the clock is ticking for my Morrissey going decision. I haven't yet figured out what time it is in Australia when it is 9am in London and I haven't applied for a passport (which take about 6 weeks to be approved) and I don't have a credit card to pay for the tickets. It will also be one year since my aunty passed away & I know that the family is having a rememberance get-together.

I've left it alone for the last few days as we had a little disagreement about the whole, mad idea. I think we needed some time to cool down & think it over.

This afternoon I picked up my friend from the airport & was talking over the idea with her & she was all for it. She was saying that I've been a 'stay at home mum' for ever & I deserved/needed a little adventure & not to feel selfish for leaving the kids. But I don't know...we are different in our outlook on life. I kind of get what she is saying, but I can kind of see myself crying with the guilt of missing them/leaving them - seeing Morrissey - then crying again!!

Two nights ago I had a dream where I saw my ex-bf's band & we ended up in a 'situation'...then the next day there was a message in my inbox to review them! So I said "yes" cos I've been very curious about them/him. Its might be a little weird though, seeing him after a few years. But it also felt like a psychic message being put out into the universe.

Sometimes I feel that if you get what you wish for, it isn't what you really want or need.