I got to a point when I wanted you more then you were willing to give.
But now we will go separate ways, for we have our lives to live.
I will cherish the bond we shared.
For I do realize that this friendship was real, blemished and intact.
I wish I could turn back time, for I know I neglected our friendship, somehow.
I will always be a friend to you.
For I shared sincere smiles and laughter's and even my sadness es.
I will never doubt you in my heart,
Our fight has become a painless scar.
Our friendship is disappearing like an echo in the night.
What shall I do?
Shall I take courage and try to make it right?
It is hard to lose such a friend.
But hurting you is my worst fear.
If such a case I do not matter.

((Isn't it amazing how we can go through so much emotions at certain points in our lives..
I sure remember when I wrote this! haha
Yes This I Love..That is a song by Guns N Roses))

I'm listening to Pierre by The Dresden Dolls..:)
I have been up to much in my life and well I think I want to talk about it..After all you are My Journal:)..
I've Had it pretty hard at times But I am Happy I have gone and tried my best.. I Love with a Passion and I can hate just as much.. I guess this makes me a Libra..Yeah..
I have had M In My Heart and he has has mine in his.
How is that possible?
My life has taken me through some great people, In work family and friends..
Now I find myself loving.. I have loved for a long time and I have had to go through some great changes. But It's worth It to me.
Haha I am listening to Guns N Roses.."sweet child of mine.."
Right on..
I met a man today he just moved into town..Pretty cool he is involved with the Art scene here in Long Beach..But is actually from London.. I had a meeting with The Art world tonight.. I met the Council man, I thought that was pretty cool..
And Antonio Ruiz Is just an awesome man.I highly respect his work and I love his family..Fine respectable, people very opened minded and a son that inspires..Nice..
I seen Jane Galloway which is also, a very creative and inspiring artist..It was a pleasure to see her tonight.
And, Well as I was trying to put it here well I know M will read this......
you have my heart so give it back! haha Oh Just hurry up and call me.
anyhow... I have to go to sleep soon. I work tomorrow and well I have a lot to talk about at work and with The Cook!:)
lol. well ......That is another story I must write about!
Anyhow Here is another song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjto02iDNZA&NR=1

Now this is cool...:)
Love this song!

I close my eyes and bring my mind to ease,visioning myself on a beach. It is quiet,It's consistent.
To just, be..
I'm walking through the whirls of the wind as they're carrying me down the shoreline..
Opening my arms I spin and dance with the wind.
Feeling free and my souls uplifting.
I stop and look to my right as the oceans inviting me in..
Glancing above, I see the sun as it holds no prejudice against me..
Sharing all of its warmth,I continue to walk on this peaceful sand..While my hair leaves my shoulders to fly free in the wind,as my body absorbs the salty air.
I dream myself into your arms,where I gatherd a sense of security.
The touch of your hand to mine,is something I will never forget..
Its that special feeling I cherish so much in my heart..
I open my mind to where I want to be.
Nothing seems more right,than here with you.
Soon the alarm goes off and my eyes open..
Its was a dream..
One spent with you..@---

(1..2...1,2,3,4)
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(inhale) Patience...
Ooh, oh, yeah

Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it ...little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah,
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more pati... (ence, yeah)
I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah)
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience, yeah)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
Ooh, this ti- me....

Wow! I have been going through what is called a life.
I tell you all these crazy emotions I have been living through is what I call receiving knowledge.
There is at the time a lot of people in my life..
If must be!
I notice it now because I have been so
used to being such a hermit in my life..lol
Oh well,
I can say it is all good.
Family Love and Patience..
this has been in my life these days...
Is it possible for it all to work out?
I have met this very nice guy.
I'll call him B.. If anyone knows about life living losing and yet surviving it all, Its just something that I admire very much.
I think we can actually work it out.
All he wants is to settle down.
I think he is done..I suppose we all have to grow up sometime! haha
Plus, if we really Analise what we are going through, it only,, really can only, make us stronger.. right?
Well, my point of view is making myself better.
All the time..I have been a certain way all my life.. It made me happy so!!! To the bat mobile!
After all I also deserve to be happy...
Oh yeah, this very special gentleman in my life reminds me so much of M and in many ways he reminds me of him.
I hope M Is in the best of health. I know it is very difficult for him to be paying for what he done.
But He truly is a survivor.
I shall always care.

I can truly say that B makes feel at home..
Makes me... smile :)
haha Another song is coming up..
Which has nothing to do with what I was saying.
But I really like this song by Lily Allen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZyTOROlo9E

today was a hard day at work..
This heat is enough to make a mad man Mad!LOL
or women
Or beast! haha
Yet the Sun has gone down and soon it will be night...
Wow I can hardly wait till winter here.

Marisela

Something to reminds me.
Oh right!
Patience!

Crazy Hat Day with the Nephews..:)
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/101/l_baf3dbeb1608405ea91532aee0f2be1c.jpg

This is Morrissey's

Just at the right time in my time.
I Miss M Soooo much.
I shall always Truly Love you.
Know this is true.
I believe we will always be lost.
Somehow.
We have been apart for so long ,yet our very souls always take us back to those special moments we spent together.
Going to the library,
Watching football
reading and singing.
I melt to think how you sang to me each night
so that I could fall to sleep.
How I felt so safe in your arms.
There was no madness.
Just me being moody.
Yet you were patient with me.
You write to me and tell me you love me.
You have my heart.
But as this song says my sun has gone.
You will know where to find me.
I am here. At the Port.
I'm still lost only because my you have my heart..Come find me.
I shall be waiting.

Sweetie Pie
I've fallen in love
And the joke is on me
And the sun's given up
I'm depending on you
To see I get safely to
The port where my heart
Is too lost to find
And will be there to meet you when it's your time

Sweetie Pie
I'm ending my life
Because I've fallen in love
And nothing is enough
I'm depending on you
To see I get safely to
The port where my heart
Is too lost to find
And will be there to meet you when it's your time

Sweetie Pie
How I feel in my mind
And how I live in the world
They are oceans apart
I'm depending on you
To see I get safely to
The port where my heart
Is too lost to find
And will be there to meet you when it's your time

Truly Yours
Marisela

Ah, to write!

Alright this is the end Of My Journal dayz of writing in my journal.. Jamie and Anna Have spoiled it.

Sad Numbnuts.

What a great thing to happen.. Especially at this time of such economical crises,voting and War war war war!..
http://www.imaginepeace.com/news.html

Yoko Ono began a project a long time ago in honor of John Lennon,
Such a Loyal women.

lol, I sure remember me not liking Yoko Ono when I was a little girl. As a child you tend to read very superficially and listen to what other adults have to say.Oh and I listened carfully! uggg
Unfortunately I was moved by many closed minded people..
People not accepting change, with little or no inspiration about life and careing for our earth, running with technology and such.
I was born in a time of much racism and I did get to see many things while growing up.
I was raised in the middle of East Los Angeles where we had terrible riots. Much oh so much Confusion!
I am a flower child. I suppose I find pride in that much. I was born in a time where History will always see as a time of change and transitions.

The Beatles were always a hit in my home. My mom loved Rock and Roll,I was growing up in the 70's Imagine..
"Imagine" is a song by John Lennon, which appears on his 1971 album, Imagine.

I was just a tater tot!:)
Yet, I remember my uncle Ralph going to vietnam.Then my eldset brother went to the Army in hmm 1974.. Vietnam was over. Thank God the sky the Air the trees the energy many of us had to be warriors.
I also can remember the times. Music, television, fashion..
I must have been in kindergarten.. Wow I remember sitting on the porch waiting for the mailman to get there so as to get the mail..haha I just remembered receiving that special letter with a picture of my uncle Ralph,, Ralph Masias. Very good looking uncle.. I knew he was a Hero!
lol
I guess I have always liked mail.
Now we have Computers!
And I have so much spam that It gets just as bad as sitting in front of the Tele now a days with a million commercials being forced into my brain! Uggg
I hate having soooo much propaganda..
But, I guess it is best to keep up then to have to ketch up! lol
Silly joke....
Anyhow, Now I have the privileged to keep Up with This wonderful artist Yoko Ono through myspace.. This was the reason John fell so in love with Yoko Ono. She has true passion strong willed and determined to make a statement.Her statements are oh just so easy.. so easily understood.. None of the beating around the bush sort of things.. Original yet no not original.. well yes but. easy to understand yet deep and easy to swallow. Nothing forced!...
I truly admire her for her Loyalty and determination to make us better human beings.
For wanting and hoping and being the Human being that is so needed.
We all need Inspiration ..
Inspiration and hope to move on.
I mean how terrible are we. We can bomb and destroy life and living so easily.
this earth can be destroyed easily by man now up to 5 times.. Yet we only need one push of a button..
What a sad sad world..
We are worse then animals. We want to kill each other.
**It takes Guts to be gentle and kind***..
Yes, Viva Morrissey, for that!

Power comes to those from with in. Not from being harsh and racist and arrogant and not careing There is power that can detroy and power that can inspire our souls..
It comes from love.
A special love that comes from adding all we have all our being and existence into this outer shell of skin,this motivation which is called Love.

I want to give Peace a chance..
Yes, I must hope and trust and walk in paths where many are learning oh so many things in life. Some good some bad....
I shall make it a point to share something special today, tomorrow and well always.. I shall try my best.I shall not give up. For I have learned so much in my life that. Yes It keep me grounded, somehow I am still here like a plant that has wilted needs water and I get it when things like this come my way..:)
I feel very happy and honored to know what I know,
today.

I take the cue from certain people I know!:)

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Imagine+peace+tower&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title

hmm
We cannot erase what should have been the future all along.
What was done had to be done.
I hope to have the courage for it all to be done.
Just done!
hmm Just Done?....:/
nooo
Done.

Yes. we have kept in touch.
I would have done almost anything to make things right.
Yet, it was best to do what had to be done.
we can be proud.

We have put ourselves in many situations just to make things that mattered then, fall easily into place.
It was bound to happen.
Some things just take time.
We may be regretful about making that certain move.
Yet, we had to and then try move on.
To make the best of it.
I feel I have, and it makes me, oh, so unsure.
Yet, the feeling I had then, well I realized a long time ago. That It has been unblemished, untouched and protected,by us.
It is deep in my heart of hearts, yes.
I ask myself why?
I always seem to believe
that I need time anyhow, Why?
When you talk about us. Getting serious.
I get so frantic.
All the bottles up feelings that have come in since seem to surf up. I remember the need of holding that unique feeling.
I have cried and I smiled about it.
I have Loved!
Yet,I let little things out that have been layered and stored on top of this confused heart.
Resentment, yes.
Seem to surface, first! Ugg
So, I shall dig and move and just try and let it all be chewed up and spit like bad seed.
It is happiness that I am sure we deserve.
What matters most,I feel that.
Yes so alive and comforting, yes Intact.
What I have stored deep in my heart should be the only thing to surface.
Yes,
It all can mend. Why,did I have to store it so deep?
What there is, is very special obviously.
It's a feeling of somethings very shiny small special and unique.
Like that pearl so talked about.
This is why,
I have always been a sucker for the little things.
Because most of the time they are,what really matters.
Yes I'd love to.
I know that it has been my strength
and what comforts me dayzz and nights.
Yes, it is deep ,stored, and yet alive.
I'm now afraid to lose it.
I just need your part in it to feel it is all ok.
I do live in a fairytale world and I am happy to have such an imagination.
But, it's time to make it real.
We both are most afraid of the "what if".
It is not really what if in a good sense?
No, Not I.
Yet,we know that I am in you and you are in me.
It is something small yet very special and unique that we have held it deep with in.
I know that just a spark can make a ray of light!.
One that can gives splendor and delight to many eyes and hearts.
But it has to be the exact mixture,
yes, we both have it.
As we experienced.
Can we, will we?
Are we to caught up in not giving it a shot?
C mere..because I still cannot move on. No matter what life has brought along the way.
What is unique has to prevail.

I'm mentally tired..

I have never been so tired.

Tired Of Life and living..

It can Only change , right Marisela?

It can get better and has , right Marisela?

I am far to focused on the negative...NOT a good thing..
I know me.

wow 7 years now...9/11