M-in-Oz (13934)

M-in-Oz
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Journal of M-in-Oz (13934)

Sunday May 11, 08

wanderlust or just lust?

02:47 AM

I thought it all had been going kind of ok in my realtionship again..(although I knew that I was ignoring some problems) but today the same old stuff came up again. He was feeling frustrated by his domestic life and wanted freedom. I began to sing "but the heart feel free..." as in emergency I always qoute Morrissey...& then continued with "and I'm so very tired of doing the right thing" and he stopped & said "whose words are they?" I told him Morrissey & he said "that's exactly how I feel"

And then we went into the bedroom, I was putting away laundry & he was moaning about freedom again (this time I sang some george michael) & then he said "sometimes I just feel like..." and I finished the sentence by saying "sleeping with other people" and he said "yeah" & I said "fine, just go do it".

This is what I don't really understand, why is freedom equated with sleeping with other people? Maybe I am just boring...

I don't think I want him to do that, but I am kind of getting a bit over the threat of it. It makes me feel anxious when I really just want to feel happy. Then he was talking about the "family life" that I make him live. But really, what can I do? We have 2 children but we are still fairly fun & 'alternative' (whatever that means). I never wanted to write about this again & it is tiring for me so it must be boring for the reader...

Anyway, on to a different tack. I think I have my very own stalker. This guy that has been around (meaning I have seen him in indie clubs, at gigs. mutual friends) suddenly spoke to me at a club I went to on Friday night. Well, he spoke to my friend first & said "she tried to take me out on a date once" & I was like....I don't think so! and then he blamed me for breaking up his relationship....oh, there was so much crazy stuff that it would just be a rant if I wrote it all here. But he has made me feel really uncomfortable. I think he thinks that we have "something" going on together. He said that I was a single mum (I'm not) and was asking me if I was interested in other guys at the club. Then on the dancefloor he kept touching me up! It was awful...then to top it all off my friend had her purse stolen & I think this guy took it. I am really worried that he might figure out where I live.

Then also a girl came up to me and said "you are afraid to do something but I want to tell you 'just do it"...."let go of your fear"...she wanted to kiss me!

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  • It's clear that there are extremely few men that have the imagination and passion it takes to be pleased to just make one woman happy in the sack, you know, one, stay with one, keep wanting to make her happy...There is some insidious wall up against the idea in men's brains and I'm certain that it isn't because they are born that way.
    redpathetic -- Sunday May 11 2008, @10:30AM (#302571)
    (User #6184 Info)
    Happy in this final acceptance of his own absurdity...Albert Camus
    • Re:Goofs by Anonymous (Score:0) Monday May 12 2008, @05:14AM
    • Re:Goofs by M-in-Oz (Score:1) Monday May 12 2008, @06:32PM
      • Re:Goofs by Anonymous (Score:0) Tuesday May 13 2008, @12:36AM
        • Re:Goofs by M-in-Oz (Score:1) Tuesday May 13 2008, @05:11PM
          • Re:Goofs by Anonymous (Score:0) Wednesday May 14 2008, @03:42AM
  • it's not boring for THIS reader :)
    you manage to just sneak huge stuff into your journal - a stalker?? a girl wanted to kiss you?? your s.o. wants to sleep with other people??? I'd be writing a novel at this point!

    and i also don't get it - why freedom = sleeping with whomever you want...... I dunno why that is, but it seems to be the case. Usually, when someone feels trapped, it's because of being monogamous with one person.... but why is that trapped? i mean, as long as you're free to do whatever you want, i.e. have hobbie, interest, friends of your own, etc. isn't that enough to feel free? what is it about sleeping with others that equates to freedom?
    I had a hard time trying to establish my own issues with this question - I used to feel "trapped" - and then, almost as if one day, I realized, I'm not trapped at all..... I can do whatever I want to do...... I was self imposing all of these imaginary bars on my cage (if you will) when there were no bars there...... I wasn't understanding how to compromise - I always felt like I was the one giving up on stuff and feeling cheated out of experiencing x, y, z.....
    and well, this next part, please ignore me if I'm being too forward - but in my experience, these feelings of "You mean I'm never gonna sleep with anyone else ever again?!?!" tend to come out when there is someone with whom one would like to sleep...... but that's just been my (very limited) experience..... probably not the case here, just saying what I went through..... and of course, there are always people we'll be attracted to throughout our lives, whether we are in a relationship or not, and it's just a matter of how we act about it.....

    re - stalkers - I worry about my sister because she tends to be very nice and friendly (I say - NAIVE - but that's just me) but she's had situations (and this has happened with at least 5 guys in the last few years) where she goes out on a few dates with someone, or starts the 'talking' to someone phase of a relationship, and then all of a sudden, she's got guys showing up at her work, waiting for her by her house, calling and leaving scary-type messages, etc.
    As soon as she backs off because she's not interested, they turn into stalkers.... I call her a stalker magnet but I worry that maybe people are just becoming more like that in recent years (with the advent of texts and myspace, etc. they can figure out a lot about where you hang out, what your schedule is like, where you work, etc.).
    freaky....
    everybody's lost -- Monday May 12 2008, @09:43AM (#302617)
    (User #12791 Info)
    ...a chat with you and somehow, death loses its sting.
    • Re:well.... by M-in-Oz (Score:1) Monday May 12 2008, @06:36PM
  • Dear M,

    I enjoy reading your journal and wanted to thank you for something you mentioned before. You wrote about Germaine Greer being one of your pillars of inspiration, or something to that affect. after that, I took a book by her down off the shelf and started reading it again. When I first purchased it some years ago, well it didn't hold my attention. but now, it's all very relevant. The book I am referring to is "The Change: Women, aging and the Menopause" by Germaine Greer. That book is so interesting to me now. she is so insightful. She writes: "The change hurts. Like a person newly released from leg-irons, the freed woman staggers at first. Though her excessive visibility was anguish, her present invisability is disorienting." It is so true.

    Thanks for reminding me of the brillance of GG. Yes, she and Morrissey are two very inspirational people.

    Regarding your current post, I am sorry to hear of your partner's wandering eyes. When I was younger I didn't believe in monogamy but now it is a way of life for me. I have been with the same man for 15 years now, but I still don't feel we have explored everything yet. There is still more to learn about each other. Carnal knowledge is a book that is forever being written. I must say I admire your candid response to your partner. I think it is better to discuss things and bring them out into the open. Sometimes just talking about something, such as the lure of infidelity, can rob it of its power.

    I wish you the best, dear lady. --ciao, Art

    aka "A Freed Woman"
    artful dodger -- Monday May 12 2008, @05:54PM (#302658)
    (User #13974 Info | http://www.myspace.com/wallieworld)
    and as for me, I stand with the tribe of Morrissey.


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