It's clear that there are extremely few men that have the imagination and passion it takes to be pleased to just make one woman happy in the sack, you know, one, stay with one, keep wanting to make her happy...There is some insidious wall up against the idea in men's brains and I'm certain that it isn't because they are born that way.

it's not boring for THIS reader :)
you manage to just sneak huge stuff into your journal - a stalker?? a girl wanted to kiss you?? your s.o. wants to sleep with other people??? I'd be writing a novel at this point!

and i also don't get it - why freedom = sleeping with whomever you want...... I dunno why that is, but it seems to be the case. Usually, when someone feels trapped, it's because of being monogamous with one person.... but why is that trapped? i mean, as long as you're free to do whatever you want, i.e. have hobbie, interest, friends of your own, etc. isn't that enough to feel free? what is it about sleeping with others that equates to freedom?
I had a hard time trying to establish my own issues with this question - I used to feel "trapped" - and then, almost as if one day, I realized, I'm not trapped at all..... I can do whatever I want to do...... I was self imposing all of these imaginary bars on my cage (if you will) when there were no bars there...... I wasn't understanding how to compromise - I always felt like I was the one giving up on stuff and feeling cheated out of experiencing x, y, z.....
and well, this next part, please ignore me if I'm being too forward - but in my experience, these feelings of "You mean I'm never gonna sleep with anyone else ever again?!?!" tend to come out when there is someone with whom one would like to sleep...... but that's just been my (very limited) experience..... probably not the case here, just saying what I went through..... and of course, there are always people we'll be attracted to throughout our lives, whether we are in a relationship or not, and it's just a matter of how we act about it.....

re - stalkers - I worry about my sister because she tends to be very nice and friendly (I say - NAIVE - but that's just me) but she's had situations (and this has happened with at least 5 guys in the last few years) where she goes out on a few dates with someone, or starts the 'talking' to someone phase of a relationship, and then all of a sudden, she's got guys showing up at her work, waiting for her by her house, calling and leaving scary-type messages, etc.
As soon as she backs off because she's not interested, they turn into stalkers.... I call her a stalker magnet but I worry that maybe people are just becoming more like that in recent years (with the advent of texts and myspace, etc. they can figure out a lot about where you hang out, what your schedule is like, where you work, etc.).
freaky....

Dear M,

I enjoy reading your journal and wanted to thank you for something you mentioned before. You wrote about Germaine Greer being one of your pillars of inspiration, or something to that affect. after that, I took a book by her down off the shelf and started reading it again. When I first purchased it some years ago, well it didn't hold my attention. but now, it's all very relevant. The book I am referring to is "The Change: Women, aging and the Menopause" by Germaine Greer. That book is so interesting to me now. she is so insightful. She writes: "The change hurts. Like a person newly released from leg-irons, the freed woman staggers at first. Though her excessive visibility was anguish, her present invisability is disorienting." It is so true.

Thanks for reminding me of the brillance of GG. Yes, she and Morrissey are two very inspirational people.

Regarding your current post, I am sorry to hear of your partner's wandering eyes. When I was younger I didn't believe in monogamy but now it is a way of life for me. I have been with the same man for 15 years now, but I still don't feel we have explored everything yet. There is still more to learn about each other. Carnal knowledge is a book that is forever being written. I must say I admire your candid response to your partner. I think it is better to discuss things and bring them out into the open. Sometimes just talking about something, such as the lure of infidelity, can rob it of its power.

I wish you the best, dear lady. --ciao, Art

aka "A Freed Woman"