Morrissey currently without management or record deal - statement at true-to-you.net

Announcement - true-to-you.net
4 March 2012

Music industry trade websites have recently listed Morrissey as being presently managed by either Irving Azoff or Ron Laffitte. This information is untrue. Morrissey does not have management, and does not have a recording deal. Any enquiries on both of these matters may be addressed to Donnie at [email protected]. No other source at this time represents Morrissey.

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UPDATE Mar. 6, 7:50AM PT:

alabamy posted some additional info on "Donnie".

 

[shayde]

DAY ONE
hired as morrissey's manager. first action: fire jessie tobais.
put boz on a diet and send him on a 10 km daily run. tell him he's a coronary waiting to happen and he will have to fit into speedos if he wants to remain a part of the band.
morrissey complains. tell him to go away and write some meaningful lyrics, and not just a few lines repeated over and over. i want a good 100 word song on my desk by morning.
DAY TWO
call stephen street and order an album worth of hit songs. he has some he prepared earlier (circa 1990). suggests hiring bernard butler to play guitar. still need a bass player. working on it.
morrissey returns with songs about lawyers. tell him it needs to be more down to earth and suggest he write it about people who annoy everyday people. he returns - lawyers replaced with 'indians'. i tell him to keep up the good work.
DAY THREE
need bass player for album recording. call peter hook and ask if he would like to work with a fellow manchester legend? he replies 'i ain't working with that barney ever again - you can tell him to fook off.'
tell him its morrssiey and he agrees
DAY FOUR
record frighteningly melodic, rocking, album - the likes of what hasn't been seen since well 'Vauxhall & i'
DAY FIVE
start bidding war between emi, warners, geffen, BMG, sony (actually how many of these exist now? or are they all one? - oh nevermind)
DAY SIX
morrissey signs new 6 album deal with major and embarks on sell out tour to promote it
DAY SEVEN
morrissey fires me. he can do all this himself and doesnt need a manager, he explains

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Article: Morrissey currently without management or record deal - statement at tru

DAY ONE
hired as morrissey's manager. first action: fire jessie tobais.
put boz on a diet and send him on a 10 km daily run. tell him he's a coronary waiting to happen and he will have to fit into speedos if he wants to remain a part of the band.
morrissey complains. tell him to go away and write some meaningful lyrics, and not just a few lines repeated over and over. i want a good 100 word song on my desk by morning.
DAY TWO
call stephen street and order an album worth of hit songs. he has some he prepared earlier (circa 1990). suggests hiring bernard butler to play guitar. still need a bass player. working on it.
morrissey returns with songs about lawyers. tell him it needs to be more down to earth and suggest he write it about people who annoy everyday people. he returns - lawyers replaced with 'indians'. i tell him to keep up the good work.
DAY THREE
need bass player for album recording. call peter hook and ask if he would like to work with a fellow manchester legend? he replies 'i ain't working with that barney ever again - you can tell him to fook off.'
tell him its morrssiey and he agrees
DAY FOUR
record frighteningly melodic, rocking, album - the likes of what hasn't been seen since well 'Vauxhall & i'
DAY FIVE
start bidding war between emi, warners, geffen, BMG, sony (actually how many of these exist now? or are they all one? - oh nevermind)
DAY SIX
morrissey signs new 6 album deal with major and embarks on sell out tour to promote it
DAY SEVEN
fires me. he can do all this himself and doesnt need a manager, he explains

1. Indians annoy 'everyday people'?

2. Peter f***ing Hook?

I completely agree with your general sentiments, though. However, get on the phone to Craig Gannon straight away, and Stephen Street can play bass guitar himself (just make sure he's actually allowed to play his own songs live, this time) and get Andrew Paresi in on drums.

Oh, and Boz doesn't need to lose weight: his (di)serivces are no longer required.

Thanks.

 

[Anonymous]

"and get Andrew Paresi in on drums."
Jesus, you are - idiot! Is Auntiefatty your friend?

 

[Torieger]

Re: Article: Morrissey currently without management or record deal - statement at tru

DAY ONE
hired as morrissey's manager. first action: fire jessie tobais.
put boz on a diet and send him on a 10 km daily run. tell him he's a coronary waiting to happen and he will have to fit into speedos if he wants to remain a part of the band.
morrissey complains. tell him to go away and write some meaningful lyrics, and not just a few lines repeated over and over. i want a good 100 word song on my desk by morning.
DAY TWO
call stephen street and order an album worth of hit songs. he has some he prepared earlier (circa 1990). suggests hiring bernard butler to play guitar. still need a bass player. working on it.
morrissey returns with songs about lawyers. tell him it needs to be more down to earth and suggest he write it about people who annoy everyday people. he returns - lawyers replaced with 'indians'. i tell him to keep up the good work.
DAY THREE
need bass player for album recording. call peter hook and ask if he would like to work with a fellow manchester legend? he replies 'i ain't working with that barney ever again - you can tell him to fook off.'
tell him its morrssiey and he agrees
DAY FOUR
record frighteningly melodic, rocking, album - the likes of what hasn't been seen since well 'Vauxhall & i'
DAY FIVE
start bidding war between emi, warners, geffen, BMG, sony (actually how many of these exist now? or are they all one? - oh nevermind)
DAY SIX
morrissey signs new 6 album deal with major and embarks on sell out tour to promote it
DAY SEVEN
morrissey fires me. he can do all this himself and doesnt need a manager, he explains

I would love to see all but Day Seven implemented, ASAP! All sound so promising.