Hello everyone. What's the title about? Well, I just have this FEELING that A and C are reading my journal. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It just feels weird. I wish A wasn't reading it, and I have no proof he is, but I don't want to hurt him.

So why do I think this? He's just been really distant, not texting. He did send me one last night to say have a good weekend, but before that he hadn't sent one for 2 days. Also I noticed he's been on the message board more than usual, so he's visiting the site more, maybe he's been checking my latest entry. Or maybe I'm paranoid and he's just been reading the Brixton reviews. I just have this FEELING! As for Matt, I just know. But that's ok anyway as I like him and trust him and have nothing to hide. I want him to be a friend and I tell my friends everything anyway.

So I went out last night with a friend from work. Instead of the indie venue or gay bars I usually frequent, I went to a 'normal' bar. I even dressed relatively girly, but with a gothic twist of course! So this guy she is seeing turned up with a mate of his. I told her I could see it was a set up even before he turned up so I wasn't surprised!

This guy was quite cute actually. South African, 6'2", cute face, funny. Anyway let's just say we went to my flat to collect my friends bag and phone a taxi, and he stayed! I tried to tell him 'no' loads of times but he kept kissing my neck! Then he touched me *there* and damn it felt so good to be touched by someone, someone who wanted me. So he spent the night!

Now this is NOT something I do but it didn't feel wrong. Turned out to be a fantastic experience for me, emotionally and physically. I'm not really that interested in anything with him, he didn't even know about Moz! He looked round at the posters and said 'WHAT is he?' So I said 'A beautiful, intelligent...... GOD!' And he said, 'No, is he a writer, actor, singer?' Hahaha. Oh dear. Though I guess he's not big in South Africa to be fair.

So the whole thing was wonderful, what an amazing lover. He enjoyed giving ME pleasure, took his time and gave me sensations I didn't know existed. I don't want to gross anyone out so I'll leave it at that! I feel quite good today, refreshed almost. Maybe a damn good fuck WAS all I needed!!!!

All love,

GDx