I envy people who have fancy job titles. I've never done anything important with my life and every day I wander around with question marks floating above my head. I look around me and I wonder how things were built. I wonder how people get the knowledge they have to do the things they do. I often ask, rhetorically, "How can I learn how to be an engineer? a contractor? a lawyer? a surgeon? a certified public accountant?" And then I consider all the classes I have to take and tests I have to study for to gain the knowledge for these occupations and I feel discouraged. Every college class I complete is a struggle. I've spent many hours in classrooms listening to boring lectures and studying about stuff I don't care about. And in exchange for this I hope to get a job. I have wasted so many years of my life...it makes me sick to think about it. I had no real goals or direction in my youth. I really didn't want to do anything. But now I have a goal. And I'm not going to reach this goal unless I learn to be patient. By nature, I am impatient. I want to get everything done today, if possible. And if I can't do that, I want to get everything done in one year. I'm tired of low wage jobs. All my life I've had low wage jobs. That's why I'm motivated to finish the college classes I'm taking. Sometimes I think about getting a bachelor's degree and then going to graduate school. It's nice to dream about such things but the reality of it makes me angry. I don't even have an associate degree yet and here I am thinking about getting a master's degree in something. I often fantasize about these lofty goals without considering the effort I need to put into achieving them. Like, today I looked at a website about real estate attorneys and I thought it would be cool to become one. But do I really want to take 30-40 more college classes & study for the bar exam to reach that goal? I don't think so...maybe...I don't know. It's hard for me to do all this academic stuff, and, in addition to that, college is expensive! It seems like everything I want in life is at the top of Mt. Everest. It seems like this world was specifically created for "mountain climbers" while the rest of the human race is doomed to exist in the dark canyons below. And the canyon dwellers fight over anything of value that the mountain climbers toss into that canyon.