Dear Morrissey,

It's been far too long. As I sit here in the bus station, waiting for the 963, I'm rather captivated by the difference in civilisation. Everything's so much cleaner up here. People actually care about their surroundings. Down here, the streets are littered, quite literally, with scallies. "Neanderthals" would be a compliment, no less.

Anyway, enough about society's shortcomings. With it being a two-hour journey, I took my MD player to listen to some songs. The MD in question had all the songs I had downloaded on my old computer. And I came across some "blasts from the past", so to speak. And I cried. Well, I didn't really, but it really is quite a notion to hear the songs again. As the Stranglers once sang, "Golden Brown". What really did happen to some of these bands though?

Babylon Zoo were something to behold. A freakish looking frontman and a Levis advert helped propel them to number 1 with "Spaceman". Some of the lyrics were good as well: "This sickening taste/Homophobic jokes/Images of fascist votes/Beam me up, cos I can't breathe". Apaprently, they had a song out this year (which I didn't hear), and it flopped, so they gave up the ghost. Shame.

The Crash Test Dummies as well...Did they not have a few albums out? Anyway, the most famous of their songs had to be "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm", one of the great songs of the nineties (1994?). The lyrics told of the abuse of some young children. In fact, Steve, you could say that it was their "Suffer Little Children".

I had some interesting stuff to say, but, er, I've said it. Well, I've said some stuff anyway. As Murray Walker once said, "I've started, so I'll finish".

Sincerely,
William

PS - Did you authorise the sale of David Beckham?