and got behind the wheel..... now you're..... driving sideways....

I thought I'd never think of a lyric with which to title this one, but there it is..... clear as day.....

I headed out to lunch yesterday and I had barely driven 10 feet when I felt that something was definitely wrong - sure enough, my back passenger tire was completely flat..... now this is a remnant from the accident from December - when the girl smashed into my parked car.... ever since then, my check engine light comes on occasionally (a sensor located where she hit me is causing it - I never called the insurance back about that one because they'd say it was unrelated for sure) and my front driver's side tire has leaked air..... when she hit my car, she pushed it into the curb, bending the rim, causing the leak...... boyfriend fixed it but noted that the tire had a bump on the side, so would probably need replacing pretty soon, unless we move it to the back, where it'll get less wear and tear.....

but now it was flat......

I (bravely) decided that I would change the tire myself, since I know how to change a tire..... in theory...... I mean, I know all the steps, I know what to do, I've just never ACTUALLY done it..... successfully.....

Flashback to 1996 (or so) - me and my high school best friend, driving around in her 1982 Honda Civic - completely rusted out..... a mechanic once told us to drive it home and never get into it again..... but what did we care? we were wild.... crazy.....
she got a flat on one of those cold rainy windy November days that sneak up on you.....
I, even back then, "knew" how to change a flat and decided to change it and save the day......
I got her car up on the jack.... twisting furiously..... hair hanging in ringlets.... getting completely soaked...... her car came up 3, 4, 5 inches off the ground.... success!!..... and then it happened..... we heard a creaking/crunching noise..... her car began to sink even though i was still pumping the jack.....
her car had sunk onto the jack.....
I had placed it in the middle of the passenger seat floor...... where there was now a hole..... luckily (or did it really matter at this point?) the carpet was not ruptured, just the floor of the car..... so at least it wasn't noticeable.... ?

Back to yesterday.....
I decided I would try again..... but I would wait until most people had gone home for the day, so that, should I do anything stupid, (very likely) there would be no witnesses.....

4:45 - I approached the vehicle... rolled back my sleeves..... pinned up my hair..... removed my rings and I went to the trunk to retrieve the jack.....
it lay there, on its side..... I pulled on it.... nothing..... I tugged, twisted, yanked..... nothing..... I called bf...... no answer..... I sat down IN the trunk and pulled with both hands..... nothing...... called bf...... no answer...... left angry message regarding him being the last one touching the jack and now it's stuck, and everyone's gone home and so I am stuck..... he called back and told me to twist the height adjustment thingy to squeeze the jack shut and it fell from its little holder thingy....
oh.....
he had to go.....
I was left to my own devices...... once I'd figured out that I had to stand on the lug-nut opener thing in order to get the lug nuts to budge, it was smooth sailing.... I totally did it.....
I was filled with pride..... my hands were black with grease..... my spare tire was perfectly in place.... a guy driving by asked if I needed help.... "No thanks," I beamed.... "I got it...."
I replaced all the tools and decided to drive back through the parking lot, triumphantly on the spare tire I had placed there with my own bare hands, to go wash my hands in the work bathroom before I went home.....
as I pulled away, something creaked..... then squeaked..... hmmm.... maybe it's just the spare? it hasn't been used in a while? who cares.... I did it all by myself! with no help from anyone! woohoo!

It wasn't until after I had washed my hands and started to drive out of the parking lot that I realized what was wrong....
I had the parking brake still set......