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Saturday November 11, 06
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05:01 AM - I'm the worst person in the world
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No, seriously it's true.
I had such a great night last night, then i started talking to this guy just before closing, he seemed nice and we got on quite well. We went back to mine and started kissing and stuff but he kept getting calls from somone, he said one of his mates had got beat up and another didn't have keys to his flat and needed him to go let him in. I tried to make him stay, teasing him and that and it was working quite well but he said he felt really bad and since he lived quite near by i said why didn't he go let the guy in and then come back? he said he would so i gave him my number so he could call me to let him in and he left. About 20 minutes after he left i got a call from a girl:
her- hi is this angel?
me- yeah, sorry who's this?
her- i heared you just took my boyfriend back to your flat
me-what? sorry ok, who's your boyfriend?
her-the guy you just took back to your flat!
me-oh my god i'm so sorry i-
her- what are you doing taking a guy who has a girlfriend back to your flat?!
me- i'm so sorry, i didn't know-
then she hung up on me. I felt so bad, i sent her this gushing txt:
me- i'm so sorry. If i'd known i wouldn't of but i swear he didn't tell me. I'm so sorry.
her- yeah, well i just found out and i'm just really fucked off right now
me- i'm so sorry. We didn't sleep together i'm just so sorry.
her- look, it's ok i know it was more him then you
I stopped txting after that, what more was there to say? i can't believe i said we didn't sleep together, as if it makes it fucking better. What the hell does it matter what we did? it's still cheating.
I lost my blade last week so i've been using scissors when i needed to cut, i only do it lightly because i know how deep they could go but last night it wasn't enough. I lost count of how mant times i did it, i was just so hurt and angry with myself. There was blood everywhere but i couldn't care less. I washed them once but they carried on so i just crawled into bed with them still bleeding.
To make things that much worse he actually did come back. I'd turned my phone off incase he tried to call me but i heared him calling my name outside, at exactly the time he said he'd come back.
I have no idea who this girl is or how she got my number, it may of been from him but then why would he come back? all i know is that i can't stop thinking about it.
The only thing worse then being cheated on is being the person they get cheated on with.
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I can barely believe what I have just read.
You have done absolutely NOTHING wrong in any way here. There is no way that you should be punishing yourself over this.
HE is the one entirely at fault in this issue. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!!! HE made all the moves without letting you know that he was already involved with someone. The fact that the other girl admitted that she suspected it was all his doing shows what a louse this creep actually is.
You weren't to know anything of his sleazy ways. Please don't punish yourself for other people's wrong-doings.
You are NOT the worst person in the world. Not in any way, shape or form. And I'm sure that there are many people here who would agree fully with me on that one.
You are one of the special ones. NEVER forget that.
Take care,
Sherman.