Hey guys. Well with your love and support I think I'm getting through this. I feel a lot better today, although I'm still disgusted with myself. However it was a lesson I needed to learn, and friends I learned it well.

So now I'm trying to focus on all the fun I'll be having in December. Plus I've arranged to go to Spain to see my parents in January. I don't know what happens to me, I just go waaaaaaaaaaay down and can't rationalise. Don't get me wrong, I still feel sad deep down, but on the surface I'm happier so that's good.

Have NO plans for the weekend again. This is not good. I asked some friends out and they all have other plans. Hmmmm. Texted A to see if he wanted to watch the Big Match on Sunday and he didn't reply (that's Liverpool V Man Utd non-footie fans!) Oh well, fuck him. And he sent me such a nice email yesterday as well. I think he just wants to shag me.

It's hilarious, I used to complain that men don't find me sexually attractive, now quite a lot do and it's getting on my nerves! There's this other guy who is lovely and I really like him as a friend, but he has some kind of feelings for me, even though he barely knows me, and I don't know what to do. I am NOT capable of any relationship, and I cannot get emotionally involved with anyone at the moment. It just feels like another worry, another complication, and I can't cope with any more of those!

I am SO bad at phoning people. I'm meant to phone my Nan and I haven't. I'm going to phone her now.

Night night wonderful friends.

GDxx