1) Are your parents married or divorced?
They seem to be married.

2) Vegetarian?
Meat is murder.

3) Heaven?
Or Las Vegas?
(I doubt I'll ever make the list.)

4) Come close to dying?
Good God, smother me, mother . . .

5) What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
6 silver rings. (You see, I'm never alone, never alone).

6) Are you eating?
No, I'm not . . . butI suppose I should soon. My fingers are twitching.

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Yes. Also the roots and leaves.

8) Wear makeup?
No. Clowns put me off it when I was a very small person.

9) Were you usually the dumper or the dumpee in your past?
I have a past? I'm just grateful you told me - I was beginning to wonder.

10) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Is there a point? Heaven knows we'll soon be dust.

11) What do you wear to bed?
Nothing. Nightclothes enrage me. I like freedom of movement (especially in the event of a fire).

12) Have you ever done anything illegal?
I've never done anything whatsoever.

13) Can you roll your tongue?
It's one of my few skills.

14) Pluck your eyebrows?
(Why meddle with a masterpiece?)

15) What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
Fob and chain.

16) Abortion?
I think pregnancy is necessary for that, which I don't quite agree with either.

17) Hair color?
Misty buff (according to Dulux colour card 4097).

18) Future child(s) name?
Nobody's nothing.

19) Do you snore?
How does one tell?

20) If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where?
Anywhere with a decent bus service.

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
*smiles* A small persimmon called Morrissey.

22) If you won the lottery, what would you do?
The lottery is horrific, so it would never happen but for the sake of this 'excercise', I'd buy houses for the people who would find them quite useful, pay for operations for people who couldn't afford them, give it to those who actually need it - it's a seething, scheming world.

23) Gold or silver?
Both, with a bronze shield and military musket.

24) Hamburger or hot dog?
*glowers balefully*

25) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
Oats and chocolate milk. I'd soon die of scurvy, so I wouldn't have to put up with it for too long.

26) Beach, city, or country?
Well, certainly not the beach: it is quite horrid - all that sand.

27) Who was the last person you touched?
A woman who knocked into me in an otherwise deserted street. I placed my hand on her shoulder, and apologised. She said 'It's alright, love', and went on her way, stoop shouldered. Is all life sad?

28) Where do you eat?
In my bedroom in those 'ugly new houses'.

29) When's the last time you cried?
Last night. (Why? Look around you - why not?)

30) Have you loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
Frequently.

31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
I not a firm believer in there being an opposite sex . . . but I'm a fool for a black suit, on anybody at all.

32) Ever been involved with the police?
They can't catch me.

33) Believe in Santa?
I believe in Edward Scissorhands.

34) Do you talk in your sleep?
I don't speak. I sing.

35) Beach or pool?
Ugh.

36) Can you cross your eyes?
No, and I can't seem to uncross them either.

37) What's your favorite song at the moment?
You can't make me choose, I refuse, I won't have it: is it even possible? ('Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep'?)

38) Window seat or aisle?
Luggage holder.

39) Ever met any famous bands/singers?
Define fame . . . because it can play hideous tricks on the brain, you know.

40) Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship?
Too close to home, too near the bone.

41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
I wrestle with it briefly before flinging to to Cerberus, my three-headed dog.

42) Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Both, so I can bang their heads together.

43) Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?
I make a point of never admitting to anything. It's very useful.

44) How long does your shower last?
Forty-six minutes, and then there is the matter of rolling about luxuriantly on twelve towels until dry.

45) Do you drive stick?
Pardon?

46) Cake or ice cream?
You're making me blush . . .

47) Self-conscious?
It's hard to be when there isn't even a self.

48)What time do you get up?
I don't. Or if I do, I just smile and say' Goodnight . . .'.

49) Have you ever given money to a bum?
I resent that description.

50) When was your first crush?
There never was one . . .

51) Where do you wish you were?
In the corner of your room (can you hear me?)

52) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I don't have the requisite equipment.

53) Ever been given a ring?
  . . . a napkin ring.

54)Longest relationship?
Over the telephone? Thirty-two minutes.

55) Last gift you received?
The kindness of strangers.

56) Last sport you played?
Remaining motionless under a quilt for as long as humanly possible. (I am so really, really young).

57). Things you spend a lot of money on?
Education. Perhaps one day it will even have an effect. But one rather doubts it.

58) Where do you live?
A mean melancholy street. I was born here, I was braised here, and shall continue to take some stick here.
(What would I change? Nothing. Home might be a question mark, but it's the only one I could imagine having).

59) High school you attended:
Bad mistake . . .

60) Last wedding attended:
A friend, and long may it last.

61) Favorite fast food restaurant:
Howwwww COULD you?

62) Where do you work:
In the bar, with my head on the bar.

63) Can you cook?
Well, I can try . . .

64) Most hated food:
Obviously flesh of any sort . . . but that goes without saying. Custard has always seemed repulsive.

65) Can you sing?
Only when there's nobody listening.

66) Last concert attended:
Morrissey. *is lost again*

67) Last kiss?
Oscar, and now he has gone home *pouts*.

68) Favorite Alcoholic drink:
Oh, vile.

69) Current Crush?
*splutters* Dearie me . . .