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Northern Bird (4363)
Northern Bird
(email not shown publicly) I left the North, I travelled South.... Hello! lou, 30, living in North London with the luscious Rallen, but originally from the North West. A girl with a thorn in my side, my main loves are good food, fine wine, BDSM and cats. Semi-retired from Moz-solo, I check in occasionally to check the journals of good friends. Not drowning anymore... Journal of Northern Bird (4363)Thursday November 06, 03
bleughhhh, again06:00 AM
Well you'd think I'd be ecstatic wouldn't you. So would I. But I'm not. Far from it. I feel terrible. I feel sick and depressed and deflated. I can't seem to get a grip. First the work thing. I wrote my questions and answers down from my assessment and sent them to my big boss. He said that both he and the Technical Director would have passed me. So I pretty much know I've passed. I now have about 6 weeks to brush up on actually doing the job, which is fine. Second I've booked my holidays, 28th Nov off for the S&G, and two whole weeks off over xmas. That'll be so brilliant as I can see my friends and family, stay with Rallen's family for a few days, have a couple of days at the London sales and then spend new year with Chris & Rach in the New Forest. So you see (so you see) I should be so happy. But I feel so terribly tired and down. Added to that I feel sick a lot of the time. I feel delicate, like I want to hide away and be alone. I'm not even that bothered about sex. Oh yes friends, it's that serious. Two shit things have brought me down too. Firstly I got a parking ticket for parking outside my flat, but next to another car. Cunt warden couldn't even be arsed to ring my buzzer (a walk of 6 feet) to tell me to move it. I didn't even realise it was illegal. £50 wasted. Second I've been waiting for my parcel from Torrid which I know was delivered into the country on 28th October. Finally got a letter today saying I had to pay £52 in VAT and customs charges. I just don't know what the FUCKING point is of being a good person. They didn't make this much effort trying to find the people who broke into my car in March, or stole everything I had of worth from my flat in June. In Great Britain folks you are ALWAYS penalised for being a decent citizen. FUCKING FUCKING BASTARD CUNTS. Yes I know I'm moaning when there's nothing actually terribly wrong, but I'm tired and the constant nausea is rather hard to deal with. I want to be looked after, but my mother is several thousand miles away (not that she would anyway) and I don't have a boyfriend. I know I have Rallen, my best friend, but it's not quite the same as having someone who's totally devoted to you. He has other demands on his time. I'm going to make some lunch now then I have to go back to work. Another depressing thing - back to 8am rises and home at 6pm lol. I miss study leave. Lou
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Such is life Darling... (Score:1)
I know exactly where you are coming from though Lou. I seemed to get more pleasure and reward from life when i was nasty and deceiving and generally a criminal and not a very nice person.
Year(s) on im a changed person but life still has the habit of consistently pissing on my strawberries!
Like my hero says:-
" Ive spent my whole life in ruins, because of people who are nice ! "
Chin up and huggies soon (Hopefully)
Wardy xxx
(User #4901 Info)
On the up-side... (Score:1)
(User #8548 Info)
the sods! (Score:1)
You must try to fill your head with positive things, my dear. Like the Star and Garter and your New Year in the New Forest (VERY posh).
I'm crap at leaving comments, but thank you so much for your kind comments. You're a fantastic person, you're a rock n' roll star, I'm sure you've heard it all before bla bla bla.
Keep on being you!
x
(User #8102 Info)