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05:04 PM
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I constantly moan...now that my eyes are open.
I decided today that I died about 5 or 6 years ago. I am not sure who this new person is that has taken the spot of that girl who has passed on...but I am trying to get use to her and to this new body. I am as depressed as ever and I am sitting in the pool of it wadding, spashing, and soon drowning. I have been having chest pains latlely I am not sure if I pulled a muscle or if its something more serious...I might go to the dr tommorow. I am not scared if it is anything because this life I am living is a hell that I wouldn't mind escaping. I hate it all. I can't control anything anymore and it scares me silly. I just don't know what the fuck to do. I can't kill myself for the fear of the next life...I can't change too much because change scares me just as much as not having control. Oh God please help me. Save me from me.
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