Hello. Well yesterday was quite good really. Had to go to the Ealing office (West London yuk) to train on right-to-buy valuations. Spent the day with a lovely guy looking at flats and houses. I'll be doing them myself soon, yikes. I then went out in Islington for cocktails with the girls from work. It was such a laugh!! We ended up comparing cleavages and talking about the merits of sex with women lol. We then left that bar and went onto a typical pub, which is always a good idea. Got talking to a group of lads and had such a laugh. My mate Kat pulled the gorgeous one which was great as her confidence has been low recently. I did my usual keeping the lads entertained with a combination of put-downs/rudeness/football knowledge. I was told I was crude! Me? Crude! Lol. And scary! Well maybe. Southern men just can't handle Northern birds, like one of them said - a Southern girl would have just told them to fuck off. I engaged in banter and flirting with them and we all had a damn good laugh.

Got home around midnight and went into the chatroom. 4 of my dearest friends were in there and I stayed till 3am having laughs and good conversation. I don't care what people say I fucking love that chatroom, and the people in there are always there for me.

Got a very surprising email last night from my Mum. Seems like they're bored in Spain and have decided to come home!!! Like OH MY GOD!!! I haven't had any contact with her for about 4 weeks so it was totally out of the blue. I'm pissed off a bit coz I told them over and over that this would happen and they shouldn't sell their house yet, but they wouldn't listen. Anyway she says they have no regrets and will be home in May. Part of me is delighted coz I'm missed them just SO much. It will be wonderful to be able to pick up the phone and speak to them whenever I want. So I've got to find a flight to Spain and quick to make the most of it! Lol.

My friend is still excited about moving down to London and moving in. I just hope he can find the confidence to start applying for some jobs so he can get down here soon! The flat will become free in 6-8 weeks and I need him here. I just can't tell you how much I can't wait for this.

In other news, I'm talking to J again. Yes the one who hurt me and fucked me about. So I'm a sucker, I'm a Libran I can't help it. We're strictly friends though. It feels weird though, I can't say I'm completely comfortable with it. Sometimes I feel I can't believe a word he says. I don't know, it's all weirdness. I think it's because there's still this spark there between us, but I don't want there to be and there's not enough trust. So it's all conflicting feelings I guess.

I had a nightmare last night, and it was a damn long one. What I remember best is that this guy had decided he was gonna kill me, and was walking/driving round with me with a gun in my back. I had to do exactly what he said. It was so horrible.

I want to get my tattoo done but I don't have the time! Grrr. Lol.

Special love to Gethin, Rallen and Matt xx