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Wednesday May 03, 06
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06:35 AM - The big gig review
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So: I am going to attempt writing up my FIRST MORRISSEY CONCERT EXPERIENCE. This is gonna be bloody long, sorry...
We set off at about half one. During the journey I keep checking the tickets, just in case I’ve brought the wrong ones.
We arrive at about 3.15. A few people have started queuing, so we too stake our claim. I sit waiting patiently with my foil-wrapped tomato, tomato pâté and salad cream sandwiches. WE NEARLY FREEZE OUR ARSES OFF. Fortunately we are relieved of some of the misery with frequent toilet and coffee breaks. (I almost split myself in two trying to get over the queue barrier- stumpy legs aren’t great for climbing over tall things like that. I am quite impressed that I didn’t kick anyone’s head in.) Someone in the queue mentions m-solo. I would say something, but...y’know, I’m not the sort of person who likes joining other people’s conversations. At about half five, a lady turns up and hangs around at the front of the queue. Someone mentions Julia, and I assume this is she. I stare at her in awe (and jealousy): she is a celebrity in my eyes.
Just after six, before we are let in, we are told NOT to bring meat into the venue- loads of people snigger at this, but I am proud of Morrissey. When they open the barriers, we rush through and are repeatedly told “DO NOT RUN!”...So we attempt to walk at running speed. We’re then made to queue some more. Then more very fast ‘walking’ into the hall. I am actually really nervous at this stage. MORRISSEY!
I get a good place: second row behind the barrier, to the right of Morrissey. Unfortunately I have to put up with someone who appears to be attempting to dance into my place. I have to spend the whole gig with them grinding their body into me (even in the frigging intervals!), but I stand strong: you will not get the better of me! I decide to myself that if they do get my place I will have to kill them.
First act: Kristeen Young. Strong voice, but it’s so bloody overdramatic that I think I am about to go into a coma at one point. Someone shouts ‘You’re awful! Get off!’ and a security guy who clearly thinks he is a joker pretends to be injecting himself with drugs and hanging himself. Second act: Sons and Daughters, great! Pretty lady, pretty man in the band.
Then, finally...Morrissey. I would write a detailed analysis of what he did, but I’ve said a lot of it already and so have other people. I thought I was going to collapse when he came on- this is the real man IN THE FLESH. I really cannot put into words how weird it is for me to see him when he has occupied my thoughts so much…and here he is, a few metres away from me. Fuck. And when he stands in front of me I try to soak up the image of him, of his lovely blue eyes- but then he’s prancing off to the other side of the stage too soon. He is beautiful .
When he sings ‘Girlfriend in a Coma’ I am delighted; the band plays it so fabulously, and I feel joy. ‘To Me You Are a Work of Art’ is beautiful, and I hope Morrissey realises that the audience really is singing it to him. But my highlight: Trouble Loves Me. Good gracious. During this song I get that feeling: I want to die. Right now, in this moment because this is so intense. I am worried that my heart might explode.
It amazed me how...well, how fucking incredible his voice was! I was expecting it to be good, but that good? I could never have hoped for that!
And despite what everyone else said, I myself was not crushed. (Apart from one incident with some berk who managed to crush everyone against the barrier for a bit.) I was actually surprised at how lacklustre the audience seemed- I expected more from a Morrissey crowd. I obviously wasn’t in the mental bit. I got shoved back only a little, and only a couple of heads obstructed my view at some points. (For goodness’ sake, people! Don’t spike your hair up or wear big hats at concerts! Have pity on the small people!)
I didn’t mind the short setlist- any longer and I really would have exploded. I can understand why some people have moaned about a few things (it’s a little sad that he missed out ten years of great music), but this is life- you don’t get perfection. And you just saw MORRISSEY. One of the greatest men that ever lived. I have waited ages for this, and I am grateful for the experience.
But ever since I have just felt sad. It’s over.
At least I have King's Lynn.
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There's nothing beats seeing HIM in the flesh is there? Absolutely nothing on Earth!
Thanks for the exemplary review and commentary of the show and of the whole experience.
Hope it's the first of many to come.
Take care,
Sherman.