Morrissey-solo
Archive

Northern Bird (4363)

Northern Bird
(email not shown publicly)
I left the North, I travelled South.... Hello! lou, 30, living in North London with the luscious Rallen, but originally from the North West. A girl with a thorn in my side, my main loves are good food, fine wine, BDSM and cats. Semi-retired from Moz-solo, I check in occasionally to check the journals of good friends. Not drowning anymore...

Journal of Northern Bird (4363)

Wednesday March 05, 03

Help me

10:03 PM

Well it's 5am and I'm here, trying to work. I completely fucking wasted yesterday and I'm so SO angry and sickened at myself. I hate myself with a passion. I'm so fucking pathetic and useless. I need to get a damn grip and fast. I'm fucking up opportunities I've prayed for and for what. I actually understand self-harming right now, I can think of nothing better than getting a blade and slicing slowly up my arm, just to see it and feel the pain. Yeah well maybe I am talking shit, and please don't waste your time leaving a comment as I'm self-pitying and just not worth it, trust me.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out and I've been torturing myself with it and I need to get this FUCKING work done. I'm all shaky and feel terrible, just even been sick with the worry. I'm so GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.
Help me | Top | 3 comments | Search Discussion
Display Options Threshold/Breakthrough:
The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
  • I love you.
    Anonymous -- Thursday March 06 2003, @12:06AM (#55393)
  • so hard to say what a natural reaction is in this unnatural world of work and stress and the anxiety that comes with just trying to figure out what to do with ourselves. for some strange reason we turn to bloodletting as a sort of exorcism. since ancient times, even. we think it helps at first, but then there are those ugly marks to make us feel self conscious and crazy. its like a self-imposed scarlet letter. that's another way these journals come in handy. we can sort out our feelings, write about it rather than doing it, and hold on to our friends.

    xx
    melaise821 <reversethis-{ten ... ta} {romllig.m }> -- Thursday March 06 2003, @02:33AM (#55401)
    (User #6304 Info)
    keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile
  • I'm feeling exactly the same way at this point in time...
    JacquesTheLad -- Thursday March 06 2003, @04:49PM (#55437)
    (User #3569 Info | http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/handinglove)
    "She doesn't even like me...And I know because she said so..."

[ home | terms of service ]