You know, the perfect 24 hours should include sex before sleep, sex after waking up, an evening of VERY dirty sado-masochistic sex followed by being cooked a gorgeous meal, all topped off by Thorntons chocolates. Unfortunately work filled in the middle section but with a home life like that I can live with it!

It feels good to get my security sorted. I wanted to qualify in my profession so I had a relatively stable high income, car, pension and something I could move in and out of. Now I just need to figure out what I REALLY want to do. What will that be? Pass. I dunno, but I'd like it to include my favourite things: writing, glamour and sex. Hmm. Writer for Cosmo? LOL! I dunno. I think I could do something net-based, a website or something. I'm too burnt out with the study at the mo to think it through properly but come next summer I hope to have some ideas.

Still considering the nipple piercing. I've been meaning to get it done at xmas so I have 2 weeks off to recover. I'm just worried that if it doesn't heal well it's gonna be very painful when working. Then again, if I'm gonna have it done now's the time. And I want a gothic tattoo on the small of my back but still haven't found a design. God I really need to lose weight. I just keep eating, it's terrible.

I think I'm decided on the Vectra 1.8 SXi - it has a CD player and alloy wheels and stuff. It's kind of a culture shock having all this luxury after an adult life of struggle. It still doesn't seem real. I hate being in this state of unsettlement. I don't know which office I'll be in yet. It will make a HUGE difference to my life - the travelling distance, my colleagues, my surroundings. If any of these things are negative then I'll be miserable and I just can't face another year dealing with depression. I know fate will deal with it but it's all very scary.

Anyway I can't type any more. Lots of love, and thanks for your comments (except Jacques who is a wee Scottish bastard and needs a good hard...... spanking).

Lou xxxxx