"The 2008 Olympics are finally here. After months of questions about whether or not Beijing can pull this off, the opening ceremonies are tonight…or last night…or tomorrow…or yesterday! Hard to keep it straight with that 15-hour time difference from where I am.

Look, I’m not here to hate on the Olympics. Wait…actually…I am! We touched on it yesterday in the J.R.I.B. forum, but the fact is, it doesn’t matter where they are or what the air quality is, the Olympics lost the heat on their fastball years ago. Taking nothing away from the athletes that have dedicated their entire lives to this moment, but we just don’t care very much. Back in the day, not only did we compete for the gold, but we were battling for an ideal. A way of life! The U.S. vs. the entire Eastern Bloc! Our amateurs against their pros! Good vs. Evil. Settling it with nukes was out of the question, but we could battle in the pool or on the track for world supremacy! That’s what made the games so compelling. But, we don’t have that anymore.

Now, it’s just a bunch world class athletes running around representing themselves and their respective shoe companies. Good, but not the same. Truth is, the Olympics just haven’t been the same for me since a barefoot Zola Budd dropped that slide-tackle on a hysterical Mary Decker. Not the same, because I know it will never be as good as that ever again. Now that was cool! Michael Phelps could win 12 gold medals and still wouldn’t compare to that. The “Miracle on Ice” was a street hockey game compared to that historic takedown. Nothing that great will happen in these or any other games ever again…so why watch?!

Look, I suppose I’ll grind through the archery and handball finals. And there are a couple of fencing matchups that I’ve been pointing towards for months. And, watching athletes compete in air quality that coal miners wouldn’t work in will be cool, but don’t look for a series of “takes” and “burns” from me about the games. I’ll pick you up on hoops, track and some swimming…but that’s about it!

Unless we rack some gold in something else, then I’ll crow about that. Regardless of what it is…USA…“war” barefoot slide-tackles."