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05:11 PM
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"The Future is Passing Me By"
I appreciate those who had responded to my last journal entry, I have made you my "friends", as a part of this new Moz-solo change, that took me forever to figure out. I'm not good with change. I really appreciate David Tseng, Sharron Needles, Marisela, Sullen and others for your interest, concern, candor and good humor. If you were interested, and waiting for me to write again soon, sorry I made you wait. I'll try to do better. I have only been one of these three things in recent months: Extremely busy, Extremely depressed, or in an Extremely anti-internet mood. So now you're updated. Mid-life crisis continues. I began the crisis at age 2. I'm 29 now.
I love Morrissey. He's the best. I'm so inspired by him! His music is the best(including the Smiths). I'm sure my fascination with him is not healthy, but who gives a fuck, right? Have you ever seen conspiracy theory? Well, there are parts in the movie when Mel Gibson's character cannot go into or leave a bookstore without compulsively buying a copy of Salinger's "Catcher in the Rye." This is how I feel about Morrissey, well, maybe not to that extreme, but I cannot search or leave a music store unless I've checked both the Smiths and Morrissey sections first! This, I do without fail. And I've been doing it for years. I feel kind of embarrassed about it, but I do love Morrissey. Sadly, this is not the same for Johnny Marr, but I do respect, appreciate and love Marr too, just not like Morrissey. Call me crazy.
My Life? Well...what can I say. I hate my job. I'm too afraid to look for something else. I want to be famos, but so does everyone else. I wish I was rich. I can only delight in the small riches of life. I'm still in love, even though I'm a bastard at times. I'm still alive, which, well...anyway... Everything is relative, isn't it? I continue to be "stuck" in Southern California, but I guess I shouldn't be so ungrateful? Some people would give their left arm to be or live here, so... But I can't help the way I feel.. I'd like to leave. I just...would like somthing different, more, I guess? I don't know. My middle name is Indecisive and it has done me NO GOOD to be that way. Anyway...blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Top 10 Things Prominent In My Life:
10. Sex
9. Money
8. The Future
7. Time
6. My Mind
5. Music
4. My Health
3. My Hates
2. Morrissey
1. My Loves
[That was a weird list. Wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. Let's try this...]
Top 5 list of Musical Artists:
5. The Bravery
4. James Maker
3. New York Dolls
2. Johnny Marr
1. Morrissey
Songs: I'm Unbearable (James Maker)
Patience (Guns N' Roses)
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of time
we stand upon
tenuousground
in these violent
fatuous
times
in times like this
fame
is a waste of time.
good luck jim.