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Wednesday March 19, 03
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08:11 AM - Hot guys make graves too
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Dude. I have no idea what to do anymore. I just dont. I love mathhew, but this has got to go. This Lauren chick, thats it. I'm going wait until Friday(until he calls then) and see how he resolved this issue. Because for real, I can't take this anymore. He acknolwedge the fact that it's way too soon for us to be doing this, so I'm like, "cool. drop her." He's like in that sense, yes. But she can come hang out with us. Dude, what the hell? It's one thing to have a girl as a friend. But it's another to have a chick be your friend who hits on you and likes you. I was like,"Matthew. I kno chicks. If she likes you then she's going otry and get you." I'm so not letting a Tom &Nicole thing happen between me and Matt. I can't let that happen. And If I suspect or even feel the slightest hint that theyre doing stuff, I swear-I'll fucking end this. And whats wrong wth him? I'M HOTTER!!! She's like not hot. Like seriously.. I don't know. I told him, "matthew just drop her. Then we'll all be cool. But no." I don't want to bitch fight with her or be rude, but for real. If I gotta fight to tell her to fuck off, I will. I endured all his long, pointless stories that mention one of his exes or girls . Like seriously, and Fiona says I talk about my ex alot. Fuck. The only reason why I'm talking about him nw is because Matt does. I'm wearing his ring. I swear, if that boy doesn't make this whole thing up to me and ditch this girl, then I dunno. I'm too tired. I'm just really tired and annoyed and scared and misrable. This is not cool. I wish I had some Mozzie boy music here. Sigh. Whatever. Gotta go. Maybe I should get a boy toy too and see how Matt feels about him. Like seriously, it was fun the first 5 seconds, but when she started eyeing him and stuff, he called me possesive. He called me possesive. What am I supposed to do after that? You know? Whatever. I wanna be Mattless for the next few enteries. I don't think he loves me like he says he does. He tries to show it by helping me, but then little things come up and he just ruins all the good stuff he did and leaves me with nothing. I feel nothingness now. I feel like I'm the biggest loser eve. I'm in competion with another chick over my own boyfriend! He's my boyfriend, my babe. MINE. He tried to make a big deal out of it and I was like thinking , "please, you stupid fuck. Dn't avoid the subject." Youre mine as in my babe. Grr... Ok. Time to be Mattless. Because really, he didn't call me back. He didn't leave me any message of some sort. Whatever. We'll see.
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