Dear Viva,

Discussion in 'The Pigsty archive (read-only)' started by !Viva Hate!, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! Am I fucking going over?

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    Lovelorn?
    In debt?
    Lonely?
    Troubled?
    Need guidance?
    Need a father figure?



    Ask Viva.


    I'm here for you...I have the answers to your problems.
    Trust me, I'm a doctor.
     
  2. nothappynotsad

    nothappynotsad Blue balls in the heart.

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    You lie, sir!
     
  3. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! Am I fucking going over?

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    Hey now, this is an advice column...there are no lies here. This is a no spin zone.
     
  4. prisoner77

    prisoner77 Member

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    Put on spin cycle for 15 minutes and you might come out free from bobbles.
     
  5. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! Am I fucking going over?

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    My only problem is avoiding Wobbles.
     
  6. Buzzetta

    Buzzetta Sprd

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    The Doctor Is In

    [​IMG]
     
  7. HousingOfficer

    HousingOfficer I blame my mother

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    Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    Dear Agony Annie

    "I could have been wild and I could have
    Been free
    But Nature played this trick on me


    She wants it Now
    And she will not wait
    But she's too rough
    And I'm too delicate"

    As a 'Red Blooded' 19 year old I totally got these lyrics, they spoke to me with a clarity I had never heard before. Now 25 years later they still do.....Could I possibly be a latent homosexual, I'm married with 4 kids and don't think I have ever lusted after male flesh (but I am a Nurse)....Questions, Questions, Questions.:confused::confused:


    Please Help

    Pete, 46
    Kent
     
  8. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! Am I fucking going over?

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    I hate to be the one to tell you this Peter, but, you're a flaming homosexual. Abandon your wife and children before you're too old to land a 20-year-old East German twink...enjoy your big gay life while you can.

    Also, since you're gay now, you can admit you enjoy this video.



    Next?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 15, 2016
  9. dave.jay1@ntlworld.com

    dave.jay1@ntlworld.com Dave Jay

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    Dear Viva,
    I have been in a Very happy relationship for 10 years...but, the other weekend , a girl who drinks/gets DRUNK( NO offence meant to any ladies...But she is known as the "Local Bike") asked me if I wanted to buy her a "Jagerbomb", or two, and then she would "Pleasure" me , either in the Pub toilets, or the bushes outside, as a Thank you .... I only have a Dawgg to worry about, as she was on a leash tethered outside, ( the dawgg, not "the Bike"...) but I also know that one day, she ( the girl, not the dawgg)would tell the whole pub that she had done stuff with me, and my partner will no doubt then find out....should I keep it in my pants,( not the dawgg...) or just take my business ( and Dawgg) to another pub ??
    yours confusedly, Dave.
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2011
  10. billy scissors

    billy scissors a bit fond

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    and I'm Dame Kiri te Kenawa
     
  11. bored

    bored Lust a prima vista

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    You should have the bike come over and have some fun with you and your partner.. although, if she's known as the local bike you might want to avoid her as she probably has something to spread that you cannot get rid of.
     
  12. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! Am I fucking going over?

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    Hey now! Make your own thread!
     
  13. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! Am I fucking going over?

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    Nice to meet you, Dame Kiri. :)
     
  14. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! Am I fucking going over?

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....


    Dear Confused Dave,

    My advice to you would be, if she has a full set of teeth, go for it. If not or, God forbid, you are the faithful type but are looking for a little oral action outside of your partner, I suggest going down to your local grocer and buying a jar of Jif peanut butter (creamy, not crunchy), spreading it on your desired area, and having your Dawgg lick it off...the best thing about this is peanut butter is far cheaper than liquor.




    Next?
     
  15. dave.jay1@ntlworld.com

    dave.jay1@ntlworld.com Dave Jay

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    ...Sound advice indeed Doctor Viva....I will give the "Bike" a full dental check next time I am in her company.....if she is, indeed toothless, then its "Peanut butter, and "Walkies" time......at least the dawgg can't "Grass" me up for being unfaithful....Mind you, the Mutt is pretty Gummy these days too....Oh.....I am STILL so confused........
     
  16. !Viva Hate!

    !Viva Hate! Am I fucking going over?

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    Re: Pretty Girls Do Make Graves....

    I recommend you invest in Milkbones...they will keep your dog's teeth healthy and clean...and they taste pretty darn good to boot.
     
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