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Tuesday September 12, 06
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04:09 PM - Well, as I just love to talk about myself...
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I have been stacking up so many questionnaires that it would be silly to answer all of them. Therefore, I have picked my favourite questions and jumbled them up to make a new quiz. Cheers to everyone that I stole them off. :)
Are your parents married or divorced?
Divorced, thank God. The thought of them ever being married fills me with horror.
Vegetarian?
Vegan, dahling!
Piercings?
Six earrings. But nothing more; I find that the thought of anything else being pierced makes me go quite squirmy.
Do you speak to strangers?
No. Most certainly not. I find that if people talk to you in the street then they are either:
a) Mad
b) Slimy bastards
c) Genuinely nice
As the niceness has a one in three chance (actually, less than that- there aren’t many nice people around) you’re best off ignoring them. Like yesterday when a bloke said ‘hello’ to me on the bus. I looked away; his eyes were slightly glazed. My suspicions were confirmed when he sneezed in a way that no rational person ever would; he managed to spit everywhere- even backwards (on me).
Do you like candles?
I tend to get a bit out of hand with candles…I like to stick things in the flame, and do that thing where you swoop your finger through it so that it doesn’t hurt but leaves a big black mark. And dip each fingertip in the wax, to make finger hats.
Do you like the taste of blood?
Yes. :)
Do you believe in Heaven?
Can’t wait.
Do you believe in God?
Aye.
Last gift you received?
Hmm, I think that'd be a late birthday present from my aunt...'The Magic Christian' on DVD. Great film, BUY IT! I nearly wet myself laughing every time I watch it.
If you could give your parents one gift, what would you give them?
My mother: a greenhouse. My father: tact.
If you could have permanent possession of any single object in the world, what would it be?
Morrissey- mine...forever! Muhahaha!
If you had to name the worst job in the world what would it be?
Prostitute.
If you could put a new tattoo on someone you know, who would you pick, what would it be, and where would you put it?
'CUNT'. Right across their forehead!
Who do you love?
Mainly myself.
Who do you hate?
Funnily enough, that person with 'CUNT' tattooed across their forehead. Actually, I don’t even hate them...I just find them infuriating.
Disney character with whom you most identify?
Pinocchio. Eugh, my nose!
Preferred sleep position?
Oooh...lets think. It’s very exact, I suppose. Curled up on left side, left arm tucked between legs and right arm curled into top left corner of duvet.
Do you talk in your sleep?
Gibberish, apparently. (And when awake.)
Do you sing in the shower?
Yes. And dance.
Have you ever given money to a bum?
I buy them food so that they can’t spend the money on anything that I wouldn’t approve of!
Last sport you played?
Sorry? What was that? Sp...sp...sport? No, can’t say I know the word.
Where do you live?
The arse of the world. No, really! Or at least- the arse of Britain. I like to imagine Britain as a crouching animal, and I live on the sticky-out bit that looks like an arse.
Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
I prefer the stems to the ‘fairy bits’ (yes, it’s a technical term), because I always imagine that there are flies stuck in those bits.
Wear makeup?
Even if I’m not going out I’ll put it on. And you never know when postie might knock on the door. :) I guess it’s a comfort thing. The only problem is that I sometimes wear glasses now, and when I put my make-up on in the morning I can’t see myself very clearly (because I don’t have lenses in). It has had some comical results.
Pluck your eyebrows?
Yes. I don’t think the wolf look suits me.
Left handed, right handed, or ambi?
Originally ambi, now mostly lefty.
If you could describe the perfect body, how would you describe it?
No such thing. Bodies are rather ridiculous.
If you could create any one thing, no matter how expensive, what would it be?
What are you talking about? What has expense got to do with it?! Anyway, I suppose it’d be a novel that I’d like to create.
If you didn't have to work, what would you do?
I like to think that I’d ‘create’ that novel…but I have a sneaking suspicion that I would just watch Cash in the Attic a lot.
If you could tell your boss any one thing, would would you say?
You hired the wrong person. I’m completely shit!
If you died right now, what would be the first thing you'd want to see?
Nice big pearly gates!
If you could bathe in anyone's dirty bathwater, whose would it be?
Morrissey’s...like being baptised in holy water!
If you could be the king of something, what would it be?
England is mine...and Morrissey could be my Queen.
If you could be invisible for one hour, where would you do?
On the streets I would run...naked.
Future child(s) name?
Steven Patrick Morrissey Junior. :P
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Last gift you received?
Hmm, I think that'd be a late birthday present from my aunt...'The Magic Christian' on DVD. Great film, BUY IT! I nearly wet myself laughing every time I watch it.
LOL, Wildey! Coincidentally, I'd only JUST this afternoon recommended The Magic Christian to Poppycocteau! It's one of my top 10 favourite films too! So many hilarious scenes, indeed!
Speaking of films, I managed to see A Good Woman at your recommendation. I quite liked it too, good adaption of Lady Windermere's Fan. Helen Hunt as Mrs. Erlynne was perfect, don't you think? Very crafty!
BTW, great quiz/answers!