who will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderly... things like this, make me sick but in a case like this I'll get away with it....

So, Valentine's Day..... the day of red hearts, chocolates and other tackiness getting shoved down our collective throat.....
I've never been one to celebrate - last year I believe I ran out at lunch and got bf a pastry and a card..... I ended up eating most of the pastry....
this year I told him let's just say no.... No to Valentine's day cards, no to balloons, no to flowers, just no....
we have purchased last week a treadmill and so I have declared it the treadmill of love - that's our gift to each other.....

Thinking about bf though (and one may say, wait, bf? aren't you engaged now? to which I say, yes, we have decided to enter a state of marriage but nothing's changed - he's still my bf - and I hate the word "fiance" so he will still be known as bf) anyways, thinking about bf I realized I rarely say anything nice about him.... in fact, I often find myself downplaying or denying his importance in my life when talking about him to others...... I don't know why I do it, but I do..... it's gotten pretty bad.... my mom thinks I'm mean to him, my sister thinks I'm a cold person, my other sister thinks I'm cold AND mean to him, etc.
the truth is, my feelings for him are known to him and I figure that's no one's business and so I keep mine hidden as it were.....

So in honor of Valentine's day - I will take a break from my usual ambivalence and share a few nice things about my other half.... I mean, there ARE reasons why I have been with him so long and plan on hanging around for the future.... and here they are (in no particular order):

1. He's really a kind and gentle person. He bonds instantly with children and animals alike..... he cares about the comfort and safety of others above himself..... I really dig that.
2. He's loyal. In every way.... the way he talks about me to others really brings out my best features..... he's my personal cheerleader. The way I've heard him talk about me, I feel like, wow, what a cool chick I am..... I am also sure that he will not cheat on me.... I mean, as sure as anyone can be, so I never say never but it's not something that I have to ever think about.
3. He laughs about it now, but when we met he swears i didn't say anything (which is probably true) for like a year. He said he had never met anyone so hard to break through to. I was very closed in, very cynical and had very low self esteem. I am now almost outgoing.... I find myself talking to whoever will listen at parties and I credit that directly to him.
4. He's still very sweet. On one of our walks last summer, there was a lost dog notice taped to a pole. He told me to go read it. I, of course, was like, what the hell for? Just go read it, he says. "Why?" I ask. "Would you just go read it?" So I crossed the street to look at it, lost dog, black and white, blah blah blah... and at the bottom there was, written in highlighter, I (a heart) Gosia (my name in Polish). He had driven past there earlier and knew we'd be walking by later so he got out and wrote it. Another cute thing? We were doing a puzzle and as we got down to the last few pieces I started hurrying. I noticed he picked up the pace as well.... "So you want to get the last piece too?" I asked.... I love putting the last piece into a puzzle (don't know why). He ended up getting the last piece. A few days later, we were doing another puzzle and I gave up after a while and left to go take a shower.... when I got out I came back to the dining room and the puzzle was complete except for the last piece - it was laying out for me...
5. We talk.... and talk and talk and talk..... we talk about life, about jobs about people, about gossip, about ants, and the crazy hotels in Dubai and space and time and chocolate and pharoahs.... everything...
6. He's not too masculine or feminine... he changes the oil in my car, changes the brakes and somehow knew how to install my window after my radio got stolen. He also irons his clothes (he once ironed his stuff before we went camping... CAMPING... who irons for camping?), cleans the bathrooms weekly and keeps up with his laundry.... he also hates when I leave my clothes laying around but isn't so uptight as to make a big deal out of it.
7. He cares about money and is an excellent saver, yet he also doesn't mind spending it. He finds it important to enjoy being able to buy something and not just scrimp and save yet he pays all of his bills and has no debt (unlike me and my eternal credit card payment).
8. He's totally reasonable..... we can talk through SO many things that other couples we know scream about.... In fact, we never have screaming matches or any kind of major fighting..... and when we do snap at one another (because we must), he's usually the first to come and apologize....even if it's not his fault anyway.... and if he doesn't, then I do it, even if it's not my fault anyway, and all is well.....
9. He's the only person I could ever picture having kids with. I think he'd be more "on the ball" about parenting than I ever would be.... he's the kind of guy who would rather change the diapers himself because he'd swear I'm not doing it right... he'd want to personally make sure his kid is warm and fed and clean and not just rely on me to do it.... he'll be awful with teenagers though, I can tell that right now. He'd be so hurt if his teenage kid didn't take his advice do everything a certain way and I know that a teenager won't do anything a certain way, if at all...... that's where I'd have to step in.
10. He's adventurous..... if I was with someone like me, I'd never see or do half of the things I've done..... on our first real vacation, we got to the hotel and he started looking for a car rental place. I tried to discourage him, prefering to stay safely in the hotel and just relax. We rented a car, explored the entire island, found a ferry to another island, explored THAT whole island and found views and beaches I could've only ever imagined before.... now when we travel, there's no question.... we really pack in the activities.... he challenges me to try new things and we do have a lot of fun together.

and finally....
He kisses my tummy on lazy mornings and rarely walks past me without giving me a pat, pet or squeeze....
he makes me feel beautiful and I still catch him looking at me from across the room....
he makes a good cup of coffee and brings it to me in bed.....
he appreciates my attempts at dinner and doesn't mind my "new recipes"....

and then there are the multiple ways he can bug the crap out of me and make me want to tear out my hair out but I'll save those entries for the rest of the year....
today i will focus on all things good....

and now I'm off to steal a couple of red&pink frosted heart-shaped cookies (brought in for all of us cubicle dwellers as a valentine's treat)... maybe I'll get bf something this valentine's after all....
if I can refrain from eating them before I get home....