunny day here & I should really get out there & do something. So in a minute I think I'll take the baby for a walk. She loves being outdoors.
'Spending warm, sunny days indoors...'
Got roped into spending more time at the exhibition and on a Sunday! But I guess its what they call 'networking' or something...
Looking forward to seeing the play tonight. Although when I told my friend that my b/f wouldn't be coming, she seemed to think that was a bit odd. Probably thinks we are fighting or something. However, it is nice to do things apart sometimes & its not that odd!

Well...I have finally finised my website! I feel like letting out a huge sigh of relief & then doing a happy dance around the room! See, I am not that technically minded or computer literate, so it has been a huge learning experience for me...but I am proud of what I have done today.
My friends & I are going to see a play tomorrow night called 'Everything Is Fucked' - its a new work, so the tickets are cheap & they are wanting the audience to stay back afterwards to give comments etc...should be fun. We have already decided to go out for drinks afterwards. Although I am not sure if my b/f can be trusted with our daughter. Last night he gave her fish with the skin still on & she threw it up all over he cot & pj's. I think he sometimes forgets that she is still only a little baby! I couldn't believe that I was pregnant at 22, I remember listening to 'Pregnant For the Last Time' & thinking never but then suddenly that song had a whole different meaning for me!!!! Oh well...
I am looking for a book to read...any suggestions??? I have still got to get through 'And the Ass Saw the Angel' by Nick Cave - but I am not in the mood for it at present.
Went into my old work this afternoon & am kind of glad that I am not part of it any more. The staff numbers have been slashed & it just seemed so empty & silent. Bet they miss my Mozz screensavers!!!

Trying to work on my website but it is all coming along rather slowly. Too slowly...I hate waiting but then again I guess it gives me more time to think through what I want to put on there etc...
My darling baby went to sleep without much fuss this morning, so I think today is going to be a great day! The older she gets the more curious she is becoming about the world. Its so sweet as she loves Morrissey, she goes quite when I put his music on & she starts to rock back & forth. Sometimes, I get a bit more rock & roll with her & hold her high up in the air to some of the rockier songs, she laughs her little head off!!!
Am going to be at the exhibition again tonight, this time upstairs. So I will get to have a better look at some of the artwork that I missed last time I was there. Some of it is really good & shows that we do have some wonderful talent here but other stuff I do not like. Its kind of annoying because it can be very much as case of 'not what you know, who you know' as I'm sure that the curator wasn't very picky. While its good to let people have an opportunity it also brings down the good work a bit. That sounds awful but it is so hard to get a start in the art business here, so I do feel very passionate about the way work should be presented.

Things to look forward to:

new Morrissey album (when???)
building webiste
going to the pub on Sunday
hearing back about my grant application in December (please let it be successful)

All went well with my friend. She was a bit quieter than usual, a bit spacier but other than that she was like her 'old self'. We went to a cafe nearby that I haven't been to before & it turned out to be a really cool place. With this back room of low lighting, curtains & little booths to sit in.
Last night I rode my bike to the exhibition, I haven't ridden it for about 4 years - so I was a bit nervous! But it was a great feeling, riding back in the dark, with the deserted streets & a nice warm wind blowing. I am looking forward to riding again tomorrow night.
Feeling good about opening up my own gallery as the people I talked to last night were very supportive & I feel that the time is right. Its just going to cost $$$. Oh well, you only live once & might as well do what you love with that time that you have.