Hardly an inventive title, I think you'll agree. But then again, I have NO style, folks.

Well, my "holiday" was decidedly shit. Is this down to my fussy nature? Or down to the fact that it truly was shit? Or, perhaps more likely, down to the fact that I was so sunburned after being on the beach on Monday that I couldn't walk on Tuesday or Wednesday without being in a considerable amount of pain. Yes, journal readers, you can all call me whatever names under the sun you so wish, and I wouldn't bat an eyelid, except for to clear the water from my eye. But get some hamrful rays from the sun and, well, it is like Kryptonite to Superman.

The company wasn't much, either. My "friend" who I went with talked with his aunt most of the time, and pretty much completely avoided speaking to me. I doubt I'll be hanging around with him much when I go to university. It's no great loss. To either party.

Apart from that, I found Spain typically...boring. The land is all yellow and dusty due to lack of precipitation. The people seem to look all very similar - dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair. And, surprisingly, the girls weren't ABSOLUTELY stunning. About the same percentage of good looking girls, in that area of Spain at least, as there is back home in Scotland (hardly babe capital of the world). There was this one girl, however, who I saw on the beach. She could, quite honestly, be the best looking girl I have ever seen in my life. Long legs, tanned, perfect body, effectively. I think she liked me. But I wouldn't know, due to my dismal lack of the Spanish langauge and her inability to speak English. So, a chance sadly lost. As if I'd have done anything anyway!

And, so, I return home to Scotland to...rain, and a boring job. Isn't life one hell of a rollercoaster? Or a train, one of the two.

I came up with three songs when I was on holiday. OK, so I lie. I came up with three song titles when I was on holiday, without any lyrics or music to go with them. So they're some "work in progress" items. Should I tell you the titles? Oh no, I mustn't. I'll put it on my website, and when they are recorded, they will be available for download. Honest. It's all true.

Aren't you excited at these new developments? You should be. They will be the strongest songs to touch your life since a lanky Mancunian came along. I swear.

I'll bring this to a head now. Don't cry too much, I'll be back shortly...