C
CrushedRoseGoesSplat!
Guest
People have been making all kinds of charges about Morrissey's love life. Since I have been privileged enough to have sat tubside at a few of Morrissey's baths, I would like to clear something up. Someone has charged that at some point, Morrissey couldn't be reached, he was rumored to have committed suicide, and Howie Klein said that he was actually on an island with his boyfriend, whoever that may have been. But I must say that is entirely untrue. On those occasions when Morrissey has vanished from the public view, he has been at my house, taking a bath, and eating chocolate mousse. He has never mentioned a lover to me at all. I am under the impression that he is closest to his cats, who actually answer his phones for him. I have not been able to get through to Morrissey to ask him if there is truth in what you're all alleging, or to schedule another bath for him at my house, basically because I'm on the outs with the tabby, JakeMyLove. I'm not sure how I got on that cat's @#!!!list, but it's been a few months of tension gone by, I can tell you. Maybe it had something to do with that post from months ago that I wrote, something about shooting the tires of Morrissey's limo, dragging him back to my house, and tying him to the bed?...In any case, if the situation changes, and my messages are actually passed on to Morrissey again, I'll be sure to let you all know what I find out.
Signed,
The Eternal Slave of Mr. Bubble,
CrushedRoseGoesSplat!
Signed,
The Eternal Slave of Mr. Bubble,
CrushedRoseGoesSplat!