The London Olympics Thread

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this is good, but the Olympics was in motion before the financial meltdown. Labour would have carried through on it, wouldn't have scrapped it or asked the Chinese to do an encore: which was what i wanted until it actually started.

i owe my life to the N.H.S and would've died in the U.S . Or gone bankrupt. I'm trying to enjoy it, but when it's over, it's back to business resisting the Banker's Clampdown.

regards
 
Because normal people don't give a toss about some unheard-of athletes running around a track. Nobody cares about any of it except the extravagant waste of money involved.

but you, 'anonymous', care about it enough to troll/flame this thread? chill.

regards
 
I heart Frankie Boyle

http://www.frankieboyle.com/frankie/olympics2.html

The Olympic Horror #2

I’d like to see Prince Philip at the women’s beach volleyball. Screaming ‘tits, arse and fanny’ like he’s a character from Father Ted. The expectant media holds it’s breath as the Prince shakes the Brazilian’s hand, thanks her for a wonderful match then casually announces that today was the first time he’s come since they sank the Belgrano.

A plan for soldiers wearing tracksuits was rejected. It wasn’t just inappropriate, but impractical. Apparently Tacchini only make enough of their Kevlar-weave range to supply Manchester. I think most visitors to the Olympic venues wouldn’t want their pockets rummaged through by a guy in a tracksuit, especially as that would spoil the surprise of it happening again that evening as they head through East London on foot.

Imagine coming back from Helmand and having to go straight to the games. If I were in the Afghan shooting team, I’d be shitting myself. I don’t think we should look at terrorists as if they’re ruining these Olympics so much as improving the Paralympics.

A word of advice to the tourists in London: If you are feeling overwhelmed by the crowds and the traffic and need to be alone, find some breathing space and chill out in a quiet area. You could do worse than getting a ticket for the women’s football. The North Korean team walked off at their Olympic match in Glasgow after their images were shown beside a South Korean flag. Lucky the team walked off the pitch before the national anthem as Glasgow had cued up the music from the Bodyform advert.
If you want viewers for the woman’s football, I have a plan for the BBC: a commentary booth with one mic, a bottle of red wine, half a dozen Viagra and Andy Gray. His commentary would be the stuff of legend - ‘These birds have got to be disappointed having turned up to this big event all wearing the same outfit.’ Can you imagine as the camera moves along the line as they sing the national anthem, all we hear from the commentary booth is Andy Gray saying ‘6, 4, 9, 3, 5 potential 7 if I had a drink in me.’

Sad David Beckham wasn’t picked – though it must be some consolation that the Haitian team have asked Victoria if she’ll stand by the stadium entrance to ward off evil spirits.

Two million people attended events during the first 3 days of the Olympics, firmly establishing it as Britain’s second most popular attraction after the dole queue. I still can’t get used to being in a British pub that’s showing archery and kayaking on the big screens. It’s like the middle ages had HD TVs.

There were moments in the Opening Ceremony when I didn’t know what was going on, but for people watching in other countries it must have looked like Britain was having an all-singing breakdown. Prince Phillip had to sit through a 3 hour multicultural spectacular - just perfect for a 90-year-old racist with a dodgy bladder. Everyone got excited when they saw what looked like the Queen jump out of a plane. Particularly Prince Charles. My favourite part was during the parade of countries when an athlete said he wanted Rwanda to be known for its cycling team. Well good luck with that. It might take a while.

We were all warned how busy it was going to be once the Olympics started and they were right - Center Parcs is packed. 60,000 seats are left empty every day as VIP guests don’t turn up. I’d like to know what better things they’ve got to do than go and watch Tunisia play Serbia at volleyball.

Seb Coe’s insisted we’ll see an end to empty seats at venues. Apparently he reckons half of them can be ripped out by Monday. If only there was some way round this. Maybe seeing how many seats were empty just before the start and letting in that many people queuing outside. Oh, perhaps I’m being simplistic. Under attendance is probably just a clever way to disorientate Al Qaeda. They’ll hardly be the toast of the Madrassas for just leaving venues littered with broken bits of blue plastic chairs like the aftermath of a wedding reception in Dundee.

The organisers’ solution was to get the army in to watch the gymnastics. Which wasn’t great as when they see that many people flying through the air at once they start to get flashbacks.

That Gymnastics vaulting horse brought back painful memories of school. Though in the end I abandoned the tunnel and escaped using a glider fashioned from rulers and toilet paper.

Tom Daley and partner were both absolutely gutted at losing the synchronised diving. Although to be fair Daley was gutted about a quarter of a second behind the other guy.. Tom disappointed a lot of people watching the high diving event. Mainly paedophiles who were hoping his trunks would get pulled off. A 17-year-old boy was arrested for abusing Tom Daley on the internet. They say he’s ‘helping the police with enquiries’ – well, unless they’re enquiring into ‘who here is a bit of a c***’, I can’t see what help he’ll be. I thought if anyone was going to abuse Tom Daley it would have been a man in his 50s. I’m not one for abusive tweets. The closest I got was training my nan’s parrot to call the local priest an arsehole.

Cheryl Cole has asked Tom Daley to teach her how to dive. Never mind that - she should have asked him to teach her how to sing.

In the diving instead of increasing the difficulty by raising the boards I think they should just make the pool gradually shallower. And they should do away with the bronze medal and simply offer a wildcard entry into the Paralympic team.

Swimmer Michael Phelps became the most decorated Olympian ever this week – and with the amount of time he’s spent being damp it’s hard to believe he won’t retire with a covering of moss and some structural damage. The most decorated Olympian. In my house that honour goes to the Victoria Pendleton screensaver on my laptop. I read an interview with Pendleton where she said she can lift twice her own bodyweight. Sexy, as it means she still wouldn’t be able to throw me off.

A Chinese girl of 16 has been accused of taking steroids after she swam faster than the male champion. Of course there could be a perfectly reasonable innocent explanation for this – for instance, she could be a mermaid. Commentators say it’s impossible to knock five seconds off your personal best. Not true, I managed it yesterday when I was watching the beach volleyball and heard my wife’s car pull into the driveway. Chinese girls start swimming as soon as they are born, well they do if they want to get out of the lake.

There needs to be a handicap system to stop the same teams always topping the tables. I’d suggest competitors have to do events wearing their country’s previous Olympics medal haul. Then Team GB could be spurred across the line by what look like half a dozen glistening golden armadillos…or depending on the event, shimmering dead swimmers.

Bradley Wiggins won our second gold in the cycling time trial and there are calls for him to be given a knighthood. I say give him a job as a postman. The cycling successes are an inspiration to our young. Handy, as in 20 years time cycling skills will be at a premium, as selling the necessary kilowatts to China will be the only way we’ll be able to buy our tallow candles.

A Swiss footballer was expelled for racism – he was whisked off to the airport with barely enough time to sign a 3 year contract for Liverpool. And sadly Paula Radcliffe was forced to pull out of the marathon with a foot problem. She couldn’t run more than a foot without needing a shit.

Eight Olympic badminton players were disqualified for trying to throw the match. Their game was described as farcical. Long before this scandal came to light. It was obvious they weren’t going to try their hardest, one team came on to the court with table tennis bats and their opponents came out wearing blindfolds and carrying snooker queues. If I was watching I’d have booed them too, because I hate badminton.

If someone invented badminton today the most interest they’d get is from Theo Paphitis who’d agree to invest 5 grand on condition that the stupid feather cup is replaced by a ball.

The giant McDonalds has become a refuge from the rain. A promotion from their usual role as a refuge from increasing public toilet prices. It really is the people’s games. It’s just a shame that the people whose games it is are all sitting in their boardrooms working on plans to make fast food from human bones and extract oil from broken dreams.
 
Sport's world of privilege

No-one should be surprised by the revelation that Education Secretary Michael Gove has authorised the flogging off of 21 state school playing fields during his two years of office.

While the Tories attempt to claim credit for British athletes' Olympic successes and spout platitudes about the need to build for the future, their interest in sport, as in other spheres of life, is in elite achievements rather than improving access to sports facilities and coaching for all.

When the Tory-Liberal Democrat coalition put together its government agreement, it pledged to "seek to protect school playing fields."

But it omitted the get-out clause that this pledge was conditional on no-one seeing private profitable opportunities in them.

The Tories waged an undeclared war against state school sports facilities in their time in office from 1979 to 1997, operating on the basis that if children were interested in sport parents could enrol them in private clubs.

Around 10,000 school playing fields were sold off during that period for housing, school buildings and other developments.

It mirrored the sell-off and transformation of local authority swimming pools into private gyms or leisure centres that often proved too expensive for low-income families.

Possibilities still remain for sport-obsessed youngsters to make a mark for themselves, but it requires a much greater commitment from them than from the comfortable 7 per cent of children who are sent to private schools with state-of-the art facilities and professional sports coaches.

It is ironic that it took Lord Moynihan, a former Tory sports minister and hereditary baron from precisely that privileged background, to point out that it was "wholly unacceptable" that half of the British team's medals at the Beijing Olympics in 2008 were won by those schooled in the private sector.

However, adjudging a situation unacceptable does not necessarily indicate an awareness of how to change it.

Moynihan went on to say: "There is so much talent out there in the 93 per cent, which should be identified and developed and given equal opportunity through a sports policy that reaches out to able-bodied and disabled children whatever their background."

But how should that be done and how should it be financed?

There has been a sizeable increase in funding for the top end of elite sport, especially in athletics, canoeing, equestrianism, rowing, sailing and swimming, which has brought results in terms of medals.

About 60 per cent comes from the National Lottery - overwhelmingly the result of working-class participation - and 40 per cent from Treasury funds, which depend on the taxes borne disproportionately by working people.

The same applies to the privileged education sector enjoyed by most coalition Cabinet members.

Many of their schools, such as Eton College, are designated as educational charities enabling them to benefit from tax breaks, courtesy of the rest of us, to provide the most exceptional facilities for their students.

Among these is the Eton Dorney rowing centre, owned by the college, where the Olympic rowing events take place.

The picture for sport, as with so much else, is one of division - an elegant sufficiency for the rich and the scraps from the table from the rest of us.

Public funding of the medal-seeking elite is justifiable, but at least as important is investment in the sporting grass roots, especially in state schools, and a phasing out of educational privilege.

http://www.morningstaronline.co.uk/index.php/news/content/view/full/122377
 
Tom just scrapped through to the semi's last night. Should be an intriguing morning. I like the diving commentary. It's quite irreverent.
 
Is Kate Bush performing on the ending ceremony? I'm not a fan really. But it would be interesting to watch.
 
The Olympics have been a wonder. Great. Don't want them to end.
 
The Olympics have been truly great. I don't want them to end, but they have, bar the closing ceremony :)

Some moments I'll remember for the rest of my life include...

Mo Farah winning the men's 5,000 metre race.

Usain Bolt racing to be a double-double Olympian.

Tom Daley overcoming all he has had to live through and winning a medal.


And this

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...U-S-rower-denies-erection-medal-ceremony.html

He's so happy.


Well, it was magnificent and I will miss it so much.

Well done London. Well done to the British people. Well done to the athletes who made history.
 
Our satellite crapped out on only the channel the closing ceremony was on. I only got to see up to Annie Lennox. It was flickering during Roger Waters then nothing. Kind of a blessing actually, I was getting tired of watching it and I knew the Spice Girls were going to be featured at some point which is yawntastic. :o
 
They aught to get Morrissey to perform November Spawned A Monster at the opening ceremony of the Paraolympics! btw. I noticed the BBC lost the right to broadcast the Paraolympics. I wonder if heads will roll at the corporation because of this...or will they just not give a shit because it's only the Paraolympics?
 
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